Crimson Tide
by Gabriel99
Summary: She's messed up, she's twisted ... and it's his fault. She will give everything to kill him, to avenge her poisoned life ... but what can she do when he takes everything and more? [KakAnkOro]
1. Ch1: Return

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and don't make profit from this story (except for the enjoyment of writing it!)

A/N: This story is going to follow canon mostly for a while, then will branch off into what I guess is AU. It's rated 'M' for caution mostly at the moment (and language – it's Anko after all!) – perhaps violence and mentions of adult situations later on. This is a bit short, but I plan on putting up the next (longer) chapter in a few days. More detail can be found on my profile. I hope you enjoy it :)

Scene breaks: .c.c.c..c.c.c.

Thoughts: _italics_

Speech: "etc"

Memories: _italics_ enclosed in '..o.o.o.o..' breaks

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 1

**Return**

She stalked through the streets of Konoha confidently, ignoring villagers and shinobi alike whether they greeted her or not. Those who knew her – Kakashi with his "Yo", Genma with a flick of his senbon – would not care. Those who didn't would brush it off. They knew she was strange, and although people had mostly stopped _looking_ at her like they used to, they would never forget who she was. Mitarashi Anko, one-time student of the infamous snake Sannin, Orochimaru.

Anko knew she was different, and she knew that _he_ was the reason – the reason for her messed up view on life and her less than savoury obsessions. Feeling her mood take a turn for the worse, she veered towards the nearest bar and a bottle or two of sake, and then to one of the training grounds where she began to pound out her frustrations.

The fury, and the hatred, and the _bloodlust_ -

...o..o..o.o..o..o...

"_A little higher, Anko,"_

...o..o..o.o..o..o...

the fucking _bloodlust_ that would not let her rest even when she controlled it so ruthlessly because she knew _he_ was the cause.

...o..o..o.o..o..o...

_The creature gave a final jerk before becoming forever still, and she turned to see him smile at the blood on her hands._

...o..o..o.o..o..o...

Anko smashed the tree trunk, twisting in the air and then blasting a fire jutsu as a deadly blowtorch. She rammed her fist into the wood, and then did it again and again until she was elbow-deep in the sap. She couldn't remember much from that time, but she still had the nightmares. God, the nightmares ...

"Anko-san?"

Anko's head jerked up, making her aware of the fact that she had been staring at her hands, bleeding from splinters, for an unnoticed amount of time. It was now near dusk, and the grounds were a wreck around her, testament to her hatred.

Kurenai gave the wreckage a brief glance before going to Anko and gently unclenching her hands. It wasn't something she, or a number of jonins, hadn't seen before.

Kurenai knew that something in Anko was broken.

"Come along Anko. We'll sort your hands out."

Anko followed her slowly, still in a daze, but once they reached her apartment door she stopped the other woman. "Arigato, Kurenai-san," she smiled her usual on-the-edge grin, "I'll manage myself now." Kurenai may have protested, but Anko was firm.

_My sanity may waver, _she thought grimly, _but I'll be damned if I can't so much as bandage my own fucking hands!_

Kurenai smiled, and if it was a bit sad and sympathetic Anko ignored it. She wasn't used to and didn't care for anyone's pity. She'd rather die than accept it from anyone.

Kurenai watched her face with blood red eyes, reading the discomfort there. "Goodnight then, Anko-san." the kunoichi smiled sincerely at her. "I hope you enjoy the chunin exams this year. My genin team is participating and I heard a rumour that you are going to be one of the examiners, is that true?"

Anko's grin became a bit feral. "Yes, but don't think I'm going to go easy on them just because they're _your_ team! I'm looking forward to seeing how all those brats manage..."

Kurenai shrugged, her smile becoming more cheerful and relaxed. "I never expected any less from you, Anko! But my team can handle themselves. There are a number of brilliant genin competing this year, including last year's number one group of rookies. That includes two of the Hyuuga clan, and that last Uchiha boy, Sasuke I believe his name is."

Anko nodded, her interest seeming to fade. She turned away from the jonin, "Goodnight, Kurenai."

"Goodnight, Anko."

In her apartment, Anko lay on her bed in the dark. _Uchiha Sasuke. Hyuuga Neji. And of course that Kyuubi boy no one likes to mention – Uzumaki Naruto. The exams will definitely be interesting. Hmm ... can't wait._

She ran her tongue over one still-bleeding scratch on the back of her hand, and slept with dreams of blood and death and snakes and _him_.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When Anko stood in front of the class of genin, berating Ibiki about the high pass rate, she was inwardly pleased. The students were still sitting in a daze after her grand entrance, and a few were staring in disbelief. Anko was a great believer in getting people to underestimate her, and her entrance certainly made at least a few sceptical about her claims that _her_ portion of the exam would cut them down to at least half.

_Haha, they would be lucky if that many will remain,_ she sniggered to herself. "I'm getting excited..."

She got a strange feeling when one of the Grass nins stared at her, but it passed as soon as he/she/it looked away seemingly bored. It made Anko feel angry for some reason, so she cut the talk short.

"I'll explain everything tomorrow once we've changed places. Ask your jonin sensei for the time and place." she said coldly. "That's it! You're excused!"

She flipped the banner (pronouncing her name and position in broad, loud letters) closed, and disappeared through the window that she'd broken on her entrance. Sake. She needed sake. Her damn head was aching, and there were only a few things that helped. She briefly considered finding Kakashi, one of the few people who could amuse and 'distract' her, but didn't. He'd probably be busy with his genin team, and it would be meaningless anyway, for both of them.

_Maybe another time_, she thought dully, drinking the last of the sake before falling back in to bed. She dreamt of _him_ again, but dreams more vivid than she had had for a long time.

"_A little lower, Anko,"_

Even in her dreams she felt like someone was watching her. Even sleeping she tossed and thrashed out an arm and hissed his name.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The next day, Anko stood in front of the group of nervous but excited genin, and savoured her answer to the Kyuubi brat's question about their location.

"Welcome to the stage for the second test, practise area 44." She paused dramatically, enjoying the tangible fear, "Also known as ... the 'Forest of Death'!" The increase in fearful mutters was worth drawing everything out, and worth having to deal with the children. She drank in the tense atmosphere, enjoying the fear and the determination.

Anko liked fighting, she liked it more than anything else, probably because it was all she knew. She was brought up to be a shinobi, in a world of pain and blood and death, and that would be how she died. She didn't fear it, but she trained to become stronger so she could take out as many people as possible with her. _One in particular ..._

Anko chuckled. "You'll soon experience why it's called the 'Forest of Death'."

The Kyuubi brat glared at her, and then proceeded to mock her by imitating her words. _Mock **her**!_

"I'm not afraid!" he shouted loudly, pointing at her.

Anko smiled, "Yeah, you're spirited!" Her smile suddenly changed from cheerful and friendly to far less than that when she whirled around and flung a kunai at the boy so fast he didn't even have time to flinch.

It grazed his cheek, spilling a thin line of blood and Anko was behind him in a second.

"Kids like you are the first to be killed..." she chuckled softly, before putting her hand on his cheek and tilting his head to the side so that she could run her finger through the blood, "spraying that red blood that I love..." she whispered in his ear.

Just as she was about to wipe some off, her eyes narrowed and she drew another kunai, and was about to thrust it through the person who had appeared behind her when she stopped. It was that one Grass nin, holding out over her shoulder with her tongue the kunai she had thrown. She creased her eyes in an amiable smile, but did not relax.

"Here's your kunai." 'she' hissed around her tongue.

"Why, thank you," Anko replied, not lowering her weapon. Her grin became more feral, as did the other nin's. She felt a strange understanding with this shinobi, but it didn't make her feel comfortable.

"But you know," she continued, grabbing the kunai, "don't sneak up behind me like that, unless you want to die young."

"No," replied the Grass nin, "I just get excited when I see red blood." She smiled eerily, "Plus you cut my precious hair, I couldn't help it." Anko felt something ... strange, but then 'she' turned around suddenly and walked back to her team mates. "Sorry about that."

Anko watched her leave, trying to think why she felt so strange – it was like she was experiencing deja vu. "Looks like we have a lot of bloodthirsty ones in this test," she smirked, looking towards the Grass nin. She couldn't lie – she quite liked it, and sniggered again. "This should be fun."

Anko went on to tell the genin about the exam: the rules, details, and of course she took great delight in telling them about the indemnity forms, in case of death. She loved the look of frozen vermin many of them had on their face. She was glad to see that they seemed to have some idea of the seriousness of this, her exam.

But the whole time she was preoccupied with that incident. _Ah, the blood._ Anko was having to strain hard not to tremble in excitement, and on some level it disgusted her. That Grass nin that handed back her kunai gave her an odd feeling. Such an intense gaze – she wanted its blood too.

Something was nagging at the back of her mind, but she shrugged it aside – her head was aching and so distracting – and all she could think about was the coming bloodshed.

"Do you think we'll have many casualties this time?" one of the chunins asked her quietly, just after the gates had been opened for all the teams.

Anko smiled widely. "Hopefully," she replied, before moving away to take in the lingering anxiety.

"That one really freaks me out sometimes," the chunin remarked to another.

"Damn straight."

At that moment a scream sounded from the forest. Anko smirked, "Sounds like it's started."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A few hours later, Anko sat outside the main entrance to the Forest of Death. She was completely unconcerned about the carnage going on inside, and was absorbed by one of her favourite pastimes ...

"Mmmm, nothing better than dango and juice! Guess I should head to the tower when I'm done. The fast ones should be finished already." she mumbled happily, lazily throwing the dango stick with perfect accuracy at a tree trunk to finish an outline of the Konoha leaf – a testament to how much she loved the snack.

A chunin appeared in front of her. "Big trouble Anko-sama!"

_Hmm, I love hearing my name said like that._

"Mmm? What is it?" She wasn't entirely happy about having her meal interrupted.

"Bodies! Three of them!" came the reply.

Anko was unimpressed. _Don't they teach them anything at that academy any more? Of course people are going to die in this exam ..._

"And they're weird! Please come!" he finished urgently.

"Weird?" That piqued Anko's interest. _Better be good._ She felt uneasy about it for some reason, but shrugged it off. _I'll soon see what all this fuss is about ... _she looked sideways at the chunin and grinned ferally, _and if it's not worth interrupting me I'll let him know what happens to people who waste my time._

Luckily for the chunin, he was too worried to notice the looks she was sending his way.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The blood splattered the ground for a good area around the three bodies as they lay in twisted positions. Their bodies were placed awkwardly, like they had fallen where they stood without a chance to resist. The odd breaks and injuries ... it just wasn't right. There was something really strange about all of it – something she felt like she should remember just seeing them.

"After examining their papers and personal items, it seems they are the Hidden Grass shinobi who were entered in the chunin exam," the jonin informed her, "but ... as you can see ..."

"They have no faces." Anko finished. She was deeply disturbed, trying desperately to remember ...

"Yeah. They're blank, as if they were melted off." he replied.

Anko reached almost unconsciously towards her neck. She stared at the blood on one of the bodies, trying to remember the 'genin' who now wore it.

_There's no mistaking it ..._ She thought, a fragment of memory returning. _This is _his_ jutsu. Why ... why is _he_ in this exam?_ The day seemed too bright to hold such a dark memory that _he _brought back to her thoughts. It almost seemed unreal ... that he was here ...

Fear ... Anko felt it take over her, but it was more than that. It was such an intense rush of emotions – fear, fury, hatred, longing. Longing to see him again ... to see him and kill him.

She had a sudden realisation: "Show me the application pictures of these three Grass nins!" she demanded, anxious to prove or disprove her fears. "They should be in the file!"

She looked at the picture of the Grass nin that the man handed her, and recognised it. She knew it: _He stole _this_ face._ She remembered suddenly the incident with the kunai. _So at that time, he already ..._

"This is bad!" she said, turning to the jonins. "Go report this to Hokage-sama immediately!" They had never heard Anko speak so urgently and fearfully. "And send at least two ANBU teams into the Forest of Death!" She turned away before continuing. "I'm going after them right now, understood?"

"Yes!" the three shinobi were gone in an instant, knowing better than to ask any questions.

Anko reached for her neck again. _He's ... _he's_ in this village._ It felt like a foul wind was blowing through her soul.

He was here.


	2. Ch2: Face to face

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: this one is a lot longer than the last – the first chapter was more of an introduction and we'll get to all the interesting bits soon. I'm going to follow the anime because it's important to cover Anko's history first. Thanks to Drachen, Fallen Dragon and Makoto-Koto for the encouragement - this one's for you, a bit earlier than I planned!

Thanks for reading :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 2

**Face to Face**

She raced through the dark dense forest, slipping through the trees and avoiding the traps and beasts easily. _I better hurry._ She felt like it was taking too long, she couldn't move fast enough. _I'm getting ... a bad feeling._

The sun was sinking further in the sky, creating another beautiful crimson Konoha sunset. Anko paused for a second to confirm her bearings. _Almost nightfall. I must find him quickly – once it gets totally dark, I'll be at more of a disadvantage. But ... why is he ... at a time like this ... What is his purpose?_ She forcefully shook off her musings. _Well, it makes no difference. If you've come to this village,_ she told him, silently, fiercely, _then we will settle things today._

Dark had fallen, when Anko's pace increased. _I can sense him_. Whether it was the remains of her old seal, or the bond they used to have, or merely his power – she could sense him. He would not escape her now!

She leapt off a tree branch, falling down through a space between the trees high above the ground. _He's nearby!_ The feeling was getting stronger, like a pull in her chest, a burn in her dormant seal. She darted through the forest, pace increasing even more.

And then she leapt down on a flat branch, in front of him. He was upside down, with only the front portion of his body protruding from the trunk of the massive tree. His eyes opened at her approach, but he still didn't look like the man she knew.

Half of his 'face' was peeling off, giving glimpses of much paler features beneath, of a slit-pupil slanted eye. He smiled at her, and purred in his same, familiar voice:

"Long time no see, Anko." He lingered on her name, as if he knew hearing him say it pained her.

"You're now a most wanted level S dangerous criminal." she replied, almost conversationally. "I must stop you even if it costs me my life ..." She armed herself with senbon between each finger of her one hand.

"I learnt everything from you," her voice changed, filling with anger, "I was one of your soldiers and thus, that is my duty, right?" she shouted, "_Orochimaru_?" Hatred dripped from every syllable of his name, and she felt like just speaking it poisoned her lips.

His expression, the slight smile, didn't change. "That's impossible." He said it like it was a simple fact.

Anko growled, preparing to throw the senbon when his tongue extended to lash at her. She leapt backwards, but his tongue wrapped around her wrist forcing her to drop the weapons before pulling her towards him.

"Shadow Snake Hand!" she growled, pointing her arm towards him. Snakes spilled out, headed towards him. They crashed in to the bark where he was embedded, throwing a cloud of dust. "You won't get away!" she cried, using the snakes to pull him back towards her and slam him into the trunk of the opposite tree.

She retracted the serpents, and put her one hand to his against the bark, pinning both in the wood with a kunai through her flesh. She ignored the pain, and their flowing blood. "Caught you," she smiled in his face. "Orochimaru," she said then, her tone almost polite but determined, "I'm going to borrow your left hand."

She made the first seal, and his real exposed eye widened in recognition. "This hand seal is ..."

"Yes ..." she replied, "You and I will die here." She would use the deadly technique he taught her to kill him. It was almost fitting. She gathered her concentration, and started to say the jutsu in her mind: _Ninpo! Double Snake Assassination no ..._

A laugh reverberated in the air around her, interrupting her thought-spoken jutsu. It was his laugh, but he was ...

"Are you planning on committing suicide?" his amused voice came from around her. Her eyes widened in shock as she sensed him behind her. She turned her head to see him standing casually on the massive branch as he peeled off the remains of the mask, to reveal his real features. "It's Kawarimi." he said, indicating the copy she had pinned to the tree along with her own hand.

Her gut seemed to sink at the sound of his voice. The copy melted into mud but she couldn't take her eyes away from his face for a long moment. She hadn't seen him ... for so long ... And she had almost died – she might have, if he hadn't revealed that the other was a copy.

He laughed at her sudden realisation of how close she came to death. _That fear ..._ he smiled to himself,_ I have never forgotten the smell of_ her_ fear._ Her shoulders slumped in defeat, and he savoured that too. _Ever the less-than-perfect student ..._

"You are a 'special' jonin of this village." he smirked at her, moving closer, "You shouldn't be using all those forbidden jutsu I taught you." Anko refused to rise to that comment – that unspoken insult that she was not a 'full' jonin, that she did not have the talent to be a proper jonin – but she heard it nonetheless and it did affect her.

Anko pulled the kunai out of her hand and threw it at him, coated in her blood but he caught it easily between his fingers. "I told you it is useless." he repeated, smirking again before making another hand seal. Anko gasped at the sudden intense pain that shot through her body, centred around a certain place on her neck.

He dropped the bloody kunai, embedding it in the wood at his feet, and walked towards her with his familiar smirk again in place. "Why are you here now?" she managed to force out.

"We haven't seen each other in a while, and yet you're so cold ..." he mocked her.

"Have you come to assassinate Hokage-sama?" she growled, refusing to be baited.

"No, no," he replied, as if she were an ignorant child again, "I don't have enough men for that yet. I thought I'd recruit some outstanding ones from this village."

_The pain ..._ It was too much, and she couldn't stay standing any more and as much as she detested showing him weakness, she couldn't help but fall to her knees in front of him. She grasped her neck, where _he_ had placed that thing ...

"I just gave a child one of those same curse seals." Anko couldn't even answer. He knelt in front of her, "There's a child that I want." he revealed, like he was confiding in her some secret.

She managed to look up at him then, overcome with fresh hatred. "How selfish, as always." she said around gritted teeth. "That child's going to die."

"True," he replied, "the chance in surviving is one in ten, but, like you, he might not die."

She smirked at him, "You must really like this kid ..."

He interrupted her, reaching out with his hand to caress her cheek almost affectionately. Anko's eyes widened at this touch. His smell, the feel of his skin – it was so achingly familiar. She was captivated by his golden eyes and his presence, just like she was so long ago.

"Jealous, are we?" he said, amused. "Are you still upset that I used you and threw you away?"

She snapped out of her daze when he said that and pulled his hand away, the hatred returning full force. He smirked at her anger, rubbing in his thoughts on her weakness. "Unlike you, this one is talented. He's a child that carries the Uchiha ability, after all." His smile widened covetously. "He's also very beautiful ... a perfect vessel to be my successor. If that boy survives, things could get very interesting." Orochimaru stood up, opening his arms as if in a sign of peacefulness.

"Please don't stop this exam prematurely." he started to walk away. "Three from my village are also taking part. I'm going to enjoy this." He disappeared in a purple-black flame, leaving Anko alone. His disembodied voice remained for a moment: "If you try to spoil my fun, believe that Leaf Village is finished."

He was gone, and she couldn't even sense his distant presence any more. It made her wonder if he had allowed her to find him. _Orochimaru ..._ She wondered why she had ever thought she stood a chance against him. Yes, she had improved, but so had he. She wasn't any match for him at all and never had been.

"I _will_ kill you!" she shouted to the dark sky, unable to contain her anguished rage. She staggered to her feet and moved as quickly as she could through the forest, trying to find the damn ANBU and warn the Hokage. But ... she couldn't stop the exam. She wouldn't allow it. She had to find him again, and kill him. She _had_ to, or be haunted by him forever.

_I have to warn Hokage-sama_, she thought to herself, after stopping briefly to bandage her hand. Seeing Orochimaru had enraged her, but it made her feel empty as well. Empty of chakra, empty of hope, empty of any positive feelings.

Her eyes widened suddenly, as she looked towards the bushes that surrounded the plain where she was at the moment. Out of the brush emerged three enormous tigers, snarling at her fiercely. "Damn, at a time like this," she growled. She didn't have enough chakra after her fight with Orochimaru to even get away, let alone fend them off.

The beasts surrounded her quickly, trapping her with her back to a large stone outcropping. She stared up at one of the beasts, before another shock of sharp agonising pain spread from the re-emerged curse seal, causing her to fall to her knees again. But just as she thought they were going to leap at her, the tigers pitched over one by one.

"This is Body-Binding no jutsu," she said to herself in surprise.

"So this is where you are," a calm detached voice came from behind her. It was one of the ANBU. The two of them leapt to her side effortlessly. _About bloody time!_

"For ANBU, you guys sure are slow," she said irritably.

"Hey, don't say that." the one protested, but he was cut off when Anko gasped and grabbed at her neck again, falling to the floor as another flood of pain hit her.

"Are you alright? Hey ..." he paused in shock as he saw her neck. "This is ... That curse seal has reappeared! This can't be ... Orochimaru?"

"What? Where?" the other ANBU questioned. Orochimaru was one name even the ANBU feared. "Damn. We'd better take you to Hokage-sama."

"No," Anko managed to force out, "To the tower ..."

"What are you talking about?!" the ANBU demanded. "Martial law must be implemented the moment Orochimaru appears! The exam is meaningless now!"

"I know that," Anko replied, almost pleading, "I'll explain everything later. Get Hokage-sama too."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Things are getting bad," Anko told the ANBU when they got back to the tower, "but we can't stop the exam."

"What do you mean?"

The door opened before Anko could answer. "Excuse me," a chunin interrupted.

"What is it?" Anko asked, angry at being disturbed. "We're in the middle of an important matter!"

The chunin tensed at her hostile tone. "I'm sorry, but please take a quick look at this!" He put a tape in the video machine, and played it for Anko and the two ANBU.

"This is a recording of the three Sand shinobi, arriving at the tower and finishing the test in an hour and a half!" he explained to them.

Anko was shocked. "How is this ...?"

"In only 97 minutes." the chunin confirmed. "This has never happened before. These guys are not at a genin level, to demolish the old record by four hours."

"That's not all." Anko added, pointing out the shorter and younger red-headed boy, "That Sand shinobi travelled through 10 kilometres of the Forest of Death, and he doesn't have a scratch on him."

"It must have something to do with his abilities," the ANBU suggested. "Looks like a promising guy has appeared. I don't like the look of his eyes though." Anko silently agreed. His blue eyes were like a dangerous void, and reminded her uncomfortably about the state of her own soul.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Got anything?" the voice came as soon as Kabuto and his team from Konoha entered their entrance at the tower.

"Yes, more than I expected." the nin replied, a smirk on his face. "I've written down all the data pertaining to him from the second exam." He held up a card between his two fingers, "You need this, right?" If anyone were to see the man's transformation from the cheerful person mere minutes before to this cold, calculating self they would not have believed it.

The other man took the card, "So, how was he?"

Kabuto gave a cold laugh. "It looks like you are fond of him, Orochimaru-sama."

The snake Sannin smiled as he leant against the wall of the tower room, examining the card. "I want to hear your opinion ... as a spy from the Hidden Village of Sound."

"You don't need that," Kabuto replied, adjusting his glasses. "Since you are the one who will determine everything."

Orochimaru chuckled. "Your cunning is what I like." He disappeared in a whirl of smoke, but his voice lingered. "Well done."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko clutched her curse seal as she sat on a couch in one of the tower rooms. The pain had become excruciating mere moments before. The Hokage looked at her gravely, with two chunins now with them.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, "Does the curse seal still hurt?"

"No, its gotten better thanks to you," the jonin replied gratefully.

"Isn't Orochimaru one of the Sannins from the Konoha legends?" the one chunin asked. "He's an S-Class exiled ninja from the bingo book that not even the ANBU can deal with, right? I heard that he died, but ..."

"Why would he come to this village now?" the other asked.

Anko opened her mouth to speak, when a memory of Orochimaru touching her face, and telling her about the boy suddenly hit her. "It's most likely because ..."

"Sasuke, right?" the Hokage finished.

Anko stared up at him, disbelieving that he already knew. "Anko-sama!" a voice came through one of the radios, "It has been confirmed that 21 people have passed the exam. According to regulations we will have to have preliminary matches for the first time in five years. Second exam, completed!"

Anko still stared at the Hokage. "Anyway," he continued, "We will continue the exam. But we will see what he is up to at the same time."

"Yes, sir." Anko replied quietly.

Moments later, Anko was standing in front of the surviving genin with the rest of the jonins, chunins, and the Hokage. She congratulated them on passing, and smirked to herself. She had expected only about ten to pass out of the 72, but surprisingly 21 had made it. Anko passed on the explaining of the third exam, and studied the genin.

Kakashi's team ... that was the Uchiha boy. She stared at him, and felt troubled over her feelings. A part of her pitied him, and another part envied him. She pitied him because any person who attracted the attention of her old sensei would not survive the experience whole. Another part envied him, and hated him, because her sensei's words still stung. _"Unlike you, this one is talented."_ _Damn him._

She noticed the boy clutching his shoulder in pain, and wondered briefly if he would drop out, but felt pretty sure that he wouldn't. Any person Orochimaru was interested in wouldn't quit so easily.

"Just as I thought," the Hokage said quietly to Anko and Ibiki.

"What should we do?" the torture expert asked.

"We should take him out of the exams and isolate him with ANBU escorts," Anko suggested. "We need to advise him to withdraw immediately and ..."

"He's not the type to listen to you that easily," Kakashi interrupted her with his typical lazy smile. "He's part of the famous Uchiha clan, after all."

"Stop fooling around!" Anko growled at him. "I'll make him quit even if I have to use force!" _You don't understand the power of the seal, Kakashi. You couldn't. _"The cursed seal reacts whenever he tries to mould chakra, and it will try to extract power from him!" She clutched her own re-emerged seal, trying to make him understand. "It's a forbidden technique that undermines the affected person!" She turned to look at the boy. "It amazes me that he is able to withstand it." she continued softly. "A normal person would be dead." She turned to the Hokage and questioned earnestly: "Hokage-sama!"

"I'll quit!" came a voice, disrupting them. It was one of the Leaf nin that Anko didn't know.

"I believe I've seen him before. I think he quit last time as well." the Hokage observed.

"Anko." Ibiki prompted.

"Hai," she said, paging through her file. "Yakushi Kabuto ... according to our data, he has failed six times in a row."

"What about his personal history?"

"He didn't stand out in his academy years, and his grades were normal. He passed the graduation exam on his third try. He doesn't have any outstanding accomplishments." she paused, "But ..."

"But?" the Hokage prompted.

"He was brought back by a medical jonin after a battle at Kikyo Pass. He was a child of one of the enemy."

"So he's that boy?" Sarutobi said thoughtfully, remembering the incident.

Anko got a bad feeling about the boy, but it was more than that. She had been feeling uncomfortable the entire time, and her curse seal ached even though the Hokage had seen to it personally. She felt like _he_ was nearby, but tried to brush it off as paranoia.

"What Orochimaru said worries me a little," the Hokage admitted. "Let's let Sasuke continue, and watch him for now."

"Hokage-sama!" Anko protested.

"However, if his cursed seal opens up and his power becomes uncontrollable, stop him."

Anko wanted to argue, but stopped. "I understand." She could not go against the Hokage's orders, as much as she wanted to. As much as she wanted to take the boy and hide him from Orochimaru's clutches, it just wasn't possible. _He's marked him now. It's only a matter of time._

She could feel Kakashi tense a bit when the Uchiha was called as one of the first fighters. She tensed a bit herself, unsure of what was going to happen.

The fight was intense, and Anko was shocked and impressed when the boy successfully fought back the seal when it tried to take him over, and went on to win against his chakra-stealing opponent. _Powerful indeed, Orochimaru._ She felt better when she saw Kakashi take him away – to seal his curse seal, she presumed.

Orochimaru, disguised as the Sound jonin, watched as the Uchiha boy was lead away by the Copy Ninja. He was trembling in possessive desire after seeing the boy's power, even with the force of the seal paining and draining him. He licked his lips, _Wonderful ..._ He couldn't wait to have that body, to possess that power ... Because power was everything. His eyes flicked towards his old pupil who also had her eyes on the boy. He could still read her so easily, and to him her envy and pity were clearly visible as well as the reasons for both. He shrugged her off as unimportant, as he moved to follow his soon-to-be new student and vessel and the boy's current sensei.

The rest of the fights passed in a daze for Anko. She watched the two Hyuuga's and their extension of the inner family turmoil, the two Leaf kunoichi fight to a standstill, and the Kyuubi kid beat another Leaf nin. She was impressed by Uzumaki's determination, but he was too exuberant for her taste. People like that got too caught up in impossible dreams. _This world has no mercy for a child's dream._ She thought to herself, remembering her own distant dream. _I lived to prove myself to my sensei, to show him that I was worth his praise and attention. I wanted to be everything to him, like he was everything to me ..._ She laughed silently and cruelly at herself, _He turned out to be a sadistic killer and traitor, and I turned out to be a messed-up, bloodthirsty failure. What a joke life played on my dreams,_ she mocked herself.

She grimaced as pain shot through her. Despite the Hokage's help, it was increasing again. After the preliminary exams she would have to have it seen to.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When the attack from the Sound and Sand villages came, Anko was in one of the hospital rooms. The curse seal had increased its attacks on her body soon after the beginning of the final exam, and it was all she could do to stop it from causing her to pass out. She had thought that the seal was under control when it ceased paining her a few days after the end of the preliminaries, but it had come upon her suddenly again.

When a new pulse of pain wracked her body, she couldn't know it coincided with the snake Sannin revealing himself to his old sensei, the Hokage, after discarding his disguise as the Sand Kazekage. When she heard the screams and felt the rumbling in the ground, she couldn't know that it was because a massive three-headed snake had broken through the boundaries of the Hidden Village of Leaf, or that people of her village were being slaughtered as its shinobi struggled to respond to the surprise attack.

She couldn't know that her old sensei had barricaded himself in an impenetrable barrier with the man who had saved her sanity after he broke her – the Hokage. But as Orochimaru drew on his power to summon the spirits of the First and Second Hokage while Sarutobi thwarted his attempt to summon the Fourth, Anko screamed. The seal flared, trying to draw out all her chakra and force her to submit to its power. And when the Third managed to make Orochimaru's arms lifeless after drawing out a portion of his soul, she was affected through her link to him that was so much stronger than Uchiha Sasuke's seal which was so recent.

Anko was in a coma for a week, and woke to the carnage her old sensei had caused to her village. She was quietly informed of the Hokage's death at the hands of his old student, and all she could think was: _I should have known ... I know him! I could have done something if ..._

She didn't reveal her thoughts to anyone, not even Kakashi. He was too absorbed in trying to stop his student from turning to darkness and following Orochimaru.

As she lay in his arms the one night, she felt him take a deep breath and turn his head to look at her. She met his eyes, and knew what he wanted to ask her but didn't interrupt.

"Anko," the Copy Nin said quietly, "Can't you talk to him?" He sighed heavily, glancing away. "I feel like nothing I say has any affect on him. I can't reach him but ..." he looked back in her eyes, earnest, "maybe you can? Maybe you can tell him-"

"Tell him what, Kakashi?" she stopped him. "Tell him what a monster Orochimaru is? Tell him how he twists those he manages to draw into his trap, how he uses people as tools, and nothing more? How he kills with no regret?" She looked away, unable to meet his mismatched eyes. "Tell him how he poisons those he uses, so that even if they manage to escape they never really will ..." her voice faded into a painful whisper.

Kakashi touched her cheek softly, but it only reminded her of that time, when Orochimaru had caressed her while telling her she was no use to him any more. She turned back to look him in the eyes, moving her face away from his touch. "He knows these things, Kakashi! Orochimaru killed the Hokage, and nothing I could tell him would show him more than that how ruthless he is. Besides, I ..." she rolled away so that she didn't have to look at his expression when she revealed her pain to him for what was probably the first time. She didn't know how he would take the rest of her confession.

"I ... I hate him. I hate him for being the one Orochimaru wants now. Even after everything he did to me, to this village, I was _his_ for long enough to be twisted like this." She shook, but she held back her tears. She hadn't cried since the day that he left her. "I hate that boy, and I hate Orochimaru for making me into this ..."

Anko waited in silence for Kakashi to leave, but he didn't. He was still for a moment, and then he pulled her back to face him, and wrapped her in his arms. She clung to him tightly, as he was the only person who saw her weakness like this and did not think less of her for it. He ran his hands across her bare skin soothingly, before lifting her chin to kiss her deliberately and gently on the lips.

"You are not like him." he told her firmly, pulling her as close as possible and still running his hands over her. She ran her own hands through his hair and across his chest, before pulling his head down so that she could kiss him heatedly again and he responded quickly.

As Anko wrapped her legs around his waist, after allowing him to flip over and loom above her, she thought about how good they were at this – at allowing themselves to drown their memories and anguish in lust. They were so good at drowning themselves in lips, taste, skin, touch, and pleasure. For two shinobi to whom the appearance of strength was so important, it was only with each other that they could let down their uncaring masks. Kakashi, the Copy Nin, genius, prodigy, son of the White Fang. Anko, feared jonin of Konoha, prodigy in her own right, student of the traitor Sannin Orochimaru.

When Sasuke finally left for Orochimaru, leaving behind dangerously injured friends who had tried their best to get him back, Kakashi was in her arms all night. She thought he might blame her a little for not talking to the boy, but he said nothing and drowned himself in her body. He blamed himself for allowing his team to fall apart, for concentrating on the one student and teaching him such a dangerous technique such as Chidori that almost caused him to kill his teammate.

Anko thanked some god that Uzumaki had the Kyuubi and so didn't die. If the one teammate had left, and the other had died ... She didn't think all the comfort or sex in the world would make Kakashi forget even for a moment.

_Orochimaru ... how many lives must you destroy before you are satisfied?_


	3. Ch3: Memories

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Okay, here's the start of the Ocean Country arc ... bear with me people, there is original stuff coming up after about 3 chapters but I have to set the scene. Thanks for reading :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 3

**Memories**

...o..o.o..o...

_The ocean spread out before her, with a number of nearby islands seeming to float on its surface. Anko was younger, and smiling, staring at them in the distance from the edge of a wooden pier._

This is ..._ her younger self seemed to echo the older, _This is ... Where ... is this?

_A sudden gust of wind had her hiding her eyes, but the wind seemed to pass right through her as well. It was a foul wind that tore through her heart as she looked up to smile at the man next to her. He smiled back ... but who was he? She reached dimly for the memory but it faded away to a small enclosed space, where the light was being taken away by a closing door and the sound of a lock. _

_She was on her hands and knees in the darkness, with sweat pouring off her. There wasn't enough air – she panted and gasped at the pain shooting through her. She collapsed to the ground, knees curling in to her chest as she cried out in agony and betrayal. Thrashing on the hard cold ground, scratching at its surface as her shoulder throbbed with lines of fire that spread through her body and made her want to tear herself apart. She screamed, with _his_ laughter seeming to reverberate around her, through her, intensifying the pain that ate away at her flesh._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko sat up with a gasp, the sweat dripping from her seeming to mimic her younger self in the dream. The nightmare. Her eyes were wide as she panted, drawing air in to her lungs to reassure herself that she could still breathe – that she wasn't _there_. She grimaced, clutching her shoulder and the curse seal. _I'm not there I'm not there I'm not there ..._ She made it into a mantra to pull herself out of what she knew were fragmented memories of the time he stole from her. Lightning cracked outside the small room, and Anko knew it would be a long night.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Kaima soudo?" Anko repeated. She was standing in the Hokage's office, with Tsunade, the new Hokage, and her aide Shizune facing her.

"Kaima." Tsunade confirmed. "It's written as 'Sea' and 'Monster'. It seems to be dominating the seas right now."

Anko frowned slightly as she matched the Godaime's stare look for look. Her heart beat was suddenly too loud in her ears, with the dream from the previous night so fresh in her mind. The Hokage narrowed her eyes at her, her medic and shinobi training helping her to instantly read Anko's hesitation. "What's wrong?" she asked sternly, chin resting on her hands.

Her eyes narrowed further, with her hands moving up to hide her mouth so that she was peering at the jonin from above them. "You'll go, right?"

Anko was intimidated by this woman. She hated to admit it to herself, but she knew that this woman who had grown up on a team with Orochimaru would probably be able to read her better than anyone, including Kakashi. She couldn't help but jerk back a little at the Hokage's tone, which practically challenged her to refuse.

She collected herself firmly. "Of course." The aide, Shizune, was staring at her in concern but she kept her eyes on the Hokage.

"Shizune!" the woman said sharply.

Shizune jumped, looking back at Tsunade. "Yes!"

"Explain the mission."

Shizune nodded, and pulled down a map. She proceeded to tell Anko about the sea monster that was attacking ships carrying goods around the Ocean Country.

"Survivors claim they were attacked by a sea monster," Tsunade added.

"So our mission is to eliminate that monster thing?" asked Anko.

"Yeah, but there's more to it than that."

Shizune went on to explain the politics of the situation – how the money the Ocean Country paid to the Water Country for protection was on the ships, and to keep good relations the monster had to be stopped and the next shipment had to reach the shore. Anko considered the situation, understanding its delicacy immediately. She focussed on the problem, trying to block out thoughts of her nightmares.

"Your mission is to protect the next ship and eliminate the monster." Tsunade clarified. "Well, I'm ordering some subordinates and leaving the rest to you."

"Subordinates?!" Anko repeated. She wasn't used to working with anyone, and generally didn't like it anyway. But subordinates ... _Hmm, might be some fun in this for me ..._

A knock came on the door and three young genin entered. Anko looked at them curiously – _Seem familiar_ – and when the loud one in orange with bright yellow hair shouted and pointed at her she remembered that they had all participated in the chunin exam. _They all made it to the preliminaries. Interesting._

"The one from the chunin exams!" the Kyuubi brat squealed in alarm. "That really dangerous examiner!"

Anko grinned widely at him, a less-than-sane expression on her face as she remembered his blood. "Oh, you're saying some pretty nostalgic things there." Teasing the boy was a welcome distraction from her thoughts.

"Mi-Mitarashi ... Anko-sensei ...?" the blond girl said in surprise.

"Um, why are you here?" Naruto asked fearfully. _Is she still after my ... blood?_ he gulped to himself.

"I will now give you your mission!" the Hokage interrupted authoritatively. "Aburame Shino! Yamanaka Ino! Uzumaki Naruto! The three of you will follow Mitarashi Anko's leadership to complete this mission."

Tsunade made some comments about the choice being the right combination for the mission at hand, but neither Anko nor Shizune believed it. After Orochimaru's attack with Sand the village was very short-handed and yet could not refuse missions for fear of being seen as weak. _Kakashi's barely been around these days. As soon as he gets back from one mission, he gets sent out on another. I'm starting to miss the lazy bastard ... _Anko knew she would not normally have been trusted with genin or with a mission to Ocean Country if there were anyone else.

"Use your individual talents to the fullest to complete this mission!" she concluded.

"Hai!" jonin and genin answered attentively.

"But something seems off here," Naruto interrupted Tsunade's self-congratulatory smirk at her attempt to convince them that they were not called together because there was no one else.

Tsunade sweat-dropped (_Damn Naruto_), but Anko intervened. "Yeah, yeah, no complaining once the mission's been decided!" she said sternly, grabbing Naruto's ear and yanking it firmly. "Ow, ow, ow, ow! I got it!" he yelped.

"Well, we'll be leaving soon," Anko smiled, "Make your preparations and meet at the West gate!"

"Understood!" said the other two genin, while the Kyuubi boy rubbed his ear and grumbled. They all left swiftly, leaving the older three women behind. Anko moved to follow.

"Anko!" Tsunade's voice stopped her, but she said nothing. "Be careful."

Anko stood still for a moment longer, her back to the other two, before reaching for the door and leaving.

"Hai."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

At the west gate, the genin were debating about the monster, and its supposed characteristics. The Aburame boy seemed to think it was pirates, and Anko was inclined to agree but-

"Well, we need to investigate it first," she said to them cheerfully. The blond girl, Ino, nodded agreement. "The middle of Ocean Country is Hahajima, the largest island." Anko informed them. "We'll go to the nearest port and cross by boat from there."

"Understood!" the three said in unison. "Let's head out to the Ocean Country!" the boy, Naruto, proclaimed exuberantly. Anko just smiled at his enthusiasm before they all set off.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Back in the Hokage's Tower, Shizune set down some green tea for the Godaime. Tsunade looked at it sideways, wishing it was sake. She knew Shizune wanted to ask her about Anko, and waited for her to speak. She would have been a fool to have missed the tension around Anko at the mention of the Ocean Country, and Shizune was no fool.

"Um, Tsunade-sama," she began, "About Mitarashi Anko ... Did something happen before?"

"Sort of." Tsunade replied, taking a sip of the tea.

Shizune picked up Anko's file that lay on the desk and glanced through it. "Her mission log from age ten is pretty scattered," she said, surprised.

"Anko worked with Orochimaru, after all." Tsunade said in explanation.

"So the blacked out parts have connections to Orochimaru's actions." Shizune mused, "So maybe in the secret files ... There are also blacked out pages."

"That means that there are points that have no records," Tsunade told her aide calmly.

"No records?! Even though Anko is still in the village?" She didn't understand how they could not have records when Anko was around to fill them in.

Tsunade rested her head against the back of the chair and sighed. "That Orochimaru ... He probably didn't want to be tracked. He left the village and erased part of Anko's memory."

Tsunade turned and stared out at the village through her window. Orochimaru ... Everything always seemed to come back to him. She knew Shizune was questioning Anko's reliability, but the Sandaime had vouched for Anko and she would not deny the dead man's wish that she be treated with all trust and respect. Though, from her reactions to going back to the place where it all ended for her with Orochimaru, Tsunade had to wonder ...

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"It's salty!" Naruto exclaimed happily as they stood on a hill with clear view of the sea. The sea breeze was definitely salty, and cool and refreshing. It was obvious that the boy had never been to this part of the country before.

"Since we've come this far, the Ocean Country should be visible," Anko said to them.

"Then that's Hahajima, right?" Ino replied, pointing towards the largest of the distant islands.

Anko looked out from the cliff top towards the islands, and suddenly it was as if the cold wind from her dream was blowing through her soul again. She couldn't feel the warmth of the sun, and stared out in horror, flashes of a strange gate crossing her mind. The seal pulsed fire into her flesh, and she was caught up in a memory of running with not enough breath, panic choking her, terror clouding her vision as she looked behind her to see the snakes closing in. There was that gate ... and a dark cold corridor, and a room filled with bottled horrors that made her feel sick and dead inside.

Anko put her hand over her mouth, battling to breathe over the remembered fear. _What ... what is this feeling?_ She felt the Aburame boy looking at her and pulled herself together, unwilling to let anyone see her weakness.

"Everyone," she said, her voice slightly strained, "I'm sorry but I'll leave you to organise the boat. I have to deal with my own matters – I'll catch up later. Bye!" She was gone before they could protest.

Anko stopped when she felt she was far enough away from them in the forest, and clutched her neck, sweating with the strain of her memories and its force on her body. _The seal is throbbing. This presence ... there's no mistaking it!_ She glanced around to try find the direction it called from the strongest. _This way!_

She raced towards a lighter patch in the woods, and came to another cliff edge with a clear view of the sea and the Ocean Country's islands. She looked down, and saw a pier far below that caused her heartbeat to increase in pace and volume. She was overcome by memories again ...

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko laughed lightly as they stood at the end of the pier, looking out at the sea, "I can see it clearly. Let's see, that's Hahajima, this is Tarojima and that's Jirojima." She pointed them all out happily, "And that's ... Kikaijima!"_

"_It seems like you have done your research," his cold voice replied, but it made her feel warm and happy hearing him._

_She smiled, looking up at him admiringly: "I want to be a strong and informed shinobi like you, Orochimaru-sama." She offered him her life with her eyes._

_He turned and smiled down at her, taking what she offered and more._

...o..o.o..o...

The wind blew through Anko again, but it blew away her fragment of memory and didn't reveal any more. The force of the memory had hit her so hard. This was the place she had dreamt of ... this was the place where her path and that of her old sensei had parted. She had a feeling that terrible things happened here, but couldn't remember any more for the moment. Anko continued to stare out at the islands, lost in her thoughts.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When Anko arrived back to the genin, they were arguing amongst themselves but more out of habit than true irritation.

"You are so like sensei!" the Yamanaka girl scolded Naruto. "Both of you just go and disappear!"

"What did you say?!" Naruto shouted at her angrily, "How rude of you! How dare you compare me to that aggressive teacher?! What an insult to-"

Anko smirked to herself as she came up behind the boy quietly, stopping his tirade with a kunai to his throat. "Who?" she licked her lips, adding to his discomfort and drinking in his fear.

"I'm sorry!" he gasped.

Anko pulled the kunai away from his throat, and smiled at the other two. "Well done with preparing the boat."

"Sensei, what have you been up to?" Ino asked her.

"Well, I guess some information gathering," she told them. Naruto slumped in her hold, relieved she hadn't drawn his blood again. She grinned widely at them. "Well, let's head off!"

The first part of the boat trip was uneventful, with Anko having to chuckle at the interactions between Ino and Naruto. The Aburame boy said little, but Anko knew that it was characteristic of those of his clan.

The attack on their boat came suddenly, with a whirlpool attempting to draw them in and drown them. Anko had been keeping an eye out, expecting something to happen, but still had been caught a little by surprise.

She used the Shadow Snake Hand to try pull Ino back when she was grabbed by a long tentacle that burst out of the water, but ended up having to dive in the water after the girl when she disappeared under the waves. She stood on the surface of the water with Ino in her arms, glaring around her. "It's finally come out." she observed.

The boat was pulled in to the whirlpool, with the watching shinobi standing on the ocean surface. "Both of you be careful," Anko warned the two boys. "We are still targeted from underwater."

She watched with interest as the Kyuubi boy used a summoning technique, but the small toad that appeared was not worth her attention with enemies around so she ignored their banter. _So the Toad Sannin taught him to summon as well ..._ She frowned suddenly, and passed Ino on to Shino.

She ran swiftly across the water surface, allowing an emerging tentacle to wrap around her waist before countering. _Fire element, Fire Dragon Technique!_ She blew an enormous flame that followed the tentacle into the water. She saw a silhouette in the flames, that dissolved into water. _Water clone? _Another tentacle wrapped itself around her neck as a shinobi came up behind her. The tentacle was actually the man's arm. "You let your guard down!" he laughed at her, but he was beaten off in a moment when Naruto came to her aid.

The boy was pulled in to the water by another shinobi. Anko dived down, searching frantically for him. _Where did he go? Damn it! It's too still._ She emerged next to Ino and Shino, to see the two enemy shinobi standing on the water next to where Naruto was floating, face-down.

"Who are you guys?" she growled.

The shinobi responded by using a water attack which sucked Naruto's body back underwater, and then disappearing. Anko dived into the water again, trying to find him.

Minutes later, Anko emerged from the water again, still unable to find the boy. A veil of fog had fallen across the ocean surface, making her search that much harder.

"Where's Naruto?" Shino asked.

"It's no use," Anko replied, "I can't find him. He doesn't seem to be around here any more. He either got swept away or escaped." She got back on the boat they had managed to retrieve. "Either way, in this fog ..." she looked down at the still-unconscious Ino, "we can't afford to stay here any more. In the meantime let's head for the nearest island and try again later."

"Okay." Shino replied shortly.

Anko's seal chose that moment to throb piercingly again. She couldn't help but tense at the pain, and hold her shoulder. It was like that last time ... she felt like he was close ...

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The room was dark, with only a candle to provide some faint light, though it seemed to spread the shadows more than chase them away, and leant to the oppressive feeling in the room. The man knelt before an ornate chair, bowing his head to the being that sat there.

"It's been a while, Orochimaru-sama." he said respectfully.

"It really has." his cold, slithering voice replied. "I didn't think you would still be here when I got back on my feet and had a good look around."

"But thanks to that, I was able to see you again," the kneeling man said ingratiatingly.

Orochimaru chuckled darkly. "So, if you're here, does that mean that you're continuing with that research?"

He feigned surprise at the question. "Yes. I thought it might be of some use for you someday, Orochimaru-sama."

"I wonder if that's true," Orochimaru hissed from behind his bandaged face, the glint from one gold eye visible. He could easily see past the man's charade.

"This is all out of my loyalty to you," the man tried to protest.

Orochimaru closed his eyes, showing his disinterest. "Well, do as you wish."

"You have my gratitude." He looked up, motioning towards the dark figure that stood at the Sannin's side, "By the way, is he the one you mentioned before?"

"Yes. He's Uchiha Itachi's little brother." the snake took delight in saying the man's name, because he loved the tension and hatred it invoked in his pet traitor. "Yes, and my -"

"Unnecessary things like that," the boy interrupted, his voice just as cold as his master's, "Don't talk about them." He opened his eyes to reveal bloodshot Sharingan. Orochimaru watched him from the corner of his eye, smiling at the monster he had created and ignoring his insubordination.

His other servant gasped at the glimpse of those blood-coloured eyes, at how he had ordered the great Sannin, and then dropped his head reverently.

Orochimaru laughed, filling the already cold dark room with his darker presence, and unknowingly causing the seal which his old student possessed to flare in response. He found the boy so amusing ... and he was his.


	4. Ch4: Revelations

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

I know I'm going to regret updating so early later on, but oh well - really, I won't always be this quick, just I'm going to have at least two weeks where there won't be any so this hopefully will make up for then (I'll be working and won't have internet access). This chapter is dedicated to BloodRedShadows - thanks again for the awesome reviews :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 4

**Revelations**

When morning finally arrived, Naruto still had not turned up. Anko was slightly concerned, but thought that it would take more to kill the Kyuubi boy than a little drowning.

Anko checked in with the local authorities to see if Naruto had been found, and also to check about the payment. To her surprise and consternation, the payment time had been moved up to the following morning. _Damn, we need to look for Naruto, and investigate that sea monster ... ahh, it can't be helped._ "Understood," she replied to the officer in charge, "But we would like some time to investigate and search for our comrade." The man nodded, and they made plans to meet the ship the following morning.

"Please get rid of the Kaima for the sake of our country!" he said finally, bowing to them.

"Understood." Anko replied, determination in her eyes.

While she sent the genin to look for Naruto, Anko was drawn to a cliff edge that looked out at a distant island. She stared at it intently. _There ... is he there? Is that where _it_ happened? Why can't I remember ..._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Back in Konoha, Tsunade was staring dispiritedly at a file in front of her, and trying not to see the numerous piles of paper on her desk that silently demanded her attention.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune interrupted her.

"Huh?"

"Here are the papers you requested." Shizune noticed the file Tsunade was going through. "And that's the Ocean Country's ... are you bothered about it after all?"

"Well, yeah." she replied. "That is the place where Anko was found after she was abandoned by Orochimaru. The ANBU found her alone on the beach, terrified." she sighed. "I was with Sarutobi-sensei when she was questioned.

...o..o.o..o...

"_It's no use ... I can't remember," the traumatised child struggled with herself among a ring of symbols and seals. "I should have remembered ... it's dark and cold ..." The girl started to cry. "I've always been in pain. But ..."_

"_Calm down," the medic told her. "Let's take more time."_

_Anko didn't seem to hear him. "This mark," she grabbed her neck, "It must have been placed on me there ..." she sobbed again._

"_The situation looks grim," the medic said to the Hokage, "It looks like most of her memory has ..."_

_The old man put his hand on the girl's shoulder, calming her anguish. He knelt next to her. "It's okay. Seems like you have a lot of painful memories," he said to her kindly, smiling gently. "You're okay now. First we need to treat your problems while you're within the confinement seal."_

"_Hokage-sama, I ..." she whimpered, rubbing the tears from her eyes._

...o..o.o..o...

"Her memories did not return after all, and many of them are still missing." Tsunade finished.

"I see," replied Shizune. "Well then, this will be her first mission to the Ocean Country since then?"

"Yeah, that's right. It would be good if it leads to her finding her memory."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

It was dusk by the time Anko, Ino and Shino had caught up to the girl who was their only lead. She had been the only person of the many that had disappeared, or been spirited away, to return. From what the villagers said, they suspected people had been taken to the island Kikaijima. They eventually found her walking along a beach by one of the many coves. They had still not found Naruto.

They watched the girl carefully from the trees, and followed her stealthily through a crack in the rock which lead to a portion of the sea that was entirely enclosed by rock cliffs except for a small opening to the ocean.

The girl stepped into the water, and transformed, shedding her bandages reveal green scales and fins. She bared her teeth at them when Ino exclaimed at her appearance, revealing their presence. "Don't tell me you are the Kaima!" She dived in the water away from them.

Anko stood, stunned for a moment. She remembered that girl, she remembered her floating in a tank ... "What?!" Her seal throbbed harder than it had before, causing her vision to blur as she cried out and dug her nails in the flesh around it. She barely noticed the children running after the Kaima, and saw another time, another place.

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko stared in shock at the contents of the tank before her. The room was dark, with a sickly green light emanating from the water. Inside, floated a girl ... but she didn't look like a normal girl. Her hair was so long ... it rippled around her slender body and only seemed to accentuate her strange green scaled skin and the fins on her hands and feet, along her arms and legs. She looked so helpless, so alone ... The aura around her seemed so _twisted_, so_ wrong

_Orochimaru-sama," she said quietly to her sensei who stood at her side, "What's this?"_

"_Because you are special, I'll tell you," he replied, "This is one of my jutsu invention rooms." The green light shone from a number of tanks around them, each one holding what had been a normal human being. Each one now holding a monstrosity. Orochimaru stared at the tank with clinical interest, like he was looking at some _thing_ rather than a human being. "I thought I would have you help me."_

_Anko turned to her sensei, unable to hide her anxiety, "But, if the village finds out ..."_

_She was cut off by her sensei, who rested his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "This isn't going very well," he ignored the question, "But there is only one step left. It's foolish, isn't it. What's truly frightening is neglecting one's inquisitive mind." He caressed her face gently._

_Anko turned back to the tank, staring at the floating girl who seemed so much younger than her. Her sensei's touch always reassured her, but it just didn't seem to do as much this time. His praise for her made her soul fly while at the same time it burned from seeing this ... this _experiment_ that was so obviously wrong. She started to struggle with herself for the first time, because part of her that was used to following her master blindly wanted to crush the part of her that felt this fear that she didn't know him so well, and that she was wrong to hand him her trust so. _Will he look at me like he looked at her?_ she couldn't stop the thought from gripping her._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko was brought roughly back to the present. "That kid ... Could it be?"

Ino meanwhile had cleverly blocked the passage that would have allowed the girl-monster to get out to sea using an exploding tag latched on to a kunai, and Shino managed to entangle her in ninja wires. The situation was complicated when Naruto finally arrived and stopped them from being rough with her and she escaped from the wires.

Anko moved next to them when one of the enemy shinobis appeared next to the Kaima. She was panting hard, hand on her seal, but she felt she had to protect the genin. When the man started a new jutsu to disappear with the girl, Anko had to stop Naruto from following.

"Don't get too close!" she shouted at him, "It's the same as yesterday's whirlpool!" They were forced to watch them escape, much to the Kyuubi boy's frustration. "I am sure," Anko forced out, "that girl is ..." She gasped with a harsh intake of breath, the seal flaring with agonising pain. She fell to her knees on the water, the feeling too much for her to resist.

"Sensei!" Ino cried in alarm, dropping down next to her.

Anko collapsed on to the water, and passed out.

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko was back in her memory, in that room and staring at the floating girl. She had a feeling that she did this often, unable to stop herself from coming. She was fascinated, frightened, and horrified at the same time._

_She was on a bed, in her room, with scrolls of various types littering the floor. She huddled against the wall, clutching her legs to her body and pulling in on herself as much as possible. The vision of the girl never left her, and she felt more and more conflicted as time went by. _

_She was in a kitchen, cleaning various glasses and dishes from one of the experiments. Suddenly she dropped a small bowl, and it shattered into pieces on the floor, much to her dismay. She hoped desperately her sensei would not see – he would think she was a terrible shinobi to do such a clumsy thing. But it was more than that – he would know something was disturbing her._

_Sure enough, the voice came from behind her. "What's wrong?"_

_Anko looked back at him nervously, "I'm sorry, my hand slipped."_

"_I see." His eyes narrowed and his frown deepened as he noticed her new stronger fear for him. Her eyes slipped away from his, unable to meet his gaze._

_She stood up, the broken fragments in her hands. "I'll clean this up right away," she told her sensei._

"_Anko." he stopped her with that one word as she started to walk quickly away._

"_Hai?"_

"_Hokage-sama already knows about the research being conducted here."_

_Anko looked at the floor, unable to quell the sudden certainty that he was lying to her. "Understood." She left the room._

_Orochimaru stood staring silently after her for a moment, before frowning harshly and turning away._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko woke to the voices of the three genin. They were discussing where to start looking for the girl Kaima, Isaribi, or whether they should look for her at all because the ship with the payment was leaving in the morning.

"From what I've heard, this country has an island that is the centre of where those who were spirited away disappeared." said Shino.

"Where is it?" Naruto asked.

"The uninhabited island where the Kaima is said to live, Kikaijima." Anko replied suddenly.

Naruto turned to her, earnest and serious. "Kikaijima?"

"Sensei, are you alright?" Ino asked her, concerned.

"Yeah, but more importantly there is something I must tell you about the Kaima. The Kaima is merely a human who underwent physical transmutation."

The three stared at her in shock. "What?!" exclaimed Naruto. "What does that mean?!"

"The series of disappearances that occurred in the Ocean Country ten years ago ... that wasn't the work of a monster. At that time, Orochimaru was kidnapping people for his experiments."

"Orochimaru!" the Kyuubi boy growled, fury in his eyes. "So Orochimaru's related to this mission?" he leaned forward, thinking of all the wrong that the snake Sannin had committed and eager to repay some of it.

"Hang on a second," the blond kunoichi interrupted, "Orochimaru? Experiments? Why are you telling us this all of a sudden?"

Anko had known she would have to tell them. She didn't like revealing her past to the young generation who would otherwise not know, because she hated _those_ looks. But she ignored her slight hesitation. _They need to know some of it, at least ... I won't tell them about me unless they ask_. "I need to tell you guys the reason why Orochimaru left the village."

The genin looked at her attentively. Orochimaru was rarely discussed in Konoha unless it was in connection to a mission, and his past was never discussed especially in front of the younger generations.

"About ten years ago, Orochimaru was conducting experiments to increase his power. In his quest for power, he went beyond the limits of a shinobi. And finally, he delved into research for techniques referred to as kinjutsu (forbidden techniques). Of course, the village eventually found out about it, but he had developed contacts while on missions, and he had several facilities outside Konoha."

"So, one of those facilities is on Kikaijima." Shino said quietly.

"What happened to the missing people?" Ino asked. Her innocence was mirrored in her eyes, and Anko almost couldn't bear to tell her.

"They were used in human experiments." the Aburame boy told her.

"That damn Orochimaru!" growled Naruto, "What does he think people are?! We have to sneak into the hideout and get Isaribi nee-chan back!"

Anko stood, the reactions of the genin pleasing her, especially Naruto's determination to help the Kaima girl. Anko also felt a sense of responsibility for the situation. _I watched, and I did nothing to stop it._

"That's right, we're going to strike the Kaima's hideout now!" she agreed.

The team set off, and when they were halfway to the island with Naruto at the oars, Ino spoke up. Anko had seen that the girl had been mulling over what she'd told them and was expecting the questions.

"Sensei, when did you figure out the truth about Kikaijima?"

Anko looked away from the girl, out at the sea. She didn't want to see their reactions. "It's because Orochimaru was the jonin I trained under." Sure enough, they all stared at her, startled. Anko closed her eyes, closing them out. "Call me when we get close to the island." The seal chose that moment to pulse, and Anko gritted her teeth at the feeling. _The pain is getting stronger!_

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

In a dark room a short distance away, Orochimaru lifted his head. _I know this feeling ... what are you doing here, Anko?_

"Someone's coming." he informed them.

"What shall we do?"

"Do as you like," Orochimaru replied, uncaring. The other man nodded and left, but he could not hide his sneer from the Sannin.

Orochimaru chuckled. _That subordinate is becoming troublesome. Perhaps I should thank you for coming to clean up this mess for me, Anko. You still have some use. _The Sannin stood. "We are leaving, Sasuke-kun." he purred at his new student. The Uchiha made no reply, but followed his master from the room.

_I would stay and greet you, but I have far more important business to attend to._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

They reached the island that was the source of Anko's nightmares all too quickly for her liking. At the same time, if Orochimaru was there like her seal was making her think he was, she wanted to face him. _And kill him._

"This way," she said to the genin. She didn't bother to question herself on how she knew which was the way to go, but followed her instinctual memory.

"Hurry up!" Ino called to the two boys, leaping after Anko.

They reached the cave entrance that lead to Orochimaru's underground facilities, and Shino sent his kikai bugs to see if there were sentries.

"How does it look Shino?" Naruto asked him quietly. They were all crouched behind foliage a good distance away.

"It's fine." the boy replied.

They entered the tunnels, moving cautiously down a series of steps with Naruto taking the lead, and Anko bringing up the rear. The place was cold, and got colder the deeper they went but it wasn't only that that gave Anko the chills. It all tugged viciously at her memory but mostly remained obscure though familiar.

When they entered the room that most of her dreams were centred on, Anko almost forgot to breathe. The tanks, the dank green light – it was all like a dream. No, a nightmare. But she stayed out of sight, sensing another presence in the room.

Sure enough, the genin disappeared through a trap door in the floor, and the Kaima girl, Isaribi, walked out from a corner. Anko was behind her instantly, with a kunai to the girl's throat.

"Don't move." she said. "Too bad for you, underestimating Konoha shinobi."

The girl smiled, and moved her head forward so that her neck was sliced. Anko pulled back, not wanting to hurt her, and Isaribi took the opportunity to flip Anko away, towards the largest tank.

"Brat!" she growled, throwing a series of kunai which thudded into the door the girl closed and locked behind her. _Damn it, Anko!_ she hissed at herself, _How could you let her pull that on you!_

A section of the wall started to rise, revealing first three pairs of glowing blood-red eyes, and then the three monsters. They were mixtures between giant lions and serpents, all three hissing and growling viciously as they advanced on her.

"My, my, what adorable kitties," Anko smiled, holding up a kunai. She brought the weapon to her lips, and ran her tongue across the edge. _Hmm, sharp enough for this,_ she smirked. _Now I get to have some fun!_

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When Anko left the room, the three monsters were lying sprawled across the floor among blood, pieces, and broken glass. Anko had taken great delight in causing as much destruction to the room as possible, but as much fun as it had been she was tired and the constant burning of the seal was wearing her out. The remains of the various experiments, hideous half-human creations that had died or been killed and were merely kept for study, lay strewn across the floor. It was like some bizarre slaughterhouse.

She walked slowly down the corridor, trying to catch her breath and control. She didn't really even watch where she was going, but allowed her unconscious memory and throbbing seal to lead the way. The further she got, the more the seal burned but she wouldn't let it stop her. She leaned against the wall, and saw the door ahead. _Almost ... there ..._

Anko pushed it open carefully, looking around the frame at the room and ready to react to anything. In the dimness, she could make out a man seated in a throne-like chair, with another smaller person standing at his side. _Is this ... I found him!_ She thought triumphantly.

She walked towards the chair confidently, ready to face her old sensei. But as she got closer, she realised her mistake. It wasn't Orochimaru, but then ...

"Who's there?" she asked.

The man stood, and walked towards her. When he emerged from the shadows, he smirked at her darkly. "Welcome! No, perhaps I should say 'long time no see' instead."

His face evoked the memory of her time here again, standing in front of the tank with Orochimaru and ... that man ...

"You're ... Amachi!" the name came to her suddenly.

"I'm surprised," he said, "I never thought you'd come back here after what happened before."

"What are you talking about?" Anko replied coldly.

"You don't remember?" he taunted her.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested in you. Where is Orochimaru?" she demanded.

Amachi feigned surprise. "Orochimaru?"

"Don't fool around." Anko growled viciously, "He's here, isn't he?" She grimaced and grabbed her seal again. The pains were so fierce ... _He has to be here!_

Amachi shrugged. "Even though the person who made the seal isn't here, the seal is reacting. Such things happen. Yeah, Orochimaru was here about half a month ago."

"No way." Anko denied softly.

"Well, I don't care if you believe me or not," Amachi replied.

"So you're saying the seal has been reacting to Orochimaru even though he isn't here?" asked Anko incredulously. Her eyes widened as she recognised the presence of the genin before Naruto ran up to her side. _How much did they hear?_

"Sensei!" Ino said, relieved that they had reached her.

"Oh wow, now you're leading genin." Amachi said sarcastically, "Anko you sure have become great."

"Who is this guy?" Naruto growled at her side.

"Amachi." Anko replied. "He's a medical ninja who teamed up with Orochimaru to conduct experiments here. Orochimaru wasn't here for these last incidents, he was the mastermind behind it all this time."

Amachi merely smiled at them, seeming unconcerned with the growing anger arising from the blond genin. "This bastard ..." Naruto said angrily, "Hey you bastard! How dare you do such ridiculous experiments?!"

"Ridiculous?" Amachi replied, angry at the insult to his work. "It's not a joke. I have spent my entire life working on this research." He turned and pointed to Isaribi who was standing behind him. "Look! This is a model that has the ability to live underwater. She can breathe underwater, swim quickly and has great physical stamina. This is a dream that took years to achieve. This is the first step to creating a specialised underwater ninja army!" He rambled on, as if she was some product he was trying to market rather than a human being.

"A specialised underwater ninja army?!" Ino repeated incredulously.

"That's right," he said proudly, "An army that can move easily underwater like no jonin ever could! When this finally happens, I will control all the sea routes with my army. Amazing, isn't it?!" His enthusiasm was bordering on insanity. "I will stand amongst the world's greatest people, and I will definitely make Orochimaru regret abandoning this research!"

"People are not your tools!" Naruto told him vehemently.

"Oh my," Amachi said, seemingly discouraged by the lack of enthusiastic response to his speech, "Even though you are young, you can't understand how fantastic this research is. Well, I don't care if people like you don't understand."

"You bastard!" Naruto shouted furiously. He ran at the scientist, ready to smash his fist into his face, but Isaribi moved swiftly in between. "Move nee-chan!" Naruto said to her urgently.

"No!" she shouted at him.

"Why are you protecting a jerk like him?" Naruto asked. He was desperate to understand, because he believed Isaribi to be a good person, and once someone had Naruto's trust he would do anything to help and understand them. It was something Anko was coming to understand about the boy – his unwavering belief in the goodness of human nature. "Listen, he turned you into ..."

"Stop!" the girl cried. She lowered her head sadly. "I have no choice. This person is the only one who can return my body to normal! He promised me!" The pain in her voice almost tore Anko's heart. The girl removed her bandages, showing them all but Naruto in particular the scales that covered parts of her body even in her 'human' form.

"Nee-chan ..." Naruto said softly, affected by her pain as well.

"People judge others based on appearance," Isaribi told him quietly. "People don't even come near me because of my bandages, how would they be if they saw me as this monster? I want to go back to my original body! I want to be human! I decided I would do anything for that cause!"

"But even now you are a great person," Naruto said earnestly. "Working with those guys to sink ships is what a monster would do!"

The girl started crying and screaming, holding her hands tightly over her ears. She knew what Naruto was saying was the truth, but didn't want to hear or believe it. She knew it in her heart, but couldn't face it. "Stop tormenting me!"

"That's not it." Naruto told her, "I am the same as you!" The anguish on his face was plain to read. Anko knew he was referring to the Kyuubi, and felt her heart reach out to him. _He does understand better than she knows, but she won't believe him now and I will not tell her the truth in front of these other genin – it is something Naruto can tell them when he is ready._

"That's a lie!" she cried at him. "You're a normal human! I want to be like you!" Naruto watched her sadly as she fell to her knees, but said no more. He couldn't tell her anything else without giving out his secret to all of them.

"Don't cry Isaribi," Amachi said slyly, coming up behind her. "I'll turn you back to normal."

Anko felt herself seriously doubting that claim, but suddenly she turned, sensing something coming their way. She leaped and knocked Ino to the ground, knowing that she was closest to the threat and that Naruto was more likely of the two to be able to take care of himself. "Look out!" she cried, just as the wall near Ino burst in with stone flying past.

Another shinobi appeared in the hole where the wall had been. "I was right to use explosives," he smiled calmly. "Isaribi held their attention for me."

As the dust settled, Naruto moved sluggishly. Ino looked anxiously at Anko who was unconscious on top of her. "Sensei!" she cried.

The two genin worked together to defeat the shinobi, with Ino using her mind-manipulation techniques, as Amachi and Isaribi escaped, but when the ceiling started to shake and crumble, Ino tried to help Anko to stand.

"They're trying to erase the evidence," she managed to force out, concious again. Naruto took her other arm, and Shino appeared running having defeated another shinobi moments before.

"Hurry up!" he called, "The entrance is already gone."


	5. Ch5: The Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 5

**The Truth**

The Konoha shinobi ran swiftly through the passages of the underground facility as they crumbled around them. "Damn! The exit has collapsed!" Naruto cursed as they came to a dead end where the ceiling had caved in.

"If it's going to be like that, I'll use my Rasengan and-" Naruto began, stepping forward.

"Wait!" Ino stopped him. "If you mess up, you'll make the ceiling collapse!"

"Then what should we do?" he asked her.

"Everyone, stand back!" Anko said authoritatively. She bit her thumb and summoned an enormous snake. They climbed in its mouth at her urging, and the creature turned to burrow through the rock to deposit them safely at the surface.

"We're saved," Naruto sighed, as they stepped back on to firm ground at the edge of the ocean.

"Anko-sensei?!" Ino cried, and the genin turned to see her clutching her shoulder in pain.

"This isn't the time to sit around." she said, ignoring their concern and her own pain. "It's already dawn."

They looked at her, alarmed as they realised what that meant. "The convoy is in danger!"

"We have to go after them now!" Naruto exclaimed. He turned and pointed to a boat floating at the nearby shore. "Let's use that!"

"Alright, let's go!" Anko agreed.

But when they reached the harbour, the ships had already left. The ninja realised that they must have already set sail, and changed course to try to catch up to the ships before it was too late.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The convoy was already in trouble when they caught up to it. A number of ships were damaged, and the crews were in the water under attack from one of Amachi's henchmen. Anko nodded to Shino for him to deal with the man – it was the same one he had been battling before – and headed to the main ship to face Amachi herself. Ino used the distraction Shino provided to try help the crew members climb on to the boat.

"You shouldn't do such evil things," Anko called down to Amachi. He looked up in surprise to see her standing by the prow of the lead ship. "We meet again, pervert! Sorry, but I still have a few things to ask you."

Naruto came at that moment to try persuade Isaribi to stop helping the men, and she knocked him off the boat into the water. Amachi made to follow them, but Anko leapt to land in a relaxed crouch on the rail in front of him.

"Your opponent is over here," she smirked as he backed away a step. "You said that Orochimaru left that research facility half a month ago, didn't you?" She tilted her head slightly, eyes narrowing. "Just where was he headed off to?"

"Who knows?" Amachi shrugged lightly. "Come to think of it, he had a child with him. That child was pretty great, unlike you."

Anko stared at him blankly. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"I wonder what you were missing to be thrown away like that?" Amachi said slyly, taunting her.

Anko stared for a moment longer, then went at him with her kunai. After a few moments of sparing, Anko laughed. "For a medical ninja, you're pretty good!" She was enjoying the fighting, because it let her forget the sly man's words. She wouldn't let them affect her ... _not now._

"Stop joking around," he growled, looking aside quickly to see how his creation was faring. He didn't want her to let the boy's words stop her.

"For you to be looking away," Anko smirked, "you must be pretty relaxed." She knew he was worried about Naruto stopping Isaribi from following his commands. _That boy ... if anyone can make her see what is right and wrong, it is him._

Amachi threw his weapons at her, and then a bottle of liquid. Anko deflected the weapons and shattered the glass, and was enveloped in a cloud of foul-smelling gas. "D-Damn it!" she cursed, feeling the medicine entering her lungs and causing black mist to cross her vision. She couldn't help falling to the deck, unconscious.

"I'm just confident in myself," Amachi said smugly. He leapt away to deal with Naruto and Isaribi, and Anko could do nothing to stop him.

When Anko woke a few minutes later, it was to see Naruto being held inside a giant bubble of water that seemed to be some strange creature, slowly suffocating. _Damn, I ache all over ... fucking medic nin, I'll get him back for that trickery!_

"Naruto ..." she gasped, and then leapt towards the bubble with a kunai in each hand, but merely was bounced back from the surface of the water creature. She landed back on the deck. "Damn."

"You fool! You think that would work?" the voice came. It sounded like Amachi but ... _So he's a monster too? He experimented on himself?_ The man was now a green creature, with fins and gills like Isaribi but even more alien with huge red eyes.

He turned to Isaribi. "I'm the only one who can save you," He continued to try to convince the girl that he would make her human to get her obedience, but Naruto had got through to her. She raised her fists to fight the man who can changed her into a monster, who had used her.

Anko felt the sudden spike in abnormal chakra. "What ...?" she looked at Naruto, only to see him blast his way out of the bubble with sheer force of dark red chakra. The boy crouched on the ocean surface, with whisker marks deep and pronounced, fingers like claws, fangs and slit red eyes. _Kyuubi ... _ Anko thought in amazement. _That boy ... He has harnessed the demon's chakra? Amazing._

"Naruto?" Isaribi said hesitantly.

"He's the same as you." Anko came up behind the girl, who had transformed back into her mostly-human state.

"The same as me?" she asked softly.

"Yes." Anko replied. "Sealed within Naruto is the Kyuubi that used to attack villagers. And there was a period of time when he was called a monster." Anko remembered it, and knew it still went on. The villagers and many shinobi blamed Naruto for their loses during the Kyuubi attack. _Damn fools ... he is only a boy. I know that now more than ever, though I never doubted it._ She knew what it was like to be shunned, and had always felt for him.

Anko turned away to watch the boy. "And even so, he did his best to get everyone to acknowledge him." _Those damn pranks he would pull ... and look at him now._ Red chakra flames surrounded Naruto, and Anko knew if the villagers saw him now they would be more sure than ever that he was a demon. But Anko knew – the incident with Isaribi proved – that Naruto was no demon. He was merely a boy, a shinobi, who cared about those around him.

A similar line of thought occupied Isaribi. "So what he said was true," she whispered, tears falling as she remembered him telling her that he understood her pain.

Anko watched on in amazement as Naruto attacked the transformed Amachi. She stayed next to Isaribi, in case she needed to protect her should Amachi decide to target them. _So fast!_ Naruto flew at the scientist, seeming to appear from every direction. But eventually after pounding him into the water, Naruto's demon chakra faded and he collapsed on to the surface of the ocean in exhaustion.

"This is bad," Anko started forward after him, but Isaribi beat her to it. The girl dived into the water after him, and Anko just smiled. _I'll leave it to you._

She brought him to the surface, and Anko was almost surprised to notice how much relief she felt when he started coughing. She looked around quickly to see that her other genin were also fine. Shino was clinging to a rock out of breath, and Ino was still helping the sailors. They worked together to take out the last shinobi as he went after Shino again. _My genin,_ Anko laughed at her thoughts, _Well, I suppose I've grown attached to them. They aren't half bad._

Anko noticed that Amachi had come to the surface, in his human form again. He was turning to swim away quietly when she sent out her shadow snakes. The man looked at her in surprise. "Looks like I caught a big fish!" she smirked. Her smile turned more feral as she stared at him, enjoying his fear and frustration. "Were you trying to escape by yourself?"

Standing on that piece of rock at the edge of the ocean a few moments later, the three genin, Isaribi, and Anko looked down at the bound man who had committed so many evils. "Once we return to the village you will be punished for all your numerous crimes so prepare yourself!" she told him sternly.

Amachi looked away. "It's not over yet."

"You jerk!" Naruto growled, raising his fist threateningly, "Looks like I didn't hit you hard enough!"

Amachi chuckled. "That's too bad,"

"What?!" Naruto exclaimed. The ground started to rumble beneath them, and they all looked around in surprise. The water a way away from them sprayed up into the sky.

"The Sea Boss won't die, it's immortal!" Amachi laughed smugly. Sure enough, the water monster arose again with a roar. "As long as the Sea Boss is within this infinite sea, you guys will lose."

Naruto walked up to him. "Shut up!" he shouted, bashing him on the head. Amachi reeled and Anko had to stop herself from laughing. She watched with interest as Naruto performed a few hand seals and leapt on to the ocean surface. _I will intervene if he needs it,_ she thought to herself, _but I think he can handle this. He has grown that much._

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" Naruto shouted the summon, and the smoke soon cleared to reveal Gamabunta, the Toad Boss. The interaction between the two was amusing, to say the least, but it was obvious to her that the great Toad was fond of the little fox boy.

"To not even be able to control his own summons ..." Amachi said disparagingly, watching as the frog leapt around on the water as the salt irritated his skin with Naruto clinging on. "If you don't let him go he will be swallowed by the Sea Boss and end up like a slug dissolved in salt."

"What? A slug?" Gamabunta repeated around his pipe, insulted. "Naruto, I'll lend you a hand for now, but I'm going to smack you around afterwards."

"Really?!" Naruto shouted happily, but slightly concerned about what the 'smacking around' would mean.

"I have to show them my strength after being underestimated like that."

The toad attacked swiftly, and it was not really a long fight. Gamabunta was an experienced and clever fighter, and soon had the Sea Boss covered in oil lit by Naruto. Rain that had been the Sea Boss fell on to the watchers.

"They did it!" Ino exclaimed.

"Well done!" Anko said proudly. _That boy ... he will go far._

Gamabunta chucked Naruto high into the sky as punishment for the extra warts from the salt water, and then left. He really did seem fond of the boy, though with Naruto's personality it was hard to dislike him.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The sunset-painted sky looked down on the Konoha nin as they stood by the boat that would take them back to the mainland. Amachi was once again tied up, and despondent. _Just the way I like him._

"The Sea Boss was exterminated," Anko told him, "Amachi. As a prisoner of war, you will return with us to Konoha."

Amachi growled, turning his head to Isaribi. "What are you doing Isaribi? You've got to fight them!"

The girl seemed taken aback for a moment, and then her resolve grew. "I don't want to." she said firmly.

"Did you forget?" he asked, "The only person who can return you to your human form is me!"

"At this rate, even my heart will turn into a monster." she replied angrily, to Naruto's encouragement.

Amachi started cackling insanely, as he insulted her yet again. "Well, I can't say I knew of a way to get your old form back anyway." he seemed to take delight in her anguish as he continued, "That's why I told you that. You were supposed to be dissected."

Naruto made to hit him again, but Anko stopped him and ignored his questioning look. "Give it up." she told Naruto, "When we return to the village he will face harsh judgement." Amachi started to laugh at the Kyuubi boy's frustrated expression. Anko leant forward to whisper threateningly in his ear, "So, should I have you tell me here?" She cut his smirk in two as he sobered at the aggression in her voice. "Where did Orochimaru go?"

Amachi turned away angrily, "Do you think I'd know that kind of thing?"

Anko pulled on the ropes holding him, tightening them harshly. "For a person who was thrown away by Orochimaru, it's better for you to always be chasing after him," he mocked her with gritted teeth. "I'm different from you. Having been left in charge of the experiments, I could eventually surpass even Orochimaru." he finished smugly.

Anko pulled back a bit, putting an innocent expression on her face. "Oh?" She swung her fist and slugged him in the face before he could even blink, knocking him out.

"What?!" Naruto shouted angrily, "Unfair! Only you get to?!"

"Okay, the mission is complete!" Anko said cheerfully, ignoring Naruto, "Let's go home."

"Unfair, I'll just give one-" Naruto began, rolling up his sleeves.

"Stop it!" Anko said sternly. They were almost taken aback by her seriousness, but it worked and the boy calmed down. He understood that she would not allow him to push the scientist any further. _Not now._

Anko turned away from them, to face the sea ... and a certain island.

.c.c.c..c.c.c

Anko steered the boat towards the island, her mind racing and heart pounding. She couldn't hide her fear of what she would find there ... well, she couldn't hide that fear from herself. Fear of what her memories would reveal ... fears about what her past really hid.

_That's Jiroujima that Amachi mentioned,_ she thought quietly to herself. _Do the shards of my memories that are the fountain of my nightmares still remain?_

She reached the shore almost too soon, and stepped carefully on to the island. She walked carefully through the woods, towards some unknown place. Her feet led her path, and she couldn't help glancing around as her anxiety and determination grew. _I _will_ discover what happened here._

She reached an abandoned series of buildings, but her feet lead her to one in particular. She looked at the door, a broken rusty lock still on it. _This ... this is the source of it._ She reached out and pulled the lock off, but it took a few moments more before she could swing the door open with trembling hands. She stepped inside the small room within, closing the two sets of doors behind her so that she was left in darkness.

Anko stepped into the centre of the room, and looked around at the boxes surrounding its edges, and studied even the walls for any hint of recognition. It was familiar ... so familiar ...

A pulse from her seal hit her strongly then, and Anko grimaced, grabbing her shoulder. She breathed harshly as the burn continued, not easing in the least. It was fighting her ... fighting her efforts to break the block Orochimaru had placed on her memory. _The seal ... it must be tied in with my memory loss ... what happened here? _I have to knowShe straightened, ignoring the pain and fighting through it, fighting for the memories that were but a breath away.

...o..o.o..o...

_She saw herself, kneeling on the earth floor of the room. Her eyes were wide with fear and pain and ... betrayal. Orochimaru's fangs were in her neck, in her flesh. His mouth was against the skin of her shoulder, his hair against her cheek. Her blood dripped from his fangs as he pulled back, and the wound turned into a three-tear seal that was pure fire in her flesh. _

_She clutched her shoulder, slim frame shaking as she turned to her trusted sensei for explanation. "Orochimaru-sama! It hurts," she forced through gritted teeth, "What are you trying to-?"_

_The door opened and her sensei and his lackey left ... he left her there, in pain, with only his cruel chuckle to linger a moment and keep her company, her last view of his back. The doors closed behind him, leaving her in darkness. Her heart was beating so loudly ... beating fire through her veins and poison along her nerves. The young girl cried out, falling to the rough floor under the assault of the _thing_ her master had placed on her. She curled around herself, thrashing and crying out in agony, but no one came. She screamed and tore at the ground with her fingers, lashing out at phantoms her breaking mind showed her, but no one came. No one came._

Anko watched her younger self, as she screamed on the edge of death at the whim of her master.

_The girl had stopped moving. Her eyes were wide open, unseeing in the aftermath of the curse seal's poison. She looked more dead than alive, more of a doll than a living human._

_The door swung open, to reveal two figures. The one walked to stand by her head, looking down but she did not react. "She's alive," he said in surprise._

_The other man came to stand by her as well. They looked down at their experiment with some satisfaction. "She's a lucky child, isn't she?" the other man hissed. "So out of all ten, only one survived? This is Sarigi's smallest harvest."_

"_What about the rest?" the other questioned._

"_It doesn't seem as if there is a reason to stay here any more, so..." the man mused._

"_But the experiment is still -"_

"_Do what you like with that little branch." Orochimaru said disinterestedly, "I have no use for them any more." He turned away, only to be stopped by a small hand around his ankle. The Sannin looked down at the young, hurt, pleading face with no expression on his own. No regret._

"_Why are you doing this..." both young and old Anko asked, pain lacing her words, "even though I have always respected you?!"_

_Orochimaru turned and knelt down before his student with his lips curled in a cruel smirk. He lifted Anko's chin, caressing her skin with his fingers, with his own face a mere breath away. He spoke while looking her directly in the eyes, allowing her to see fully the evil that lay in his. _

"_You are lacking ... the will to seek power." his eyes widened as his insane passion gripped him, "Vengence. Hate. And everything else." Her mouth trembled, and he licked his lips at the force of her fear. "But that's right. Just letting you live may be of some use to me." He studied her face, his features twisting as he seemed to consider what use she could be. _

"_Hey."_

"_Come with me."_

_The words rang in Anko's mind. Her heartbeat increased audibly, beating ..._

To be with her sensei-

_faster ..._

To be of use to him-

_faster ..._

To have power, to have-

_Orochimaru watched her, Amachi watched her, both smiling, both-_

To be with her betraying sensei, who did not care for her-

_slower ..._

To be _used_ by him-

_slower ..._

To be twisted into an insane, inhuman creature who lusts for power, like him-

_She narrowed her eyes, and looked away, denying his offer. Denying _him

"_Well then," Orochimaru sighed, getting up and turning away unconcerned, "I'll find a more excellent child."_

_Both men left – left her kneeling on the patch of ground that was suddenly thrown into sunlight on the opening of the doors. She looked down at her clenched hands, as they slammed shut the doors and threw her into darkness again. Locking her away until they could deal with her. Until he could wipe her memory clean. Until he could leave her behind for Amachi to do what perverted evils he would with. Until she could escape before the scientist could touch her, and be found by the ANBU on a deserted beach. She had used up her worth._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko opened her eyes with a start, coming out of her memories. She looked at the floor, where she had lain so long ago. "So that's what happened." she said quietly. She turned away, walking back to open the doors into the sunshine. She squinted as she walked out into the sunlight, the daylight. "It's bright."

The world seemed to have changed in the wake of her revelations, in the wake of the truth. Everything seemed so much brighter ... so much more colourful and alive. _I wasn't abandoned._ It seemed like a miracle.

_I chose ... I chose it myself._

Anko smiled. She was still recovering memories, but she had found out what to her was the most important thing. Orochimaru hadn't abandoned her – she had chosen to abandon him. _Maybe I'm not like him after all._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Geez, where is sensei?" Naruto grumbled as they stood by the boat. "She can't stay still at all-"

"I can't believe _you're_ saying that!" Ino exclaimed. They had a mock fight, but Isaribi soon interrupted. She would go with them to Konoha, to be treated by the medical nin there and hopefully turned back to normal.

"Hey! You guys!" a voice came. The four turned to see their absent sensei on board the boat. "What are you doing? The boat's going to leave!"

"When did she-?" Ino began, bemused.

"Don't say 'What are you doing?'!" Naruto shouted angrily, "We were waiting for you for a long time!"

Anko put her hands together in apology, smiling sheepishly at them, "My bad, my bad!"

They soon stood on the deck of the boat as it cut through the ocean water, enjoying the sunshine and breeze. Gulls followed the ship, adding their peaceful cries to the crash and sigh of the sea.

"Alright!" Naruto exclaimed happily, "We're going back to Konoha!"

"Geez," grumbled Ino, "from beginning to end you keep getting worked up ... You probably don't know the meaning of 'tired', right? Poor Sakura ..."

Anko couldn't help laughing at their antics. Her heart, and soul, felt so much lighter. _I'm glad. I'm glad I came. I'm glad I had these genin as subordinates. I'm glad ... I'm glad I'm alive._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: This is the end of the story as it follows the anime, but I think Anko is too stubborn to roll over and accept anything this easily, so after this it's all my own ideas and we're going into AU. I hope you like it, but if you don't that's fine too. I'll be updating the next two chapters within the next week, but won't be able to update for at least three weeks after that.

Oh, and I promise there will be more Orochimaru really soon! Thanks again for the reviews (especially BloodRedShadows!) they make my day. Cheers for now:)


	6. Ch6: Anything

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: I've taken a bit of creative licence from here on out, so please bear that in mind. Oh, and I've been meaning to mention that I am not at all Japanese and so fail miserably at getting the jutsu names in anything but an english interpretation and I really don't know how to properly use suffixes, though I've tried. Just consider them unimportant unless I've specifically put them in, or in the case of Orochimaru and Anko I've deliberately left them out. Thanks for reading :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 6

**Anything**

The knowledge that it was _she_ who left him, her sensei, was enough to give Anko a sense of peace she had never felt before for a number of days. Kakashi had given her a more than pleasant welcome-back – the man was more than brilliant at copying a couple of techniques she didn't think would be legal in a number of more conservative countries, but she wouldn't have it any other way – and he had insisted, once hearing some of the story, that it was proof that Anko was nothing like the man who had taught her.

Anko had smiled at him, but she still had doubts in the darkness of her soul.

She had thought that the nightmares would leave her once she had found out the truth of why Orochimaru left her – _**I** left **him**_ – but they didn't. The snake Sannin was never far from her thoughts. It seemed like her time with him, those few years, had coloured everything she saw to a deep, crimson red. Nothing she saw or experienced was untainted. Making love to Kakashi, drinking sake with Asuma and the other jonin, training to hone her reflexes and accuracy – it all contained hints of him. And the memories were still returning to her.

_Memories ..._ Memories of how he loved to touch her, to stroke her hair or caress her cheek, to touch her shoulder or take her hand. Looking back, they were more possessive than caring, more disturbing than loving. There had always been a sensual element to his touch which, thinking back, made her sick to the stomach.

She still had flashes of things she couldn't quite remember. Anko still woke up in terror at some unnamed thing he had done, or she had done. The images of blood, in particular, never left her. _Why am I so obsessed with the fucking stuff?_ she growled to herself numerous times. _What is it about it ... what happened? What did he do to me?_

The peace, the beautiful peace that she had brought back with her from the Ocean Country, evaporated soon after her return to Konoha. Whether it was the surroundings that triggered her renewed hatred for her sensei, or whether the peace had been a mere illusion, or whether she was just a stubborn bitch who couldn't let go – it didn't really matter.

Anko lay on her bed, alone in the darkness after another nightmare. She stared up at the ceiling, hearing the soft sounds from outside of her apartment, muffled through shut windows and doors. She never slept with any windows open. Kakashi would grumble, and Kurenai would scold her on how stuffy her rooms were the occasional time she would visit, but Anko didn't care. It gave her a faint illusion of safety – a barrier against the dark. As a shinobi, one who had been apprenticed to Orochimaru, she had seen so much horror. As a child, she had been afraid of the dark. He had changed that.

Of course, she'd been innocent and trusting and naïve too, but he had killed that as well.

The child she had been ...

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko settled into the covers of her sleeping blanket on a thin travel mattress on the floor of the forest, staring anxiously at the fading fire. Her sensei was sitting a little way away with his back against a tree, seeming at ease in the coming dark._

_He noticed her restlessness, like he noticed everything. "What's wrong, Anko?" He was always more approachable and caring when it was just the two of them. Anko loved those times, when there was no one else around to worry her sensei, when he would patiently answer her questions and smile at her enthusiasm. -_How much of that was a lie?-

_Anko started at his voice. She looked at him nervously, eyes wide and looking very much the child. "N-nothing, Orochimaru-sama."_

"_Anko ..."_

_Her desperation to avoid disappointing him by not being truthful fought with her reluctance to tell him her fears and possibly disappoint him more._

"_Um, I'm ... I'm afraid of the dark, Orochimaru-sama." she replied quietly, her head down so that her bangs hid her eyes._

_She didn't know he had approached her until he brushed the hair out of her eyes. She looked up at him worriedly as he crouched before her, looking in his slit golden eyes as they studied her in turn._

"_I'm sorry." she whispered. _He won't want me any more – he's going to give me to some other jonin and take a better pupil ... One who's not scared of silly things like the dark ...

_The silence stretched uncomfortably for Anko, but eventually her sensei drew breath to speak. "Well, we'll just have to fix that, Anko."_

"_Really?" she asked hopefully, "You can make me not afraid of the dark?"_

_Orochimaru smiled at her slightly, cocking his head to one side. "We'll rest a bit now, and then start travelling at night. You'll see there's nothing to fear if you are competent enough."_

"_Hai," she said reverently. He seemed so wise to her – he was going to go out of his way to help her conquer her fears._

"_One thing to remember about any fear, Anko, is that it will only weaken you. To be a true shinobi, you must not allow fear to hinder you. Weakness is something you cannot afford and something I will not tolerate."_

_Orochimaru only gave her one full night travelling with him before he left her in the middle of an unknown forest at night. She found out later that it was the Forest of Death, and he had left her there to fend for herself for three nights and three days with only the instructions to find him after that time. He hadn't even told her, but left her a note to find when she woke up alone at dusk after a night and half-day travelling._

_She had never been so afraid ... But in the end, it had strengthened her. _

...o..o.o..o...

_Bloody tigers almost killed me then, too._ Anko thought back, remembering her sensei's test. If she hadn't conquered her fear and survived it alone, she knew now that he would have shrugged her off as weak and moved on. _I think ... I think he did a similar thing every time he found a weakness. But ... I can't remember the others now._ There was something about the other memories that she didn't want to recall.

Anko stared up at her plain white ceiling, at the boards and faint marks or cracks in the paint. _Fragments ... I keep remembering fragments. He just won't fucking leave me alone. _

_I have to kill him – I'll never be at peace if I don't. _She rubbed her eyes tiredly – she never slept well unless Kakashi used his Sharingan on her, and he was off on yet another mission. (_Bloody Hokage – doesn't she realise what these constant missions are doing to my sex life?_)

Thinking about it just worked her up. _I'll do anything to get the power I need to destroy him ... anything!_ she growled to herself. _I can't kill him as I am now, but how ...?_

Memories had been returning – memories of Orochimaru's masses of scrolls of powerful jutsus. He had collected them like children did marbles, though he took less than a day to memorise most. _Sandaime took a lot of them ... didn't he? If I could find them surely I'll find something he won't be able to defeat. If I'm caught ..._ Anko shrugged the thought off.

_If it takes me becoming a missing-nin to kill him, then I fucking well will!_

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko slipped into the room quietly. She was in the basement of the Hokage tower, near the room where the forbidden scroll that Naruto mistakenly took just before he was made a genin was now kept. Even since that incident, security hadn't been stepped up much.

_Must mention it to the Godaime ... after I'm done,_ she grinned wickedly.

This room held all the material confiscated from Orochimaru's labs after he had been found out and had escaped. It was all that he had left behind. Even being there made Anko shudder. His presence and scent seemed to linger among his old scrolls, an unwelcome ghost.

The walls were lined with shelves containing masses of scrolls. The Sannin had been, and still was, obsessed with knowledge. _It's why he keeps stealing bodies, after all. He's just too fucking afraid to die, if you ask me._

Anko searched among the scrolls randomly for a number of minutes, not really sure what she was looking for, before she saw an ancient-looking scroll tied with a black ribbon. _That ..._ she frowned – the scroll seemed to tug at her memory.

...o..o.o..o...

"_What's that, Orochimaru-sama?" she asked curiously as a man handed her sensei a scroll. He had tensed when he untied the black silk ribbon and read it, which piqued her own interest._

_The Sannin's lips widened in a pleased smirk as he turned away from her. "An interesting new jutsu, Anko. I'll see you for fire-jutsu practise this evening."_

_The young girl watched as her mentor moved quickly away._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko reached for the scroll, carefully untying the ribbon and unrolling it. The parchment crackled in protest as she straightened in out on a table in the middle of the tiny room.

Her eyes widened as she stared at the heading: "A soul-sharing jutsu? What the hell?" It was hard to make out the writing – the words were small and difficult to read, but Anko could catch the gist of what it said, and the seal drawn at the bottom was relatively clear.

Anko stared into space as she tried to consider the power of the jutsu. _You summon a contracted animal spirit, and make a deal to share your soul and chakra in return for their amplification of your chakra capacity and any techniques they know._ She re-read one sentence in particular. "'Depending on the spirit used, the chakra capacity can increase a hundred-fold' ... Gods. If I was a hundred times as powerful, I could ..." _I could kill him._

Anko read through the scroll again, and then quickly copied the seal and a few words on to a blank scroll she had brought with her. Putting the old scroll back in its place, she left as quickly as she could, glad to leave the ghost of his presence behind.

_Am I going to do this? If it gives me a chance to kill him, I would do anything, didn't I say that? _She felt slightly conflicted. Parts of the scroll had been worn away. _What if I missed something? What could go wrong if I fail?_

She stopped on a roof top halfway home, and looked up at the stars spread across the sky. It made her feel insignificant, and she didn't like it. Her fists tightened painfully, and her resolve strengthened, pushing away her doubts.

_I will do this. I will do anything._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko moved swiftly through the forests surrounding Konoha. _It wasn't called the Hidden Village of Leaf for nothing,_ she thought absently to herself as she concentrated on leaving absolutely minimal tracks. _I really really don't want to be followed. ANBU are too nosey for their own good._ The kunoichi wasn't known as one of the most formidable in Konoha for nothing, and was tough as nails with the skills to back it up.

She was heading for a very remote region in the beginning of a series of mountain ranges a few days from the village. Orochimaru, ironically enough, had shown it to her. They had used it as a training ground away from the village. Her sensei hadn't liked being around a lot of people for a long time, especially once he had been skipped as the choice for Yondaime.

_God, he'd been angry,_ she thought back to that time briefly, but cast the memory aside. _I'll think about it some other time._

She was heading there because it was the only place she could think of to perform the ritual completely undisturbed. _Plus I'll be safely away from civilians in case something goes wrong. Of course, I'll be safely away from help, too._ She sighed, "It can't be helped."

When she reached the secluded valley two days later, she was slightly tired from making a three-day trip in two. She couldn't rein back her desire to _finish_ it – finish everything. _Kill him._

The place was just as she remembered. A small stream ran through the edge of a clearing, where trees overhung the crystal water. _Further up is the pool where I would bathe ... under protest at the cold, of course._ She had been such a child, her innocent nature clinging on even with Orochimaru's influence. _Now I'm a bitter adult seeking revenge. Life's just fucked up._

Anko sighed as she looked around, memories of training with her sensei and talking to him around a fire at night surfacing and refusing to disappear. She sunk to the ground, resting her back to a tree as she tried to compose herself. _Cut the crap, Anko, and get down to business._

She pulled out a scroll, and unrolled it carefully. On the paper was the drawing of the seal, as well as a few words she'd written as instructions.

"Might as well get started," she said to herself, looking up at the sky to check the position of the sun. It was just after midday, giving her enough time to make a start.

Anko pulled out a bottle of ink and a brush, and stripped off parts of her clothing to expose her chest and top of her left breast above her heart. Next she pulled out a piece of mirror and positioned it so she had a good view of her neck and upper chest. She looked down at herself and then back at the seal.

"A fucking man must have designed this – it's just not easy to draw a seal above your heart when you've got breasts in the way." She chuckled to herself, "Good thing I'm not as endowed as Tsunade, because it's going to be difficult enough as it is ..."

Anko dipped the brush in the ink, and carefully marked her skin with the seal above her heart. Then she drew the required kanji on her right cheek, and the symbols that lead from the seal to the base of her throat and down between her breasts to touch her bellybutton. She then made a bunshin to draw a matching seal on her back, also above her heart.

She sighed as she studied them in the mirror and craned her neck to check they were perfect. It was nearing evening, and she was out of time for further drawing.

Anko moved to the centre of the clearing, and pulled out a kunai to slash her palm. She took a deep breath, gathered her chakra, and pressed her palm to the ground. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" she summoned.

In a puff of smoke, the snake that typically responded to her summons appeared. It was massive, on a par with those summoned by Orochimaru except for Manda, the greatest snake of them all.

The snake lowered its great head, staring at her with slit, unblinking eyes. "Why have you summoned me? There are no enemies here."

"I want to make another contract," Anko told the serpent, unperturbed by its gaze, "As you can see, I have the appropriate seal." She motioned towards her chest.

The snake studied the seal in the dying light for a number of moments. "You will share your blood, chakra, and soul with me."

"And you will share your chakra capacity and knowledge with me." Anko replied. With increased capacity provided by the serpent, her chakra would increase in power exponentially. "You've fought with me before. You know that I am capable."

"What is the reason for this?" the creature asked unexpectedly.

"I need to get more powerful to kill someone who betrayed me." She stared up at the snake. "And _I_ will be the one in control of my body, not you. Do you accept?" The deal relied on the snake's willingness, otherwise it would be like she was sealing a demon inside of her with no control over it. Contracts were exchanges of help for a small amount of blood and chakra. This contract involved a lot more blood and a lot more chakra, and would strengthen the creature as well as herself.

"How long."

"As long as it takes. If you want out before then, I'll need at least a month's warning."

The snake watched her for a few moments longer. "The same applies to you. One month's warning."

Anko nodded, ignoring the apprehensive feeling that was developing in the pit of her stomach. "Fine."

"Very well."

The creature was on her before Anko could move – it was so unexpected. It curled it's length around her body, holding her in place. It's head lowered to near hers as it seemed to shrink in size until its body was as thick as her own, with its head slightly larger than hers.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Anko managed to spit out, even though its constricting grip around her body made it hard to breath.

The snake looked at her expressionlessly, tilting its head slightly. "You know little about this contract. How unwise to enter into something without knowing all its aspects." It twisted around until its head was behind her, out of her sight. Her heart-rate increased uncomfortably. "But your offer is still too tempting to refuse. We will discuss your recklessness later."

"Wha-" Anko began, only to be cut off as the snake lunged forward and sank it's fangs into her skin. It bit down over her left shoulder, with it's front fangs piercing the centre of the seal drawn there and the bottom ones pierced the seal on her back. Its teeth slid between her ribs, and she couldn't breathe. Anko couldn't even scream at the pain as her head dropped back, the snake's one eye in the corner of her vision as its fangs were in her flesh. The front fangs threatened to pierce her heart – it felt to her like they already had.

The seals she had drawn then began to come to life, and Anko's body _burned_ as she finally got breath to scream. The snake tightened both its grip on her shoulder and its grip around her. It was so tight, it felt like the creature was sinking into her body.

Anko could only stare up at the bloody sunset sky unseeing, before the power of the seal took her and she lost conciousness.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When Anko woke up, she winced at the bright afternoon daylight and closed her eyes as soon as she tried opening them, covering them with a hand. She groaned loudly, her body aching all over as she tried to remember what the hell happened.

"That's got to be the _worst_ damn bitch of a headache I've ever had ..." she cursed as she got up, finally looking around her.

_Shit._

She remembered suddenly what had happened as she looked around the clearing. She looked down at herself quickly, checking for wounds but other than a few rips in her favourite mesh clothing and a really indecent state of dress, she was fine even though she'd been out since the previous evening.

_The seal has gone ... and there are no bite marks or even blood. What the fucking hell happened?_

She felt odd, like her senses had extended a bit maybe, and she felt a bit uncomfortable in her own skin. Anko shrugged and moved to her pack, grabbing some soap and a change of clothes. "May as well have a wash first. I feel like crap, and I think I smell worse."

The stream widened at one point to form a slow-moving pool. Anko stripped completely, and quickly immersed herself in the crystal water. "Just as icy cold as I remember it," she shivered, recalling why she hated washing herself in that particular pool. "Straight from the mountain ice with love." she quipped, and laughed mockingly at herself.

"Face it, Anko," she said aloud, looking down at her unmarked shoulder. "You're scared shitless because you don't have a clue what the fuck happened, and whether you might be sharing your body with a _snake_ spirit who you last remember piercing your heart before you passed out." She stared at her hand. Even the cut from when she had originally summoned the thing wasn't there. She had never healed so quickly.

After she was clean and dressed – _Boy am I glad I brought another mesh top –_ she sighed, standing over her pack. _The only way I'll know whether it worked is if I train. Then I'll see whether my chakra has increased or not._

Anko targeted a lone tree, and took a deep breath. She threw a kunai at the tree, trailing a cord, and shouted "Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique!" The cord burst into massive flames as it ran along the wire to the tree which exploded. "Damn!" Anko dived behind another tree to avoid the flying bits of charred bark.

She peered around the tree, and looked at the other's remains. Anko checked her own reserves, and came up with minimal depletion even after the technique. "Well I'll be damned. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" She created twenty shadow clones easily, which was harder than it seemed to people watching Naruto – he had the Kyuubi's chakra capacity after all – and set them attacking her.

When she'd defeated them all, she stared at her hands in amazement. "I'm still not half as tired as I should be – those bunshin would normally have taken more out of me than that. Guess that seal worked."

She moved to set up a fire and get something to eat out of her pack. It was getting dark again, the fight with her bunshin had taken an hour or so, and she decided not to head back to Konoha yet. _Might as well stay here for a few days and try figure out what's going on. Not like I have to rush to get back,_ she thought bitterly, _I'm not given many important missions anyway._

Anko settled down to sleep after she had eaten and brooded. _What I would give for dango right now. And sake. And sex. Hmmm, need to catch up to Kakashi as soon as he gets back from his mission. Nothing like easing your worries with mind-blowing smut. Wonder if Kakashi's picked up any new techniques from those books of his ..._ her thoughts faded as she drifted off.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko was in the valley for five days, training and testing her new limits, until her cursed seal made its presence known. The pulse hit her with no warning, and she gasped, falling to her knees in mid-seal. Her bunshin disappeared as she clutched the seal and swore loudly.

"What the hell?" she rasped, the pain not receding. She grabbed her seal and groaned, it hurt so much, before she suddenly felt something stir in her gut. A cold feeling washed over her, and centred on the curse seal, numbing the pain. She could still feel it, and feel the pulse, but it was dampened.

_The snake spirit? Did it stop the pain? It must have ..._ Her breathing was still heavy, but she was recovering quickly.

_The seal pulsing ... It must mean ... But why would _he_ be here? And passing so close to Konoha as well? It doesn't make sense. _

She wished she'd had more practise with her new skills and greater power before being given an opportunity like this, but shrugged it off.

_It doesn't matter. This is my chance to kill the bastard._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: I realise there was not so much of Orochimaru in this chapter ... ahaha ... well, there's lots in the next and I'll be updating within the next 2/3 days. Thanks to BRS & Makoto-Koto for the reviews :)


	7. Ch7: Liar

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Here's the next chapter with lots more of Orochimaru as promised! Thanks to BloodRedShadows, Makoto-Koto and AnimesTribute for the reviews - they really are appreciated :) For any queries about future updates please go to my profile page. Enjoy reading!

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 7

**Liar**

Anko was moving faster through the forests than she ever had before, and revelling in the sensations of wind whipping her face. She had used a jutsu Kakashi had taught her to suppress the curse seal, so she hoped that _he_ would not be able to sense her. _An extra element of surprise would be really good. Just to see the look on that bastard's face ..._

The anticipation started to eat at her. It was a violent, vicious feeling that was new and invigorating. If she hadn't had the thought of Orochimaru mere moments ahead, she would have worried about it.

Anko landed about four metres in front of the Sannin in her last leap. She straightened up from a crouch, and looked dead in his eyes, drinking in the sight of him. _Here, with me ... for the last time._

"Anko," he seemed momentarily surprised to see her – the curse seal hadn't warned him of her presence – but when he smiled it was condescending. "What brings you here?"

Anko's eyes were shards of ice as she looked at her former sensei, his lack of concern at her presence fuelling her fury.

"Orochimaru," she said coldly, "I'm here to kill you."

The snake Sannin chuckled, his eyes reflecting his cruel amusement. "My dear student, once again," he spoke slowly, as if to a child, "How do you plan to do that?"

In a flash, faster than the Sannin expected, she was attacking. "I'm not your student any more!" she hissed as she flew at him.

The air buzzed with kunai and thrown shuriken which he managed to dodge and deflect with ease. He felt her coming from behind, and blocked a kick while she blocked a retaliatory punch. The blows flashed, taijutsu the unspoken method of the moment, and neither faltered. They seemed to flicker around the clearing, from tree to grass to sky, and countered each hit. Anko had done some training with Gai to improve her speed, and Orochimaru ... well, he was Orochimaru, and he made the mastery of every technique his goal.

Then the snake smiled, and in a quick twist dodged Anko's defences and sent her flying with a blow to the midsection. He sent a fireball following to engulf her.

Orochimaru smirked, "You have improved, Anko, in some things at least. It's good to know you didn't let everything I taught you go to waste, but you cannot beat me."

He frowned then as he felt her chakra spike strangely. Emerging from the flames was Anko, and her chakra surrounded her like a glow. She took up a ready stance, and looked at him, expressionless.

"We'll see."

As if that were the signal, they upped their games to include various jutsu. It was like they were sensei and student again, and practising their various techniques as they used to. But the reality was far more serious, far more deadly.

They fought again, and while Orochimaru's jutsu's were clearly superior, Anko managed to avoid or counter most of them. But Anko started to tire – she had been training herself to exhaustion since she sealed the snake spirit, and had used more chakra to reach Orochimaru for the fight itself – and he appeared far less affected. A cut on her cheek stung, and she was panting hard.

"I'm tired of these games, Anko. I think it's time to stop being easy on you, and end it." he said finally, amused but annoyed. Amused at his ex-student's persistence and progress, but annoyed because it was not enough, never enough, and he had tired of her.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" he summoned, and two massive snakes rose up beside him. He smirked, before deliberately turning his back on her.

"Goodbye, Anko. You have been entertaining, but not good enough."

"Fucking basstard!" she hissed vehemently.

The Sannin turned around, feeling something different about her. His slitted eyes widened as they took in his transformed student.

Anko was not glowing, but on fire with a completely different chakra – one that was much darker and more intense than her own. Her pupils were slitted and irises lighter, and her teeth had formed distinct fangs. Her eyes flashed with cold, wild fury.

She was coming towards him so quickly that, with the surprise, he would have been hard-pressed to dodge if one of his snakes hadn't intervened. Anko's hiss was startlingly snakelike and he watched with renewed interest as she proceeded to tear his summoned creatures apart. Her jutsu attacks had increased exponentially in force, as had her speed and ferocity.

And then she was standing and staring at him, blood covering her arms from where she had thrust them into the creatures and gutted them. It was splattered across her face as well, adding to her feral features.

"Very unexpected Anko, but the new power is obviously not yours." he smiled. Anko's tongue flickered out to taste the blood on her lips, which he noticed with interest.

"I have sealed one of the snake spiritss inside me," she hissed maliciously, "so that I can kill you!"

She had his back to a tree with her hand around his throat in an instant, which he allowed for the moment without resisting. The smirk remained as he laughed at her softly. "So you share your body and soul with one of them, Anko? Not a very intelligent move if you can't control it."

His lack of concern again infuriated her. Her grip on his throat tightened, but his expression didn't change. She held his life in her hand, and he just smiled at her, like he knew more than she did. He always knew more than she did.

"I hate you!" she spat, glaring into his slit gold eyes with rage in her own, "I hate you for everything you've done to Konoha! For betraying everyone, for killing the Sandaime, for taking Sasuke, for what you did to me!"

"And what did I do to you, Anko?" he asked softly, pushing her. _Her control is weak. It won't take much more ..._

"You corrupted me!" she shouted, smashing a fist into the wood beside his head, "You made me into this!" Images flashed through her mind, of how much she had respected him, trusted him, _loved him_, "You took away my normal life and twisted it, poisoned it and poisoned me!" Red flashed past her vision – she always saw red in the corners of her eyes. Dripping, crimson tears. "You made me into a thing so that all that mattered was blood!"

The blood on her hands now fuelled her flashback, her utter confusion and disorientation.

"You _left me_!"

The moment she said it, it was like time stopped. Her heart stopped beating for an instant, and she stiffened. Orochimaru laughed under her weakened grip. In a moment he had reversed their positions, and had her pressed against the tree.

He smiled at her stunned face, her eyes flickering back and forth between her normal purple-brown and a lighter colour with slit pupils as her control wavered. She was drowning in her conflicting emotions – those of an abandoned child, and those of a betrayed, twisted adult filled with hatred and blood lust.

"_You_ refused _me_, Anko," he smirked, studying her face, brushing a hand through her hair, "You did not have the will or drive to follow, so I saw that you were weak. And now you are driven, by hatred maybe, but that is good. You always were a good student." He leaned forward, and purred in her ear:

"_And you wanted the blood. Don't you remember? You begged for it. You killed for it ..._"

...o..o.o..o...

_She did remember. Watching him lick the blood from his fingers, and looking down at her own blood-drenched hands. Staring at her crimson palms, watching them shake as she shook inside for something ..._

"_Do you want it, Anko?" He was always watching. He knew everything._

"_Sensei, I ..." She stared, and he watched her conflict. He had turned away before she raised her hand to her mouth, knowing the outcome already. Blood stained her lips, and she looked down at the man she had just killed with a kunai through the heart. She could taste his blood in her mouth, and it gave her such a feeling of power._

"_Come, Anko." She followed her sensei, unable to see the wide cruel smile on his face._

_They left the gutted corpse, staring up with blank eyes at the sky._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko shuddered against her old sensei's body, looking away in defeat. He ran a finger along a cut on her cheek, and held it up to her slit eyes before slowly licking the blood off. Her breath caught, the snake inside her magnifying her blood lust and impairing her control.

His smirk widened at the look on her face. Her chakra was fluctuating wildly, while she stared at his hand with blank eyes. Orochimaru's interest peaked at the obvious lack of control over her snake spirit resident, but more at her own blood lust. He wanted to see how far he had twisted this, his first mostly-successful experiment.

He leaned in a little, flicking his tongue out to run across the blood on her cheek again. Her eyes tracked him, not entirely sane.

Anko was struggling. She was forgetting why she was there, why she wanted to kill the man in front of her. The snake inside her, so recently sealed, was _demanding _blood to taste, to savour, and she was not experienced enough to control it, especially with her own sick longing for blood to compete with as well.

Orochimaru ran a finger over the seal on her neck, releasing the jutsu she had placed on it to conceal her from him. The contact, especially _there_ where she was so sensitive to his influence, caused her sanity, that poor thing so delicately restored by the Sandaime so long ago, to crack.

"They tried to convince you that you are not like me, didn't they Anko? They tried to convince you that you knew nothing, and had nothing to do with my experiments?" Orochimaru laughed as she flinched at the words. "What lies! You were actively involved in a number of them ... you just refuse to remember."

He held a blood-tipped finger to her mouth, and when she refused to move he rubbed her own blood across her lips and on to her tongue. Anko shuddered in disgust, but it wasn't only that. She liked it, and she couldn't stop him, or herself.

Orochimaru reached up, and slowly and deliberately cut a shallow line on his tongue. She watched, hypnotised, but tried to turn her head away when he brought his lips to hers. His hand on her jaw yanked her back and he kissed her forcefully, viciously, forcing her to see that she wasn't in control. And when she tasted the blood, _his_ blood, she truly wasn't. She couldn't stop herself, and didn't even consciously register, moaning in his mouth and pulling him closer with her nails digging in his skin, and he responded by shoving her harder against the tree with his body. One of his hands moved to rest just below her breast and the other caressed her throat.

Her chakra flared, rising to the surface as the snake spirit seemed to absorb every sensation. She could feel his own immense chakra crawling along her skin, as powerful as his presence. His body was hot, not cold like she might have thought. So warm that it burned ... Her mind had frozen, her memories for once had frozen, and all she could do was feel.

Orochimaru felt the coming ANBU much quicker than Anko, and pulled back from her. To his amusement she released him reluctantly, still not really consciously present. "You're such a liar, Anko," he purred in her ear, before stepping back from his dazed ex-student and licking his lips.

"I'll see you again, my _dear_ student," he smirked, disappearing in a sudden flame. "Give my best to Kakashi."

Anko slumped to the ground, her snake features disappearing as the spirit retreated, sated. She stared into the distance with blank eyes, not even looking at the ANBU that appeared or Kakashi who followed them.

"Anko?" he said urgently, "I was on my way back and I felt you ... Anko, are you alright? Which way did he go?"

Anko lowered her head into her hands and wanted to sob like she hadn't done since he left ... since _she_ left him. _How did he know about Kakashi? Dear god, how could I ...? If he is a monster, what does that make me?_ She wanted to cry, but she couldn't – _he_ had taught her that it was a weakness not to be tolerated (_Did he leave me alone in the Forest of Death to learn that, too?_). Even when Kakashi lifted her up, cradling her in his arms when she didn't respond, she did not cry.

She only succumbed to his warmth.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Let me see if I have this right, Anko." Tsunade said, slowly and sternly. "You felt Orochimaru's chakra, and rather than calling for back up you foolishly ran off to confront him yourself, seeking revenge. He then defeated you, and left before killing you because the ANBU arrived. Is that right?"

Shizune watched her mistress with wide eyes. _She really is scary sometimes ..._

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Anko stared straight ahead, expressionless.

"Goddammit Anko!" Tsunade shouted, slamming her hand down on her desk with an audible crack. Shizune winced – _There goes another one ..._ "As if we don't have enough problems with people out for vengeance!"

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade growled, sitting back down in her chair and swivelling it so she faced away from the kunoichi and out at the village. "You are off active duty until further notice -" _until I know what to goddamn do with you _"And you will not leave Konoha for _any_ reason."

She waited to see if the girl would protest, but when she didn't Tsunade sighed heavily. "Get out of my sight." she said, with more weariness than anger.

When she sensed that Anko was gone – _she was taught damn well, that's all I can give that bastard_ – Tsunade started searching around her person and drawers. _But gods only know what he did to her – or what he made her do._

"Shizune!" the Sannin shouted, "Where have you put my damn sake?!"

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

When Anko got back to her apartment, she had had half an idea he might be there, and he was. Kakashi looked up from his place on the couch and his damn book when she walked in. He was about to stand up, but she waved him down. "Need a shower." she said shortly, walking towards the bathroom. He went back to his book without a word.

Tearing everything off her – _have to burn it_ – she stepped under the scalding water. The ANBU had only given her time to wash the blood off her hands and face before taking her to see the Hokage.

Closing her eyes, she tried to let the water wash away all memory of _him_, of his voice, his touch, his _taste_. But the shower wasn't enough. She needed more ... She needed Kakashi.

They had had an understanding for a long time. It wasn't really love, or even lust though that did factor in – they were both attractive. It had started as more comfort between friends than anything else. Kakashi needed to be distracted from his memories of the past, which stopped him from really getting close to anyone, and Anko was the same. After being so betrayed, she felt that it was beyond her capacity to really love someone.

She didn't bother to put anything on, but went straight for the jonin, still damp from the shower. She chucked his book aside, and he let her – a measure of trust – and she straddled his waist. She reached for his mask, but he stopped her with a hand on her wrist and a question in his eye.

"I need this," she replied, raw emotion in her voice but what emotion exactly, he couldn't tell.

"I need you ... _now_."

His eye widened slightly. He hadn't seen her like this for a long time. He traced her cheek softly. "Okay." He pulled off the mask, revealing his face and both eyes, and leaned forward to kiss her, running his hands up her bare back.

She bit his lip, drawing blood, before kissing him fiercely. Kakashi was used to her ways, though she tried not to let herself get too carried away and always healed the cuts afterwards. He'd once joked that he didn't care about a few more scars and besides, Genma would drop his senbon if he saw them and knew what they were from.

Anko healed them anyway. She didn't want to mar him because of her twisted desires. She had more than enough reminders of her past without that. Though, when Kakashi needed her, especially on the anniversary of his best friend's death, she would be uncharacteristically gentle.

Later, she lay with her body against his and his arm across her back, feeling more relaxed. Kakashi was damn good at more than being a shinobi and the snake spirit was a mere hum in the back of her mind. It did not try to interfere, and she shrugged thoughts of it off.

But when she closed her eyes, the memories flashed back again and she jerked. He stroked her back as she turned towards him.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi, but would you please ...?" she said softly. Kakashi smiled a little, and caressed her face before activating his sharingan.

"Sleep dreamlessly, Anko." he replied.

Her head lolled back. "I fucking better," she murmured, making him smile, before she was out.

The Copy Nin stroked her hair once more before pulling her closer and closing his eyes. _Anko, do you know how much you worried me? Do you ... do you know how much you mean to me?_

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kabuto moved swiftly towards the main chamber after being informed that his master was back. He had a feeling that something untoward had happened on the Sannin's way back from one of his many clandestine meetings, and his feelings were rarely wrong.

When he entered the room, feeling that rush of power he always got around his master, he bowed deeply. "Orochimaru-sama."

The snake Sannin did not acknowledge him immediately, eyes skimming the scroll he had in his hand. Kabuto waited silently, patiently. Patience was one thing he had plenty of. It was one of the reasons why he made such a good spy.

Suddenly the Sannin smiled cruelly and looked up at his servant. "Kabuto," he acknowledged him and then looked away, a satisfied smirk on his face as he thought his plans through. "I met my old student again today," he revealed.

"Mitarashi Anko?" Kabuto asked, faintly surprised. "Is she still alive?"

Orochimaru gave a small chuckle. "It appears she was not a totally wasted experiment."

"How so, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Her drive for revenge has caused her to seal a snake spirit within her in a bid for more power, so that she can kill me." Kabuto watched his master, noting his expression. After many years in the man's service, Kabuto felt that he could read him better than anyone. _And this expression ..._

"She was successful?" The spy felt a new respect for the woman. Snake spirits were notoriously hard to control, even as summons or in exchange for sharing a human soul and chakra. You also had to have a blood contract with them, but it could give the sealer more power.

"Yess, but she was foolish." Orochimaru sneered, "It will merely amplify all that I originally taught her – her lust for blood and death – if she cannot control it." He smiled and licked his lips, "And it seems that she cannot."

Kabuto watched his master carefully. _Yes, I think I am right ... but to test it:_ "Do you want to have her killed?"

"No." came the reply, as Kabuto had suspected. The Sannin leant back in his chair, his face falling into shadows. "She ... interests me. In some ways, she was a better student than I thought."

Kabuto knew _that_ tone of voice. _It is as I thought – he wants her. It was the same when he spoke of Sasuke, but he rarely changes his mind about anything ... Has she really grown that much more powerful, to gain his attention like this again? And now he will draw her into his traps again. I don't think she will escape this time._

"How is Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru asked.

"He is ... anxious ... for your training." The Sannin laughed, understanding that his vessel had been trying even Kabuto with his impatience.

"Ready him for a training session."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimaru stared, snake-eyes unblinking as his thoughts turned back to his ex-student, and her new uses with this unexpected development. It would be more difficult than Sasuke, but she would make a useful tool and he had already seen that she could not resist him. Now he would just think of a sufficiently amusing way to corrupt her more, so that she would have to leave Konoha and would have only _him_ to turn to.

_Oh, there are ways and ways, but which will I enjoy most?_


	8. Ch8: Control

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: Yes, I know that chapter 7 was supposed to be the last update before two weeks time, but because I'm making you guys wait so long & I'd finished this chapter, I thought I might as well post it ;) Once again, thanks to those who have reviewed and I hope everyone else has enjoyed reading so far. Hope you all have a fantastic next few weeks!

Note: Writing in **bold** or **_bold italics _**are thoughts out of Anko's control i.e. snake spirit's influence

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 8

**Control**

Kakashi was leaving for a week-long mission early the next morning. Anko watched him with half-open eyes as he moved around the room, gathering together his clothes and pulling on a shirt after he'd finished showering. He towelled his hair dry, and it looked endearingly unruly and messy. Anko was in her bed, still sprawled under the sheets and bare, and from the way Kakashi was determinedly not looking too closely at her, she knew he was regretting leaving.

"Kurenai will be here for the next few days, if you need her," the nin said softly. Anko grunted in reply, closing her eyes so she couldn't see the concern on his face. He hesitated, as if he wanted to say more, but finally said shortly "Take care."

Anko sighed, and opened her eyes to smirk at him. "You too. Have fun keeping Asuma and his whelps in line."

Kakashi rolled his eyes, exaggerating his displeasure at her reminding him what he would have to deal with on this mission. "Cruel woman." he kissed her forehead softly.

"Perverted lazyass," she grinned, punching his shoulder.

Smiling and nursing his soon-to-be bruised shoulder, the Copy Nin left.

Anko's smile faded instantly. She felt less safe, somehow, with him gone. She scowled at herself, _I can handle anything he can! Better!_ She would miss the Sharingan-induced sleep for sure. _Maybe I should get some pills ... but then Tsunade-sama will ask why ... damn it ..._ her thoughts blurred as she slipped back to sleep.

...o..o.o..o...

"_Anko"_

"_A little higher ..."_

"_Do you want it?"_

"_You're such a liar, Anko,"_

"_I'll see you again soon."_

...o..o.o..o...

Anko woke up with a start to banging on her door. She got up, cursing and grumbling and rubbing her curse seal, pulled on a dressing gown and stumbled to the door. _Going to give that person a piece of my mind!_

"What the fuck do you want?" she growled as she pulled the apartment door open.

Kurenai smiled at her, all too cheerful for Anko's taste. "I came to see if you want to join a bunch of us at the bar. A few guys finished their missions today, so there are more of us home than usual and we're going to celebrate," she told Anko, ignoring her blunt greeting.

Anko considered briefly. Sleep with less than pleasing ... um, creepy, dreams, or sake and dango (which she could 'convince' any bar to make her). _Hmm ..._

"Meet you there," she grinned at Kurenai, who didn't remark that her friend looked slightly insane when she smiled like that. She wanted to get out of her apartment. _Fucking snake. Can't let me sleep in peace._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko moved easily through the crowded bar. She was one person that even the other shinobi were careful around. Her attitude seemed to creep a lot of them out for some reason ...

"Anko!" Genma greeted her, smiling around his senbon.

"Fuck off, Genma," Anko said shortly, before dropping heavily into a seat at the table surrounded by the few of her fellow jonin who weren't currently out on a mission. Kurenai, Genma, Gai, even Kotetsu and Izumo with his ever-present bandage over his nose. Those two hadn't lead genin recently, but were often seen assisting the Hokage. _It feels strange without Kakashi and Asuma here._

"Sake," she called to a waitress, "And dango!"

Genma merely grinned wider at her. "You seem to be in a better mood than usual. Missing Kakashi, maybe?" He winked suggestively at her: "You know, if you feel lonely ..."

Anko smirked at the womanising jonin. "Sorry, Genma, you just don't do it for me ... besides, I don't think you could handle what _I_ have to offer."

The rest of the table laughed loudly at Genma's stunned face. Anko felt uplifted – Genma was always good to play around with. It was practically a ritual of theirs. Genma would act insulted when she turned him down, and then promptly laugh uproariously and proceed to hit on the waitress, or Kurenai when Asuma wasn't watching, or if he was feeling brave he'd try Anko again.

Iruka soon joined them to the loud greetings of the group. Although he wasn't a jonin, not one of them even thought about it. No one could dislike the friendly teacher, though Anko liked mocking his passion for teaching those 'brats' (the language got slightly stronger the more she drank).

"Damn, I'm tired from these constant missions," Genma groaned a little later. "They're really wearing me out ..."

"You mean you haven't been able to get with as many women, hey Genma?" Kurenai teased him.

"Yeah, if your stamina is _that_ bad, you really won't be able to keep up with me," Anko grinned wickedly as his eyes widened. She winked at Kurenai, who broke into laughter again. Kotetsu and Izumo took the opportunity to tease Genma about how he let the kunoichi pick on him, and Gai went off into a rant about how Genma should join his early, middle-morning, lunch-time, mid-afternoon, afternoon, evening and night-time runs around Konoha. He seemed to think that it would cure his tiredness and invigorate his 'youthful spirit of fire'.

"But seriously," Kurenai interjected at last, "don't you think we're being stretched a bit thin? What with Akatsuki and all."

Izumo shrugged. "Not much we can do about it. Hokage-sama is trying to prevent any hints of weakness from encouraging other shinobi villages to think of war."

"But we're allied with Suna now, surely that would discourage any villages from attacking us?" Anko said.

"Yeah, plus our younger generation performed well at the Chunin exams." Genma added.

"Well I think Tsunade-sama is just being cautious. Plus we need funds to repair and improve our defences." Kotetsu said. He and Izumo spent a lot of time around the Hokage, and knew more than the others about her reasons for taking on almost more missions than they could handle.

"How were the kids you took along to the Ocean Country, Anko?" Izumo asked interestedly.

"Yes, how was Naruto?" Iruka asked. He had a soft spot for the boy, and Anko knew why.

She shrugged, pretending not to care too much. "They were fine. More competent than I expected, I guess, though they are all so naïve. That Naruto ..."

"Yes?" Iruka prompted.

"He's got some spirit. He seems to bond with anyone. And that chakra capacity ... I can't say I wasn't impressed. I didn't even have to do much after he summoned Gamabunta. I just held their hands every now and then, but they managed fine." They all looked at her, surprised to hear her praise the genin. Anko wasn't known as being too patient or caring. "What?" she growled, when she noticed them all staring at her.

They jumped. "N-nothing, Anko," Kurenai said nervously. And then she smiled. "I'm glad that they were of some help."

"Yeah. The Aburame boy is one of yours, right?" Anko replied, still grouchy. "He's good. But not very talkative, is he?" They all laughed, knowing the characteristic silence of that clan.

"So how are the next batch of brats coming along, Iruka?" Anko asked him.

The chunin smiled mildly, "Well, there might not be as many geniuses as in the previous group, but there are a number of talented and strong-willed students. I think they are going to do Konoha proud."

Genma clapped him on the back, though he almost missed. The sake was beginning to get to him, much to the amusement of those watching. "I don't know how you ... how you do it, Iruka. I don't think I could handle trying to theach ... gah, teach a bunch of kids."

"Well, isn't it your turn to take on a genin team this time, Genma?" Kurenai said slyly.

The jonin looked stunned for a moment, and then laid his head on the table. "Damn."

"It's not that bad, Genma. Really, it can be rewarding when you see how much they have grown and know that you have had something to do with it." Kurenai said earnestly.

"Yes!!" Gai shouted loudly, standing and pumping his fist in the air. The rest of the people in the pub didn't turn around or bat an eyelid even though his voice deafened those around him. "To show them how to grasp and shine with the fire of youthful energy!! To pass on your knowledge of the shinobi way!! To teach them the value of will and-"

"Yes, yes, Gai, I think we get the point!" Anko growled. "But really Iruka, I don't think those kids are ready for being shinobi after they leave the academy. They're too soft."

"I think it's important to give them a grounding, and allow them a bit of childhood as well." the chunin replied, "I think those that advance too quickly without being allowed a time of carefree happiness tend to be the most unstable. They are still children, after all."

"You're too easy on them, Iruka," Anko scowled, "The shinobi world isn't easier on children."

"No," Kurenai interrupted. "I agree with Iruka. I think not having time to be children can make them unstable. Look at Itachi, and Or-" she stopped suddenly, with that sick feeling in her stomach that you get when you know you've said something wrong.

Genma tried to cover it up, acting quickly even in his drunken state, "But look at the Yondaime, and Kakashi! They were geniuses and graduated early, and they have done so much good-" he rattled on and the debate continued, but with the tenseness in the air failing to dissipate while certain names were avoided.

Anko couldn't help how she'd tensed up, and couldn't help the killer-rage that boiled around her person at the mere hint of _his_ name. She knew she was making the people closest to being her friends uncomfortable, and hated him all the more which only made it worse.

"Anko-" Kurenai began finally, soft and hesitant.

Anko downed her sake and banged the glass back on the table, standing abruptly.

"'Night," she said, with her usual on-the-edge grin. She waved off Gai's urgent plea to 'show her vibrant youth' and stay longer, and Kurenai's concern, and left. She sauntered out of the bar, moving easily as the crowd hastily made way. She may have been smiling, but sharks also 'smile' just before they relieve you of a limb and a silent threat rolled off her in waves.

Kurenai dropped her head in her hands. "Gods, I'm so stupid!" she cursed, frustrated at her slip.

"It's okay," Genma comforted her, "It's just a sensitive topic. She'll get over it."

Kurenai shook her head, but didn't say any more. No one else needed to know what Kakashi had told her – that Anko had had a run in with her ex-sensei and tried to kill him only the day before. _Fucking snake, _she thought bitterly, _it's your fault ... You ruined her, and any chance that she would live a happy life._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Back in her apartment, Anko stared at her bed. She didn't really feel like sleeping, especially when she knew what dreams would await her, and the snake spirit was restless. No one knew about it except for Orochimaru – not even Kakashi. If Tsunade found out, then she would forcibly remove it and then remove Anko from the shinobi ranks forever. It was a forbidden technique, after all.

Anko turned on her heels, and headed for a remote training ground. It was night, but all the better to improve her skills and try to control the snake though she couldn't release its power - the ANBU would be all over her, sticking as tight as Gai's spandex to unmentionable places. Instead, she decided to train herself to exhaustion.

She set up exploding traps, trip wires, falling logs and targets. She moved through them, slipping through the undergrowth like a serpent, darting through the dark forest and dodging balls of flame and shining shuriken, with back flips, rolls and twists of her body that defied natural flexibility. She trained until she was too tired to dodge effectively, and then carried on, ignoring the cuts and the pain until she almost fainted from exhaustion and blood loss.

She finally slipped on a branch, dizzy, and fell to the ground with a thud. She didn't make a sound except to sigh. _I need to get better._ But it was more than that.

When Kurenai had almost mentioned _his_ name in the bar, Anko had had a sudden rush of almost uncontrollable fury, magnified and multiplied by her snake resident. The power of the urge to bite, to _hurt_, one of her companions stunned and worried her. She had had to leave there and work herself to exhaustion or she wasn't sure what she would do.

What also disturbed her was the way the snake spirit twisted inside her at the thought of her ex-sensei. It gave her a strange, but not entirely unpleasant feeling and she didn't know what to make of it.

Sprawled out on the grass, tired, bruised and bleeding, Anko stared up at the cloud-filled night sky. It was so oppressive and blank compared to a clear sky of stars and a numbness spread over her, watching it. She couldn't and didn't resist the persistent pull into sleep that took her then, but she tried hard to resist the strange dreams of lips and tongue and blood. Always blood.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

It was a few days later when Anko was awoken by banging on her apartment door again. She groaned and cursed, and forced herself to get up. The kunoichi had been training herself into exhaustion every day since Kakashi had left five days previously. She hadn't had any hints of lapse of control since that night at the bar, but then she hadn't been allowing herself excess energy to even think either.

She pulled on some clothes, pulling herself together at the same time, and moved to open the door. _Who the hell is it now?_

"Yes?" she said curtly, before she registered that it was Izumo at the door. She only had to glance at him for ice to run down her spine and shake off her remnants of weariness. Anko recognised that expression, and recognised that it never meant anything good. She flung the door open wide. "What is it?" she demanded, allowing anger to colour the concern that was welling up in her chest.

Izumo took a deep breath. "It's Kakashi, Anko. He's in the hospital."

_Nonononono ..._ "What happened? Wasn't he still supposed to be on his mission?"

"I don't know any details, except that it's serious. I'm sorry. I'm sure Tsunade-sama or Shizune-san will be able to fill you in." He touched her hand gently, but Anko didn't seem to notice. "He's tough, Anko."

She turned away from him, shutting the door and he made no move to stop her. He had never seen her like this. _She looks so ... human. Maybe there was more between them than any of us thought._

Inside her apartment, Anko allowed herself one moment of despair before pulling on her proper clothes. She left through the window and leapt across rooftops – it was the fastest way and she didn't want any questions. She only wanted answers.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko strode through the corridors of the hospital without taking any notice of the people scurrying out of her way. She didn't even take any satisfaction in her terrorising of the receptionist when she was getting details of Kakashi's whereabouts. She only felt anger in the time she had had to waste while the woman stuttered her answer.

She saw the double doors of the emergency room where Kakashi was and would have walked straight through them if a woman hadn't stepped in her way. Anko put out her hand to knock her aside.

"Anko-san! Stop!" the woman said sharply. Anko blinked. It was Shizune. "You can't go in there – you can't disturb them!"

Anko licked her lips. Her mouth was suddenly dry. She tried to focus on the Hokage's aide, and managed with difficulty. "Shizune-san. How is he? What happened?"

Shizune sighed, lowering her eyes. "He's ... They ran into Akatsuki. It was completely unexpected, and they ... they weren't prepared. It was only supposed to be a B rank mission."

Anko glared at her. "_How is he._" she hissed, voice harsh in warning.

Shizune still didn't look at her. "Tsunade-sama and Sakura-san are in there with a number of medic nin. His comrades carried him here after doing all they could, but they were a day's travel away and he took the brunt of the attack. It ... it doesn't look good. There were some head injuries."

Anko stared at the floor. There was a feeling surging up inside her, and she couldn't determine what it was. She was almost afraid to examine it too closely.

Shizune touched her arm lightly, and Anko wondered abstractly why she was the second one to do so. Why did they think she would welcome their touch? "If anyone can help him, then Tsunade-sama and Sakura-san can."

Anko didn't reply, and Shizune backed away to stand by the doors. Anko didn't even notice the ANBU member who was standing there as well, but he noticed her.

She clenched her fist, digging her nails into her skin. Anko felt herself slipping – her control was slipping and she couldn't stop it. The snake spirit was rising up inside her rapidly, raging and demanding blood and vengeance. It roared inside her head, and she was sliding and slipping on the edge of darkness. _Who ... who did it. _Who did it

She didn't realise she had asked out loud until the ANBU answered her. "Uchiha Itachi."

Anko was going to snap. She was going to scream and kill, so she ran. She ran out of the hospital, ignoring Shizune's shout, and ran as swiftly as she could into the forest. Ignoring Tsunade's command not to leave Konoha, she was hours away before she allowed herself to stop. The transformation took over her, and she let it. She raged through the forest and roared, burning trees to ash and dust and killing all the green life around her but it wasn't enough. It didn't sooth the aching inside, or the serpent. She could feel ANBU sentries moving towards her to investigate, and she managed to stay sane enough to avoid them.

She had to move further and further away from Konoha to avoid the ANBU, until eventually she was at least half a day away, in the direction of the place she used to train with Orochimaru; the place where she had sealed the snake.

She landed in a clearing, panting and tense, but still not herself. _Uchiha Itachi ... I'm going to _kill_ him! I'm going to tear into him and spill his blood! I'm going to **kill everything**._

She snapped back into awareness at that thought that hadn't truly come from her. She was spinning and spinning, out of control and her mind was cracking, _breaking_, and she didn't know how to stop to heal to **kill**-

She was brought back by hands on her shoulders. Hands that belonged to the one who had cracked her sanity and stole her peace. She lunged forward, the thought **_kill_** overtaking her again, but he brought her back with a blow across the face that would have flung her to the floor if he didn't catch her.

"Orochimaru ..." she managed to mumble with blood in her mouth from the split lip he had just given her. "Come to laugh at the wreck you have made of me?"

He studied her with an indecipherable expression, and said nothing.

"Why are you here?" she asked, ignoring the shaking of her body and the thoughts of -**_kill_**- what she had run from and where she was.

"You are out of control." he said calmly. She glared at him, and he smirked. "This is a mess you have made, Anko, not me. And I wonder what brought this on? Could it be an encounter some Konoha nin had with Akatsuki?"

Anko shook and her seal _burned_ and the snake _raged_, and she wanted to die. _Kakashi ... gods, Kakashi ..._

"You cannot control the spirit enough to get your revenge, Anko, whether on Akatsuki or on me." He sneered at her broken form, "You are pathetic, once again. And I thought you had found some fire, some spirit. I was obviously wrong." He stood and started to walk away.

"_Fuck you_!" she shouted, staggering to her feet, "You fucking bastard! I'm **_going to kill you_**!" She lost control again, and when she gained conciousness this time he had her with her back to a tree. The thought _this seems to be happening too often_ flitted across her mind, but she shook it off. He smiled down at her, watching her as she looked around confused and breathing heavily. "What ... what is happening to me?"

He licked his lips, and she watched him, dazed, as he spoke. She couldn't keep her eyes from his mouth. "You are losing control of your body, Anko. You will die if you continue like this. But-" he leaned down, and breathed in her ear, "You will kill everything you love first if you can't stop it, and _you_ can't. You will bathe in their blood, and the only one who can teach you control is me. I'm the only one who can help you."

"Come with me."

Anko was drowning in memories. _"Hey. Come with me."_ He had said it to her then, and she had refused. But now ... now she didn't know what to do. If she didn't go with him, she would lose more and more control, and go insane, killing those around her if they didn't lock her up or kill her first. But if she went with him ... _I might end up losing my soul anyway._ She stared into the depths of his cold golden eyes that were the focus for so much pain and confusion in her life. _I could ... I could go, and learn control and power ... and then I could kill him and Itachi. I could ... go ..._

"Why would you help me?" she asked, searching his eyes for some of the compassion she had imagined to be there in her childhood.

He ran the fingers of one hand across her jaw, and smiled almost pleasantly though it didn't reach the coldness in his eyes. "Oh, Anko. You should know I offer nothing for free." he laughed lightly in amusement, as if she were a child and had said something so naïve it was funny.

"I won't kill for you!" she spat, anger rising again, "I won't help any of your plans! I'd rather die, or better, I'd rather kill you!"

He smirked. "But you will die. Not only that, you will kill all those around you as well. So tell me, Anko: what will you do? Serve me, kill for me? Or kill those you love?" He laughed mockingly, "Or maybe just those you care for, because you can't love, can you? You're not capable of love."

She turned her head away and didn't reply, because in her mind she believed him. It was what she herself thought: she was not capable of love. Once she had loved ... but after the utter betrayal ... Her soul was too dark, too tainted. That was why she was considering his words, considering his offer. He had broken her once, and the cracks had never really healed. His poison spread too deep for even the legendary Godaime to heal.

"How do you know I won't just kill myself?" she managed to say, trying to ignore how close he was, trying to block from her mind what happened the last time they were so close.

"Because you want revenge too much."

It was true. It was so true, she wanted to cry. _That's why I couldn't be at peace after finding out I had left him, and not been abandoned. I want my revenge so badly, because finding that out hadn't made anything _better_! Nothing can make it better! But if I kill him ... maybe I can find some peace. And now that Uchiha ... I want revenge on him too. Not just for me – for Naruto._ That boy had touched her heart, like he touched so many. _He will lose his life to Itachi because of the Kyuubi. Kakashi may have lost his life to him ... If I can kill him, then I must._

_I could go, and learn, and then kill them both. I could do this._

Orochimaru watched her all the while, able to read most of what she was feeling and he could understand the gist of what she was thinking as well. Manipulation was a technique he had made in to an art – a jutsu almost. _There is only one thing she can decide. _He chuckled to himself cruelly, _Oh, Anko, you have fallen back into my hands. What a useful tool you will be. So easy to twist to my will – and even easier once I have you away from Konoha. Soon, you won't even remember these people you cared for. All you will concern yourself with are _my_ wishes, _my_ will. _His smile widened covetously, _But for now I will give you a little more time to discover how much you need me – and to cut your ties to this place so you can _never_ return._

He leaned forward again, and moved his mouth from her shoulder, up along her neck to her ear again – never touching her, but his lips and breath an inch from her skin causing her to shiver in response. "I will be near here for one more day. You have that long." He stepped back, and dissolved into smoke. He left her standing in the clearing, alone.


	9. Ch9: Cutting Ties

A/N: Finally here is the next chapter! Sorry for the wait all. I'm going to leave the long explanation for my profile page, so to see what's happening with updates/lack of inspiration etc. see there. It seems to be getting a bit darker but oh well ... I'm sorry if I've lost anyone with the direction the story's taken, but I hope some of you enjoy reading anyway :)

Note: stuff in **bold** are thoughts/speech not under Anko's direct control but that of the snake spirit. Think dual personality.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 9

**Cutting Ties**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko moved back towards Konoha at a slower pace than when she'd left. Her heart was racing and her mind refused to calm down. She was so conflicted, and again her past with Orochimaru was tainting her. _I'll go see if Kakashi ... I'll go to the hospital, and then decide. Then I'll see._

She avoided all the patrols around Konoha, not wanting to have to answer awkward questions about why she had left against orders. Anko used a transportation jutsu to travel parts of the way, so that it didn't take her the half day it should have to get back. With her extended chakra capacity, it didn't take as much out of her as it would have a few days before.

When Anko arrived at the reception desk at the hospital, the receptionist practically fell backwards out of fright.

"Hatake Kakashi." she said expressionlessly, giving the civilian woman her best unspoken-threat-of-death look but taking no joy in her reaction. Orochimaru had sucked the joy out of her life again.

"I-i-in room s-six-oh-three," the receptionist stuttered, and breathed a sigh of relief when the kunoichi turned without a word down one of the corridors.

_Does this mean ... is he ...?_ Anko's thoughts were incoherent, and she quashed them ruthlessly. She strode through the corridors forcing her mind to be blank, and her emotions non-existent.

The room was not the one Kakashi had been in before, but it was still nearby in the area of the hospital where all the critical patients were kept. The thought Anko wouldn't allow herself to consider was that if he was dead, he wouldn't have a room; but she couldn't let herself hope. It was just another weakness.

There was no one outside when she arrived at the door. She stood, staring at the door handle for a number of moments. It was like deja vu. The last time she'd been hesitant to enter a room it had been when she was on Jiroujima standing before the room where Orochimaru had given her the curse seal. Just like back then, she was afraid of what the door would reveal.

She was reaching for the handle when a voice stopped her. "Anko."

She turned around, to see the Hokage. As usual the woman was serious and stern, but Anko feared the sadness she could see there as well. "Hokage-sama. Is he ..." she stopped, and then motioned towards the door. She couldn't say the words – any of them. She couldn't show her weakness even now.

Tsunade sighed, and Anko noticed for the first time how tired the woman looked. "We worked on him for hours, Anko. He sustained severe injuries and Itachi used his Mangekyou Sharingan on him again. We managed to heal his body so that he is no longer in a critical condition, but ... as far as I can tell there is a large amount of mental trauma. We'll continue to do all we can." Anko's face was expressionless, but her clenched fists at her sides gave away her anxiety.

"He's in a coma, Anko, and I don't know if he's going to wake up."

The words ran through Anko's head: _Why?! You're the fucking Godaime, the greatest healer Konoha and the rest of the shinobi nations have ever known! You _have_ to be able to heal him, dammit! How can you stop trying?!_ But she said nothing, and merely bowed her head so she wouldn't have to see the sorrow and pity on the other woman's face.

Tsunade knew that a shinobi's life held loss, and pain, and suffering. She knew it from first-hand experience. She knew it because her brother and her lover both died in battle, she knew it because her teammate had left them to become a traitor, later killing their sensei ... she _knew_. But knowing didn't make it any easier seeing someone else border on breaking point with the suffering she understood all too well.

"You can go in and see him." she said quietly. "He might be able to hear you."

Anko nodded, and turned away towards the door. She said nothing to the other woman, and opened the door without hesitation and moved smoothly inside. She closed it with finality behind her.

The Sannin watched the door swing closed, and she sighed again. _Kakashi ... We really can't afford to lose you. _I_ don't want to lose you, even though I detest your support of Jiraiya's perverted novels._ It was a bitter attempt at humour that didn't help. She started to walk back through the corridors, caught up in her thoughts on her patient and Sakura's determination to heal him, even though she had just started to learn how. She'd had to knock the girl out before she could stop her from using up all her chakra and killing herself. _She has faith that she can heal him. I suppose I have faith in her too._

"Hokage-sama!"

Tsunade turned around to answer the urgent call. It was one of the ANBU, and if Tsunade remembered correctly it was the one who had helped carry Kakashi back. He had stayed outside the operating room until they had the Copy Nin stable. "Hai?"

"I have some disturbing news, Hokage-sama, and it's very urgent. Can we talk privately for a moment?"

She led him into a nearby empty room, and he closed the door behind them. "What's this about?" she asked. The Sannin was tired, and upset, and really didn't feel like dealing with any _more_ problems but what he said next caught her attention.

"It's about Mitarashi Anko."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The room was so quiet that Anko imagined she could hear her own heart beating. It was a staccato rhythm that beat so loudly she wondered whether Kakashi could hear it. The Copy Nin looked so much smaller and more fragile on the narrow hospital bed, with the white sheets covering him and his arms at his sides. It looked so _wrong_ because Anko knew he never slept in anything but a sprawl that threatened to shove her off her own large double bed.

She moved to stand beside him. His mask was covering the lower half of his face, which made her feel more at ease with the familiarity, but the scar running across his left eye stood out glaringly against his too-pale skin. If it wasn't for the faint rise and fall if his chest she would have thought he was dead.

"Kakashi ..." Anko said softly, reluctant to break the silence. She hesitantly reached out and took his hand in one of hers and brushed back a stray lock of his hair. He didn't respond, of course. Anko rubbed a hand across her face, wanting to cry again. He looked so fragile and ill and _weak_ ...

"God, Kakashi ... What am I going to do?" She stared at his face – so still and calm – and rubbed his hand between her own. "I'm out of options, Kakashi. I need help, and the only other person I could have turned to was you. Why did you decide to take on the Uchiha again?" She couldn't help the angry frustration that welled up inside her even though she knew it was selfish. "It's because of Naruto and Sasuke, isn't it? You thought if you could kill him then Sasuke would come back and Naruto would be safe. I understand, but you should have known that you wouldn't be able to beat him. _You should have known!_" Anko clenched her fist and held her anger in tightly to keep her emotions and the spirit from taking control.

"You should have known – I could have told you – that Sasuke won't come back. If he does, he won't be the boy you remember. He had none of the naïvety that I had to protect him, but even if he had, no one escapes from Orochimaru." She ran the fingers of one hand lightly over his face and hair, with the other hand holding his. "When you wake up, I'm not going to be here, and I'm sorry. There's something I have to do, Kakashi. I have to leave and go to him again. That bastard ... I have to go to him because otherwise I'll kill people I care about. I'm ... I'm out of control, and at least if I go crazy when I'm there I'll take out some enemies of Konoha, hey?" she laughed humourlessly, bitterly. Kakashi was quiet, unresponsive, and she turned her face to stare out of the window at the blue blue sky.

"I have to go to Orochimaru because he can help me, but after he's given me power I will kill him. He knows it as well. I will kill him, then I will go after Akatsuki. Maybe if I help Konoha they will take me back ..." _even after all I would have done. _It was a vain hope, but it was a hope she clung to nevertheless even though it was a weakness. "Then we will get back together – maybe officially this time, what do you think? If you can forgive me."

Anko leaned over and pulled his mask down, kissing him gently on the lips before replacing it. "Goodbye, Kakashi."

The kunoichi turned towards the door, but it was thrown open to reveal two ANBU members. They walked in seemingly casually but Anko was too good a kunoichi not to recognise their ready stances.

She looked at them impassively, putting on an arrogant attitude. "Yes?"

"Mitarashi Anko," the one began – Anko suddenly recognised him as the one who had been standing outside the hospital room with Shizune many hours earlier – "We would like you to come with us."

"Why?" Anko's head was lowered so that her bangs hid her eyes.

"You are to be questioned about your recent contact with the S-class criminal Orochimaru and a forbidden scroll previously belonging to him that was being kept in a secure room in the Hokage tower."

The other ANBU member shifted warningly. "It would be better if you came with no trouble."

"Better for who?" Anko sneered, "**You**?" Her tone of voice caused them to tense in alarm – it was too rasping, too alien, to belong to her. She lifted her head and they froze for a moment at the sight of her strange eyes. That moment was all that she needed. She could have killed them both then, it was in her eyes and her stance and she would have, if she hadn't been stopped by an audibly indrawn breath and a voice.

"Anko?"

She turned slowly back towards the hospital bed, her control coming back to her along with a wave of numbness. "Kakashi?"

He stirred weakly on his bed, and stretched a hand towards her. "Anko, don't ..." he spoke with difficulty and seemed to struggle to try and say more.

The kunoichi froze. He had seen what she was about to do. He had heard what she had said. An irrational part of her mind took over and screamed at her, drowning out her sane mind: _Run! They will lock you up and he will tell them about Orochimaru and the seal! He will tell them that you were going to leave Konoha! **He will never forgive you. There is nothing left for you here.**_

Anko leapt for the window and crashed through the glass with her arms shielding her face. She heard the shouts of the ANBU behind her, and vaguely registered passing a stunned Kurenai at some point, but she was running on automatic. Her reason had retreated and all she could think was _run_. She didn't know how to stop. They had all underestimated her fragility and the ease with which she could be manipulated – even she had underestimated it. And now it was too late to back down and ask for help and understanding. It had all gone too far and she had no other option and nowhere else to run.

She didn't hear Kakashi call in her wake, finishing what he had tried to say before: "Anko, don't go!" And under that, the whisper he could never voice: _don't leave me._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko made it far into the forest before she began to realise exactly what she had done. She had almost killed two ANBU and then ran when they were going to take her for questioning. She had left Konoha when she was under strict orders from the Hokage forbidding it. If they hadn't thought she was a traitor before they certainly thought it now.

"Oh Gods," she despaired, her tough façade cracking, "what have I done?" She held her head in her hands and it was pounding with conflicting thoughts and feelings. Rage boiled beneath the surface and the urge for **blood**and release was frightening. She couldn't tell what was _her_ any more.

"Mitarashi Anko."

She looked up reluctantly. It was one of the ANBU again. _I shouldn't be surprised that he caught up. I can't ... I can't deal with this any more. I just need to get away. Why won't they leave me alone?!_

"Please come with me quietly." Like all ANBU the mask gave him an intimidating anonymity that they learned to use effectively. His voice was bland and expressionless, but there was a lot of authority there as well. Anko could read the deadly warning it held.

Anko shook as she tried to hold herself together. "I can't. Please go. I can't control this."

"Hokage-sama can help you."

Anko closed her eyes, conflicted, and that was when the other ANBU gave away his position by throwing a senbon at her. Her hand flashed out and she caught the needle between her fingertips, bringing it to her eye level. She cocked her head to the side, and watched the sedative poison drip from its tip and her lips widened in a predatory grin.

"**You're going to regret that**."

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko's conciousness faded into dream-like memory. She was young again, standing on the edge of the pier with her sensei looking out at the sea. The breeze brushed her hair back as she looked up to smile at him with innocent adoration. The wind blew strands of his black hair about his face and his gold eyes were bright as he smiled indulgently back._

_Innocent? She had not really been innocent then, had she? She'd already killed a man – more than one – and she had stood before her sensei with blood on her hands. The man's wide, dead eyes came back to her. She could see his body lain out on the ground with blood leaking from below his ribs. It smeared the ground and stained his clothes and turned her hands into crimson gloves. And later, when she helped him with his experiments. All the deformed bodies she observed laid out on steel tables – some dead, some not – while she handed him instruments and held scrolls. The way she looked at them as _things_ rather than living or once-living beings until she'd seen the floating girl._

_That girl touched her heart, because it might easily have been her. And then her misgivings were supported by the cursed seal: she was just another experiment to the man she followed and admired._

_But the body kept coming back to her. Their mission had been to find a spy that supposedly had knowledge of Konoha's defences. They had found the spy in a village in Rain Country, but Anko had made a mistake and given them away. They had caught up to him as he ran away into the forest, and Orochimaru had stopped him._

_The man, a nondescript character who might have been difficult for any shinobi less than Orochimaru to find and catch, had been terrified when he saw her sensei._

"_Oh God, oh God!" he cried, "Not you! I swear, I don't know anything! Don't take me!"_

_The Sannin lost all expression. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Nothing! Nothing! I don't know anything!" he lost all composure and started to cry._

_Anko had a moment to wonder why he was so afraid of her sensei, before Orochimaru had told her to leave them so that he could speak to the man to find out if he was truly the one they were after._

_Moments later, Anko heard a scream and she ran back. The spy was writhing under her sensei's grip around his throat and trying to scream again. Orochimaru was impassive and his eyes dark as he watched the man struggle for air._

"_Orochimaru-sama, what ...?" she asked, confused. Their orders had been to bring the man back alive for questioning._

"_Anko, I have decided that this man knows too much to live. He is too dangerous to Konoha, even to bring back for questioning."_

"_I'm sorry for earlier, Orochimaru-sama," she said quietly, ashamed that her mistake could have caused this criminal to harm Konoha._

_The snake Sannin was quiet for a moment. "You can redeem yourself, Anko." he said, without looking at her. He loosened his grip on the spy slightly, allowing him to breathe._

"_How?" she said eagerly._

"_Kill this man."_

_Anko blanched. She had never killed anyone before, let alone an unarmed man. "But-"_

"_Shinobi must be able to kill to defend their country, Anko. Any hesitation is a sign of weakness that means you are unfit to be a kunoichi." She shivered at the coldness in his voice. "If you cannot do this, then we end here."_

_Anko couldn't believe what he was telling her to do, but at the same time it made twisted sense to her. She had to be able to kill to be a kunoichi, even in cold blood. But she was young, almost eleven, and she couldn't comprehend taking someone else's life. She stared up at her sensei, the man she idolized, and realised she had to do this thing or she would lose him. She would lose the one person who had become her entire world, and she knew she couldn't allow that to happen._

_Anko pulled out a kunai, and took a step forward. She tried to block out the man's whimpers, and shunt aside her conscience. There was no place for one now._

_Orochimaru knocked the man to his knees, and held his arms fast behind his back. The spy tried to thrash and cry out, but the Sannin was stronger. He watched Anko approach with dark approval in his eyes. Those slit golden eyes made her shiver but also distracted her from what she was about to do._

_She held the kunai to the man's throat, and her hand shook. She looked down at him as he moaned and pleaded, and her heart stopped. _I can't do it. _The thought hit her with the force of a blow. She couldn't kill him like this. She couldn't be the person her sensei wanted her to be._

_Anko looked up into his eyes, and when he saw her thoughts there his eyes narrowed. His grip on the spy loosened and the man surged up in desperation, knocking her hand with the kunai aside and ready to kill her. Anko acted without thinking, and when he stopped, gurgling before her, she looked down to see her other hand with another kunai buried in his midsection and angled up to reach behind the ribs, piercing his heart. She stared at the blood dripping over her hand and to the floor, and watched as blood dribbled from his lips. His breathing rattled as blood filled his pierced lung. She couldn't even remember drawing the weapon._

_She pulled the kunai out as he fell at her feet. He coughed a few times and spluttered more blood and then was still. The sight was mesmerising. She was watching a man die – a man that _she _had killed._

_Orochimaru crouched down to check his pulse, getting some blood on his fingers. He looked up at her with an unreadable expression. "He's dead."_

_Something inside her broke then. Some integral part of her that formed her conscience and sanity. She watched the Sannin nod his approval and stand to look down at the body of the spy who had found out about his experiments, and thus had to be eliminated before he told the Konoha council._

_She watched him deliberately lick the blood from his fingers while keeping his eyes locked with hers, and she looked down at her own blood-drenched hands. She stared at her crimson palms, watching them shake as she shook inside for something to fill the holes inside her, to fix the crack in her soul she had broken ..._

"_Do you want it, Anko?" He was always watching. He knew everything._

"_Sensei, I ..." She stared, and he watched her conflict. He had turned away before she raised her hand to her mouth, knowing the outcome already. Blood stained her lips, and she looked down at the man she had just killed with a kunai through the heart. She could taste his blood in her mouth, and it gave her such a feeling of power._

...o..o.o..o...

She knew she'd left with him then, all those years ago, but the memory of standing over the dead body lingered, and the taste of blood came sharply. Anko was caught up in a dream-like state, staring at the blood on her hands and focussing on its taste in her mouth so that it was only when _his_ voice came that she realised she wasn't dreaming.

"Anko," he was stroking her cheek like he had so often before, "Come back, Anko."

A feeling welled up inside her – a feeling of absolute dread and despair. She turned her head, and saw something ... _two_ somethings lying on the ground a short way away from her. She shied away from what she was seeing, from the red she could see on her hands and the copper tang in her mouth. She turned into Orochimaru's body and hid her face against his shoulder, shivering.

He looped his one arm around her waist, pulling her tighter against him while he held her back gently with the other.

Anko's mind was frozen, and she pressed closely against his warm comfort without real thoughts on _who_ was giving her solace. She was a child again, and she needed him, and he was there.

Anko didn't register the arrival of Kurenai or a number of other ANBU. She didn't notice how her friend stared in shock from her red-stained hands to the _somethings_ on the floor because she refused to see them. She refused to see their expressions when Orochimaru swept her up into his arms and how he smirked at them when she turned her head into his shoulder without resistance before he leapt away. She refused to hear Kurenai call her name, because she could not be taken back _there_ were something had happened that her mind shied away from.

She was exhausted, and she felt safe, and everything faded into dreamless sleep.


	10. Ch10: Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Here's another chapter - I hope some of you are enjoying what I'm coming up with - who knows where I'm getting it from! Oh, and if there are any inconsistencies please forgive me - as the cliche goes, I'm only human ;) I'm sorry I can't give definite update times, but the next will only be after Christmas sometime, maybe after New Year. For those of you who celebrate the holiday: hope you have a Merry Christmas, and for those who don't I hope you have a great holiday!

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 10

**Trapped**

Anko woke up feeling like she was being suffocated. She surged upwards into a sitting position, shoving the breathing mask off her face, and coughed until it felt like her lungs were shredded. A hand passed her a glass of water, and she started raising it to her lips before her senses caught up with her. The kunoichi's hand snapped out to curl around the throat of a silver-haired shinobi with glasses. The man's lips curled in a small smile.

"It's just water, Anko-san. You have my word."

Anko let go of him when the coughing started again. She brought her hand away from her mouth when it passed, drinking the water and staring at the blood speckled on her palm.

"You're body has taken more strain than it can currently handle with the two seals acting on it." He smiled slightly at her again, but she wasn't fooled by the fake friendliness that he was notorious for. "With proper care you should be fine."

Anko took a deep breath, and stared intensely at the man. "Kabuto."

Orochimaru's infamous servant smiled widely and he adjusted his glasses before spreading his hands. "Welcome to Sound, Anko-san."

"Cut the crap, Kabuto. Why am I here?"

"Because you chose to come here, Anko-san. I suppose once you've been in Orochimaru-sama's service it's hard to leave, yes?"

Anko bared her teeth in a feral grin. "Well, you wouldn't know, would you? You've never taken a crap without his permission."

"I'm sure you'll find the leash has gotten a lot shorter since he last let you go, Anko. But I'm sure you'll get used to it." He smiled slyly, knowing the next words would hurt. "After all, you've never been off a leash, especially after you left Orochimaru. They never trusted you enough."

Anko's heart clenched. He was right. The Council had never trusted her after she'd served under Orochimaru, even after the Sandaime vouched for her innocence. Because of that, she'd never been sent on high-security missions and hadn't been allowed to join ANBU. It still burned, and of course out of anyone Kabuto would know. His intelligence-gathering skills, his _spying_ skills, were second to none.

Kabuto seemed to study her and the readouts he was getting from the computers before she ripped the wires and sensors off her. He smiled at her suddenly, after a number of moments punctuated by her grinding her teeth in anger. "Well, it looks like the medication is helping with your control." he said finally.

"What?" she snapped. She hated the cold sterility of the room, the lack of windows and the cold stone walls. It all put her on edge. But more than anything, Kabuto rubbed her the wrong way.

He was putting on the friendly act again. "I gave you some medication to help your emotional control and thus the control of the snake serpent. I'm sure you've noticed you have the most problems when your emotions are heightened. We can't have you going out of control again."

"I don't see how it matters." a flat, blank, dead voice came from a dark shadow standing in one doorway. "I'd just kill her."

Kabuto's smile became even more strained. His eyes flashed with anger, but his voice was calm and cool as he spoke to the other man. "Ah, but Orochimaru-sama would not be at all pleased, Sasuke-san."

Anko's eyes widened as Uchiha Sasuke stepped forward into the light of the room. It had been a number of months since he'd left Konoha, and many more since she had seen him this close. His hair was slightly longer than she remembered, and he'd adopted one of the Sound-style robes. He was just as haughty as she remembered, but his face was paler and his eyes darker, more haunted and dead. Like a void, they sucked in all light and radiated none.

He ignored her completely. "And I will not be pleased if this means more time taken from my training."

"I'm sure he thought she could make an interesting sparing partner for you, Sasuke-san. A reminder of what you left behind." His eyes shone as he made the comment deliberately, meaning to dig at Sasuke's betrayal of Konoha. "I'm sorry we couldn't bring Kakashi or Sakura, and I don't see Naruto-kun as one who would defect, do you?"

Sasuke said nothing, but the murder that flashed across his eyes with a swirl of red made Anko's adrenaline kick in. It was a primal survival instinct when faced with the raw danger and death she saw in the boy's eyes.

"You really are lost, aren't you?" she asked softly. "I hope none of them have to see you again like this. It would break Kakashi's heart."

"What is he to you?" Sasuke sneered, so much like Orochimaru it was frightening. "Your fuck-partner?"

The kunoichi glared, furious. "And what are you to Orochimaru?" she snarled, "His fuck-_toy_?"

She watched Sasuke's eyes bleed red in fury. But suddenly, just as Kabuto thought he was going to have to intervene, Sasuke's eyes went back to black and his tense stance relaxed. He turned away from them both, and sauntered to the door. He paused for a moment at the entrance, just long enough to throw the words over his shoulder before disappearing.

"No. As always that's _your_ position."

She had trapped herself in this cycle of self-destruction that began and ended with Orochimaru, and there was nothing she could do about it. She could feel it then, the serpent welling up inside her with blood, only blood, occupying its mindless being. She wanted to scream and rage and roar her rejection of everything both Sasuke and Kabuto had said. But there was a black hole inside her that sucked away any satisfaction she may have got from any feeling, any action. Kabuto's medicine dulled her extreme emotions and left her feeling as numb as she ever had.

Anko was left, shaking with exhaustion, able only to mutter: "I'm going to kill ... kill you all ..."

"Of course you are, Anko-san," Kabuto smiled, helping her up. "I'll show you to your new room in the mean time."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

After a number of days, Anko had settled in to a strange routine: get up, eat, train, eat, train, eat, bathe, sleep. Kabuto hadn't been worried at all that she may decide to wander back to Konoha. "You've cut your ties there," was all he would say with a knowing look in his eye. She didn't like the feeling that he knew more about the time when she'd left than she did. The kunoichi didn't remember much of it, really. Even her dreams shied away from it, and the thought of going back made her sick to the stomach.

She hadn't seen Orochimaru at all, and saw Sasuke only rarely. The boy was as aloof as always, and she'd given up trying to provoke him. Who was she to point fingers? _I left Konoha to follow Orochimaru for power, just like he did. I'm not any better._

The latest encampment of Sound creeped her out. Like all of Orochimaru's hideouts seemed to be, it was mostly underground. It had the most impressive defensive and concealment jutsus that she'd ever seen though the Sannin appeared to be short on good shinobi subordinates. Anko had beaten all of those she'd managed to lure to spar with her baring Kabuto and Sasuke who both refused. Kabuto had feigned polite refusal, while Sasuke had merely sneered at her and walked away without saying a word. Most she beat easily, though when she caught the Uchiha watching once he didn't seem very impressed, and none of them used the curse seal if they even had it.

Strange screams and sounds echoed down the desolate corridors, and when Anko asked Kabuto about them he was blunt.

"They're some of Orochimaru-sama's experiments, Anko-san. From what I've heard you know a little about that." He smiled slightly at her. "Would you like to help?"

Anko had backed away, shaking her head. It brought back too many images of green tanks and floating corpses. She stayed away from him for a while after that. He was too much like Amachi, only worse, and it made her feel sick.

She made a point of not asking where Orochimaru was, or what he wanted from her. It was partly because she didn't want to show any weakness, partly because she did not want to seem like she wanted to see him, and partly because she just _didn't want to know_. In a way, she was afraid. The daily routine of training, walking through the corridors of Sound, and trading insults with Kabuto and Sasuke was comforting in a twisted way. She had an intuition that it would all change on appearance of the Sannin.

When Kabuto caught her pacing he'd smiled and told her that the Sannin was away meeting some contacts, and would be back within the next few days. She wanted to punch the smirk off his face, but she couldn't blame the serpent for the lack of control. The spirit had started becoming more and more restless, and Kabuto had had to up her dosage when he caught her about to beat the shit out of a lower ranked shinobi who'd dared to comment on her arrival in Sound.

It was so easy, in the routine, to forget about Konoha and Kakashi.

It was another day of the same when Anko was sitting on a narrow bed in Kabuto's medical quarters while he tested her blood and health yet again. She swung her legs idly, twirling a kunai in her right hand, and yawned ostentatiously. Kabuto ignored her deliberate sign of boredom.

"Well?" she asked, fake cheerfulness dripping from her voice. "Am I healthy enough to suit you, Kabuto?"

The shinobi grinned slightly, his trademark half-smile. "Yes, Anko-san. You're well enough to do a few missions once Orochimaru-sama gives his leave."

She looked away, switching the kunai to her left hand where she twirled it with equal dexterity. "Good. I'm getting sick of this place. These underground hideouts are bloody depressing."

Sasuke walked in at that moment for his own check-up. They weren't voluntary, and Anko could guess it was because Orochimaru didn't want any damage to his precious vessel. Sasuke bore them with his usual aloofness and sharp comments.

Anko leaned against the doorway, watching with half an eye as Sasuke pulled his robes to his waist, and held out an arm for Kabuto to take a blood sample. He turned his head away when the other shinobi checked his heart rate and blood pressure. Anko ran her eyes over the boy, seeing what all his fan-girls had seen in him – his smouldering good looks and perfection. But the compassion, the emotions other than hate and desire for revenge, were glaringly absent.

"Aren't you tired yet, Sasuke, of being treated like a prize possession?" she couldn't help but ask, if only to get some reaction out of him.

He turned his head slowly to look at her, his face and dark eyes expressionless. She knew he would use his Sharingan on her, torture her in her own head for hours, with no remorse. But she knew Naruto and Sakura, even Kakashi though he hid it, believed that this boy still had his humanity buried deep inside. Naruto still believed he could save him, but Anko thought that he would be too late.

She looked away from him, seeing through the stone walls of the room. "You know, I was on a mission with Naruto-kun not too long ago. He's an amazing boy. His power keeps growing exponentially, but more than that his heart grows faster. He believes in the goodness of people, and never seems to give up on anyone he gives his trust to. He really might become Hokage some day." She turned to lock eyes with the Uchiha. "But his trust may get him killed before then, won't it?"

Sasuke kept looking at her, but said nothing. He did not give away any hint of concern over his former companion and best friend, or at her insinuations that _he_ might kill him one day. Finally he said quietly, "I told him to forget about trying to help me."

She smiled bitterly at him. "When has Naruto ever given up on anything?" When he didn't reply, she continued. "Kakashi was almost killed by Uchiha Itachi just before I came here. Did you know that?" Sasuke tensed visibly at the sound of his brother's name. Kabuto watched the exchange through the corner of his eye.

Anko looked away. "He's going to kill Naruto if he isn't stopped, though they seem to have backed off for a few years." She paused, and then followed quietly: "I want to kill him."

In a flash, Sasuke had his hand around her throat. His eyes burned with rage that ran so deep there was no sign of its end. He seemed to be struggling to contain it, and his eyes bled crimson. Kabuto stood, ready to intervene, but Sasuke didn't use his Sharingan on her. Anko kept her eyes on his and didn't struggle.

"No one ..." Sasuke panted harshly with the force of his fury, "_No one kills Itachi except for me_!"

Anko smirked. "We'll see who gets to him first."

Sasuke gritted his teeth and was about to answer, when they both stiffened with an unmistakable feeling. He let her go and took a step back, and they both reached for their curse seals. The pulse that ran through Anko's was partly painful, partly something else that she didn't want to examine too closely.

Kabuto watched both of their reactions, and felt the change in the building that heralded his master's return. Orochimaru's aura, his presence, caused an almost visible change in his subordinates. It was a tenseness, a fearfulness and an eagerness to please. In some, it was adoration or admiration, or respect at the very least. Every single person feared him to some extent, including the three in the medical room. It could almost be called stupidity _not_ to fear the powerful Sannin who to varying degrees held their lives in his hands.

"I will go attend to Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto informed the other two ex-Konoha nin. He smirked at them both, "I hope you can try not to kill each other in the mean time."

Anko and Sasuke glared at his back as he left. She glanced sideways at the Uchiha boy, and wondered how he felt at Orochimaru's return. He seemed tense, but his eyes burned with dark eagerness. _Is he so keen to learn from Orochimaru that he looks forward to having him back? Is he so blinded by vengeance that he doesn't care how he gets power?_ Anko sighed and cursed quietly her own stupidity. _Of course he doesn't care. He's shown that often enough, and said it often enough. And I'm here for power too, aren't I?_

The kunoichi left Sasuke to his brooding, and went to the training ground she'd come to think of as her own. She decided firmly to forget about Orochimaru for as long as she could.

Anko moved through her training exercises seamlessly, sliding from one stance to another and punctuating her movements with kicks and jabs, back-flips and twists of her feet. It was a graceful dance, hypnotising and deceptive because it was far more dangerous, and the moves packed far more power, than it seemed. It was easy to forget other things when her mind was focussed on the shifts of her body, the flicks of her hands. She even managed to ignore the odd twinge in her seal, though that was far harder.

Finally night fell, with no word from Orochimaru and no disturbance of her training. Anko stopped at last, after a number of hours of peace. Training was the closest she came to such a feeling. The night air was welcoming, cool and fresh. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the darkness and silence like a drug. After Orochimaru had 'cured' her fears of the dark, it was only when she slept that any lingering worries caused her to shut her windows and curl tightly into herself.

But now, standing in the dark, moonless night, she felt only a calm weariness that couldn't last.

Anko entered the fortress again reluctantly. It was a different kind of darkness to that outside, and much more oppressive. She moved through the stone corridors, like those on Kikaijima, towards what had become 'her' room. She turned the last corner, and saw his silhouette just past the doorway to her room. She wasn't really surprised that he'd sought her out. He liked keeping an eye on his recent acquisitions.

"Orochimaru ..." Anko almost sighed. "I don't feel like dealing with you right now."

"Anko," he said with a mixture of amusement and disapproval, "We haven't seen each other in a while, and yet you're so cold ..." He repeated the lines he'd spoken to her in the Forest of Death during the Chunin exams with the same mocking tone.

The Sannin moved forward, and the faint light brought out the pale glow of his skin, and the gold of his eyes. His ebony hair gleamed, and she was taken back by how striking he was. The lose robe barely hid his physical power, and his aura permeated the air and rough stone. His smirk invoked equal measures of love and hate in his old student, but she couldn't deny the attraction. She'd always been attracted to him, even as a child when he touched her shoulder and praised her skill, even when he'd betrayed her as he stroked her face and broke her soul, even as an adult when he'd caressed her cheek and shared his blood with her in a ravaging kiss.

She didn't know what he saw in her. She didn't know that he saw untamed power to be claimed, that he saw a broken soldier to twist and use. She didn't know that he saw the child who had caught his interest for so long, and the beautiful grown woman who had caught it again. That he hated anyone else touching what he had possessed, and that he was going to reclaim his possessions and leave no doubt at all about what was _his_.

He studied her without saying a word for a number of moments, before he gave a slight chuckle. "So how are you enjoying Sound, Anko?" he asked her at last.

The kunoichi shrugged, trying to relax. "Well enough, I suppose. Kabuto's been insufferably polite mostly, and Sasuke's been ..." she paused, finding words to describe the younger shinobi, "just plain insufferable." Her mouth widened in a feral grin as she looked away from the other shinobi, "I must say, I don't think much of your other followers."

"Really?" Orochimaru moved towards her slowly, and she didn't really notice.

"They were pretty easy to beat, actually. Not much of a contest at all. Having opponents whose faces keep hitting the dirt just gets boring." Anko smirked. "Can't say I didn't enjoy it though."

"Perhaps I'll have to find something a bit more challenging for you to do." His voice was low, dark, and Anko looked up in surprise to see how close he was: barely a few steps away. Strands of his hair fell to cover part of his right eye, but it didn't dim their intensity or the suggestion in his voice.

Anko didn't realise she was backing away from him until her back hit a stone wall, and she tensed at being cornered by him in his own fortress. If there had been no help near for her before, when they had fought in the forest around Konoha or even in the Forest of Death, there was less than none now.

He moved steadily closer, and the kunoichi felt none of her characteristic defiance or fierceness arise to protect her. She just felt weak, and trapped.

"Stay away from me," she whispered, closing her eyes and turning her head to the side so she wouldn't have to see the way he looked at her.

He slid his hand down the side of her face, across her jaw to turn her back towards him, and then back to caress her cheek, run across the curve of her neck and finally to rest on the curse seal. Anko flinched at the contact, even though his touch was cool and soothing.

"Anko," he purred, brushing her hair out of her eyes which she reluctantly opened. She avoided his gaze, knowing his ability to hypnotise with them like a snake, but it didn't save her from the hypnosis his touch was putting her under already. One hand massaged lightly the sharp bone of her hip, while the other moved softly against her cheek and throat. Her skin tingled and it started up an aching burn that even Kakashi had been unable to create, especially with such modest methods.

The thought of Kakashi woke the kunoichi up a little, and Anko shook her head in denial and tried to slide along the wall away from the man. Orochimaru blocked her path with an arm against the wall, a slight hiss of disapproval passing his lips.

She looked into his now narrowed eyes, startled. "Let me go, Orochimaru." she demanded, defiance beginning to rise at last.

"You do not belong to him." he replied, angry as he followed the line of her thoughts to Kakashi. He could read her so well.

"I'm not your whore!" she snarled, swinging her hand to slap him.

The Sannin caught her hand before it hit, using it to pull her sharply against him.

"No," he smiled, running his tongue across his lips, "You're far more than that." With those words, he leaned in and kissed her.

He ran his lips smoothly across her own, expertly tipping her head back and to one side. When she opened her mouth in a gasp he took full advantage. When he bit her bottom lip harshly, the shock of pain/pleasure was too much for Anko not to respond. The kiss became something darker, more savage, and she felt like he was devouring her whole. It made her feel amazing, and even more fiercely aching for more.

When he repeated his actions of the last time they'd kissed, and shoved her roughly against the wall pressing his knee between hers, she moaned and gripped him harder again as well. His one hand held her hip tightly against him, while the thumb of his other hand ran over the side of her breast. He was dominating her senses completely, like the drug he was.

But before Anko could lose her mind completely, Orochimaru pulled back again like he had done before. Only this time, there were no ANBU. His breathing was heavy as he ran his thumb over her bottom lip and he watched her lust-hazed eyes.

Anko licked her lips and gathered her breath with difficulty. She raised her eyes to lock them with her old sensei, and the sensuous look in his golden snake eyes made her shiver.

"Orochimaru, what ..." she murmured, lips almost numb and starting to ache from the bite he'd given her.

"A small taste of what I can give you, Anko," he replied, running his hand along the bare skin on her arm again. "But now is not the time. Not when your control is so tenuous." He watched as she shook the confusion off, appraising her rising anger at being manipulated like that, as well as her understanding. She could feel the tension inside herself, and the strain of what had happened between the two of them on the medication Kabuto had given her to suppress her emotions. The insanity of the serpent was only a hair's breadth away.

He smirked as he backed away into the darkness. "I will call on you for control-training tomorrow, and you will complete a mission for me soon."

And then he was gone, again. Anko swore loudly, turning to smash her fist into the stone wall without caring about the pain. Pain had never frightened her, and only served as an outlet to her frustration.

"Fucking _bastard_!" she spat, wishing there had been more of the former ... she wanted to find him again and jump him so _badly_ ...

Anko went to her room, slamming the door behind her and cursing everything about the situation. She cursed Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sasuke, the Sandaime and Godaime, even Genma and Kakashi. It was a way of skirting around the realities of the situation, and how close she'd come to fucking Orochimaru. She forced herself to think of it in those crude, brutal terms, because that was all there was to it. She knew, deep down, that he was only doing it as another form of control over her, but some childish part of her heart clung to the trust and innocent love it had always held for her old sensei. As twisted, cruel and _evil_ as she knew he was, she couldn't really deny him anything and that was more than dangerous – it was suicidal, for her body and for her remnants of a soul.

Anko flung herself on to the hard bed, punching her pillow into submission and a more comfortable shape. She sighed deeply as the muscles around her spine relaxed, but she was still frustrated.

The kunoichi flipped over and stared up at the bare, harsh ceiling.

_Well_, she thought to herself, resigned, _I know what _I'm_ going to dream about tonight._


	11. Ch11: Whole

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Here's another chapter, and I hope no one is put off by the turn of events! Any mistakes, please let me know because I am far from perfect. Thanks so much to the following people for reviewing the last few chapters:

BloodRedShadows; Makoto-Koto; Chryseis Wyvernsen; LostsoulofRegret; Alucards-Vampire-BITCH; Animes-Tribute and Teberz

Thanks guys, they really make me smile and I appreciate every single one :) Enjoy reading!

PS: more Kakashi in the next chapter ;)

.c.c.c..c.c.c

Chapter 11

**Whole**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Sure enough, after her encounter with Orochimaru Anko's sleep was plagued with disturbing and erotic dreams. It wasn't unusual for her to dream about her old sensei, but the content definitely did not arise from vague memories of when she had been a child. No, in the some of the dreams she was much more than a child ...

Some elements remained the same, of course. Anko could never escape from the blood, or the snake. The serpent wound around the very fabric of her dreams, turning many into nightmares of death and destruction. It brought back moments in her life she wasn't sure even happened, and many moments she didn't want to remember.

...o..o.o..o...

_The young girl opened her eyes, instantly alert like she had been taught. She looked around, expecting to see her sensei within eyesight, or at least evidence that he was nearby. But the fire was cold, and his packs were gone. She was alone in the dark, with nightmare creatures stalking her every step. Only the note made her believe he had ever existed:_

Find me in three days time, and not before.

Survive alone or you will fail.

_The tigers almost caught her when she reacted with panic. It was a lesson about the life of a ninja, that they could not allow emotion to distract them from the mission. And her mission was survival. Even though the darkness made her short of breath, and every sound froze her heart, she had to kill to survive._

_By the end she was covered in surface wounds and blood that mostly wasn't hers. _

_She was all of ten years old._

_He had her against the bark of the tree, and she tasted his blood in her mouth as he kissed her. He ran his one hand along the side of her thigh, while the other held her throat so that she couldn't escape. But even if she could have, she wouldn't. Her one arm held his shoulder tightly while her other hand ran through his ebony silk hair, holding him close and taking in everything._

_She lifted her one leg to wrap around his waist, and he lifted her up so that both were wrapped around him. He was a drug, an addiction, and she couldn't get enough._

_They were alone, and weren't about to stop._

_This time, the ANBU didn't come._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko woke feeling angry and frustrated again, and decidedly bad-tempered. When she stamped into the eating area, and grabbed a piece of fruit and a few (many) sticks of dango (which she hadn't taken long to introduce into the Sound menu ... for breakfast, lunch _and_ supper ... after having a long 'chat' to the cook), she growled and kicked her way to a table. She ate quickly, glowering at all the unlucky shinobi around her who were up early as well. After she'd finished eating the dango, however, her mood changed rapidly. The Sound nin felt uneasy as soon as she started grinning at everyone, because they feared her feral good humour more than they did her grumpy bad temper. The one involved a lot more sadistic torture than the other.

Kabuto entered the room, and moved purposefully towards Anko. He sat down at the table, and a number of the shinobi shifted away from them both. Anko smiled at the medic, eyes half-closed in an edgy pleasant mood.

Kabuto half-smiled back at her, adjusting his glasses as he glanced at the uneasy state of the other shinobi in the room. Most were bolting their food, to get out of there as soon as possible, and these were men who served _Orochimaru_ for god's sake.

"So, Anko-san," he smirked, "Still terrorising the soldiers?"

"Not really," Anko smiled back, "I could do a lot worse." Her hand flicked out, a barely noticeable blur that flung a shuriken to lodge in the doorway a bare inch in front of a shinobi who had been leaving, and whose quick instincts to duck back had been the only thing to save his nose. In the beginning when she had done things like that, the man would have challenged her to a spar to get revenge, but they had soon stopped doing that. Although the shinobi were good, it was only Anko's past that had stopped her from joining the ANBU and she had, of course, been trained personally by Orochimaru when she was just a child. The lessons learned young were the ones that stuck best, especially with such an uncompromising and strict sensei.

"I'm sure," he humoured her, noticing the dilation of her pupils, and the dark note in her voice. _The medication is wearing off quicker again. The spirit is either becoming stronger, or Anko's emotions are more intense._ Kabuto was observant, and he pretty much knew everything that happened in Sound except for what Orochimaru actively kept from him. He knew something had happened between his master and the kunoichi, and he had his suspicions. _So from that ... I would guess it is the latter. My, my, Orochimaru-sama ... what could you have done to rattle Anko so? _

He watched Anko follow the movements of a number of the shinobi in the room, like a snake watches mice before striking for one. _I wonder ..._ Kabuto cleared his throat, and said quietly, "Well I wish I could offer you other entertainment than tormenting Sound shinobi ..." He made his tone smooth and suggestive, but not overly so.

Anko snapped back to look at him, her surprise showing clearly before her expression settled into something more devious. "Really?" she purred, "Well I could think of a few things ..." Her entire attitude changed, with her movements becoming more smooth and sinuous, more seductive and suggestive, and Kabuto had to remind himself who this now tempting kunoichi really was. The images that sprang to his mind were far from appropriate.

Kabuto shook the thoughts off, and chuckled lightly. "You must have been good at undercover work as such a ... _talented_ kunoichi."

Anko grinned, back to her usual self, and shrugged modestly but with an underlining bitterness, "I never really had much opportunity for undercover work."

"Ah," said the spy quietly, understanding. Konoha had never trusted her enough for such work, like they'd never trusted her enough to be an ANBU, or even a full jonin.

Anko stood suddenly, and strolled past the spy. She paused as she passed him, running her fingers lightly along his arm and murmured: "Wouldn't you like to know how _talented_ I really am ..."

She carried on walking to the doorway and stopped again shortly only when Kabuto called after her: "Orochimaru-sama wants to see you." And then she left.

The medic sat at the table for a moment longer, cursing being male and thus so easily influenced by feminine wiles. But he couldn't help laughing quietly because truly he _would_ like to see how talented the kunoichi, the regular partner of the famous Copy Nin, really was ...

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The encounter with Kabuto had cheered Anko up immensely. It reminded her of her verbal sparing with Genma, and Anko enjoyed the slight release of tension in the relatively harmless teasing. She shook her head as she thought about it. She never would have believed that she could ever enjoy the company of a person like Kabuto. But then again, she'd been raised in Orochimaru's charge, hadn't she? _That accounts for a measure of bad taste_, she thought mockingly.

The good mood helped her make it to the door of Orochimaru's chambers, and even through them. It restored her spirit enough to allow her to make a mocking salute to her sensei while trying to block any memory of her dreams from showing on her face. The man sat in his chair in semi-darkness, as he seemed to prefer. Sasuke wasn't present, which left the two of them alone.

"You called for me, Orochimaru?" she smiled at the Sannin, and if it was a bit wary and tense she gave no other sign of her emotions.

The whites of his teeth were visible in the dark as he smiled back at her. "Yes, Anko. I think it's time I taught you some measure of control." Orochimaru stood, and stepped towards her and out of the shadows.

Anko suppressed a shudder as he came close, but how could she hide her tension from the man who had taught her most of what she knew? His knowing smirk annoyed the hell out of her. "How do you plan to do that?" she asked him before he got uncomfortably close. Though this was Orochimaru; if he was a couple kilometres away it was uncomfortably close.

"You made a mistake in your dealings with the serpent when you sealed it." he replied, "And that needs to be rectified."

"What do you mean?" Anko frowned, not understanding, "I followed the instructions of the jutsu. All the seals were drawn correctly."

"Part of your deal was that you would always be in control, is that correct?"

"Yes, but it didn't uphold that. There are things that I ... that I can't remember." The kunoichi looked away, unable to look in his cold eyes and see some hint of what she didn't _want_ to remember.

"Ah, but there you are wrong, Anko," Orochimaru said softly, amused. "Some part of you _was_ always in control. It just may not have been a part that you consciously acknowledge."

"But I wouldn't have done ... things ... I wouldn't have just run away like that!"

The snake's smile twisted cruelly. "Why do you think I took you on as a student, Anko?"

Anko shrugged, glaring at him. "Because you wanted someone to test the seal on? Because you're evil and a traitor and you wanted more power or another vessel? How the hell should I know?"

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes, and she had to look away again. "Parts of those reasons, I suppose. But no, the main reason was that I saw pieces of myself in you."

She froze, stunned. "I'm not like you." she denied, hearing Kakashi echo the words in her mind. _You're not like him._ It was a mantra that she'd clung to in the darkest times, when she thought her soul was dying, twisted beyond help. It was something she'd actually _believed_ for a while after remembering her rejection of him on Kikaijima, and something that he'd made her doubt when she'd seen him again and he told her that she'd been an active part of his experiments, helping him.

He sneered at her, mocking and knowing. "Really? Then why did you kill the spy we caught, all those years ago? Why did you kill two Konoha ANBU in cold blood, Anko?"

"I didn't." she shook her head, shuddering. "I didn't! You're lying!"

"Come now, Anko," he sighed, as if he was weary of her denials. "You killed them, like you killed the spy, only a few days ago. Their blood soaked the forest floor. Don't you remember? Then other ANBU and that jonin, Yuuhi Kurenai as I recall, appeared and I helped you escape."

"It wasn't me!" She refused the memories, tried to fight them away, but they returned too easily.

...o..o.o..o...

_A feeling welled up inside her – a feeling of absolute dread and despair. She turned her head, and saw something ... _two_ somethings lying on the ground a short way away from her. She shied away from what she was seeing, from the red she could see on her hands and the copper tang in her mouth._

_Anko didn't register the arrival of Kurenai or a number of other ANBU. She didn't notice how her friend stared in shock from her red-stained hands to the _somethings_ on the floor because she refused to see them. She refused to see their expressions when Orochimaru swept her up into his arms and how he smirked at them when she turned her head into his shoulder without resistance before he leapt away. She refused to hear Kurenai call her name, because she could not be taken back there where something had happened that her mind shied away from._

...o..o.o..o...

"No, it wasn't me ..." she whispered, broken.

"It _was_ you, Anko," he contradicted, taking time to burn the truth into her mind. "You killed them because you allowed your subconscious mind to get out of control using the spirit's power. You allowed your _darker_ side to take over after suppressing it for so long, and those deaths were the result."

Anko fell to her knees at his feet, swaying with her head bowed and tears stinging her eyes and threatening to fall. Her heart was beating so fast, under the crushing weight of the realisation of what _she had done_. She hadn't only burned her bridges back to Konoha, but she had spread their ashes to the winds. _They will never let me go back ... They will never take me back even if I kill the whole of Akatsuki and Orochimaru! They will never forgive me for killing two ANBU! Kakashi ..._ Her thoughts were dark and despairing and hopeless.

"Please ..." she said softly, not looking up at him, "Please help me ..."

Orochimaru smiled benevolently, and reached down with his hand to smooth her hair and lift her chin so she was looking at him. "Of course, Anko. I will help you regain control by assimilating both sides of yourself into one whole."

Gone was the defiant and enraged Anko who had sworn death to her sensei and the enemies of Konoha. Gone was her spirit and sharp edginess. For the moment, all that was left was the young child who looked up at her sensei, offering her life through her eyes to the only one who was there to help her.

Orochimaru looked down, taking all she offered and more with a triumphant edge to his smile that she refused to see. Her broken soul was taking a downward spiral into the comforting darkness he offered, and she couldn't escape.

He ran his thumb across her cheek below her eye, wiping away invisible tears. "When you rejected my offer, and I was forced to erase parts of your memory," he began quietly, "You cut off a part of your consciousness, and suppressed it. That is the part that is taking control when your emotions are heightened, and the only way to regain that control is for you to accept the darker part of yourself."

"But it's not really me ..." she murmured, her voice weary and defeated but with denial still holding strong. "I'm not ... I can't _accept_ what I did."

The Sannin shrugged, expressionless. "If you cannot accept who you are, Anko, then you are lost." She had to look away from his penetrating gaze again, feeling like he could see right through her. "When you are ready, we will use Sasuke-kun's Sharingan to help you find yourself. Until then, you're useless to me."

He was so talented at striking her when she was the most vulnerable. _Useless?_ What was she now but useless for anything and everything? She couldn't even control herself! He bared her weakness and flaws so easily, and manipulated her until she had no choice but to follow his lead and accept his help. She _knew_ what she had done ... the horrors of it, the betrayal of her home. But worse maybe, the way a part of her had _enjoyed_ killing those ANBU so much. She'd enjoyed watching them die, and she'd enjoyed tasting their lifeblood. It made _her_ feel more alive, more powerful.

Oh, she'd always been slightly twisted, she'd enjoyed missions that involved danger and death, but those were _missions_. Every shinobi and kunoichi had to be able to kill, many even took some enjoyment in it because it affirmed their own skill. But killing just for the sake of it? Killing for no reason but the rush? Only sick criminals, missing-nin, did that. Warlords with no conscience, shinobi like Orochimaru ... and now her.

"I can't live like this." she said quietly. She could feel the hunger, the clamouring for more, and it was too much for her to handle.

"Then don't." His eyes were hard, ruthless. "If you don't believe you have the strength to do what needs to be done, then you can go back to Konoha, go back to _Kakashi_," he spat the name like it was poison, "and see what you have left there. But I can tell you now, Anko, that there is _nothing_."

"Nothing?" she replied, voice rising in volume as her ire rose in response to his taunting. "_Nothing_?!" Anko stood, pulling herself to her feet, gathering together the fragments of her soul, so that she could stare him in the eye and he could see how she _felt_ about him and his words. "_Nothing_ is what _you_ left me! Because of you, how _you _betrayed _me_, the rest of my life burned away into _nothing_ but the desire for revenge and death! Because of _you_ my life is screwed up, and any good thing I _might_ have had ..." _Kakashi _"I couldn't keep because I knew that anything that gets too close just ... just hits this void that _you_ left, where my heart should be!"

Anko's fists were shaking at her sides, because she wanted to lash out at him so much that it _hurt_. And he ... he didn't say a word, didn't move. "You fucking bastard," she snarled while he remained expressionless, "I _hate_ you so much that every time I see you all I can remember is what you've done, the innocent people you killed for your _experiments_ so that _you_ can live longer! Who the fuck do you think you are? A g_od_?" She laughed bitterly, and waved her hands expansively about the bare stone room. "Well I think you're falling a bit short if _that's_ what you're aiming for ..."

Orochimaru moved swiftly closer, smoothly grabbing her one wrist and sliding it behind her waist so that he was holding her close while restraining that arm. Anko swung her other fist at his face, but he caught that too and slid it behind her as well, moving in too close for her to kick at him. Both his arms were around her, restraining her own arms behind her back and arching her body into his.

He smirked into her furious face, noting the uncertainty and panic she hid there as well. And the lust that lingered beneath it all. "There's the fiery Anko that I know, come out at last. Hate me, Anko?" he chuckled, "I don't think you really hate me. I believe you are angry, and lost. I believe you are afraid, but you don't hate me." He leaned in close, and she was intoxicated by him again. She could escape his grip if she tried, but ... He smelled so _good_, like bitter dark chocolate and something else that made her head spin. His lips brushed her ear, while he breathed softly: "_You have nothing left but me_."

He pulled back and twirled her around in his grip until she was facing away from him, her back against his chest. He rested his lips against her shoulder so that she could feel them curl in a smirk as her wide eyes caught the swirling black tears against a sea of crimson that was Sasuke's Sharingan. Anko was immobilised as her conscience faded away and she was sucked into Sasuke's world, but she faintly heard the Sannin speak again, just loud enough to understand:

"And you are mine."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

_Anko was standing on a crimson field that stretched to eternity. Everything was red – the clouds above, the ground below. Sasuke stood before her with his usual smile. No, it was slightly different ... _

"_You will be here until you are whole, Anko."_

"_Whole?" she asked, confused. "But I am whole."_

"_**No you aren't.**"_

_Anko turned around, and saw ... her mind shied away, but here it couldn't escape._

_The creature took a step forward, and grinned a feral smile that showed off its gleaming fangs. "**You pushed me away, but you can't escape me here.**"_

_The creature had arms and lips stained with deep red blood, and the seal of the snake spirit visible through the mesh clothing. It walked right up to her, and she saw the madness and darkness in its eyes._

_In her eyes._

_She was looking at herself._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

One moment, she was falling into Sasuke's Sharingan as he smirked cruelly, a copy of Orochimaru's own, and the next she was falling to the floor before the Sannin caught her. Anko felt sick, and strangely _full_ where she'd been hollow. There were no more clamouring voices inside, just peaceful silence. But at the same time, she felt like she'd _lost_ something, some part of herself, though that didn't make sense considering her new feeling of completeness.

Anko held her hand to her mouth, resisting the urge to throw up her breakfast that seemed to have been so long ago. "What ... what happened ..." she managed to force the words out.

Orochimaru looked up from watching her but still holding her steady about the waist, and narrowed his eyes at the smug Uchiha. "Well, Sasuke-kun? Did it work?" His voice was soft but with an underlying steel threat.

Sasuke didn't react to the warning, and continued to smirk. "Of course it worked. It was rather ... interesting. I haven't met many people whose minds are as fucked up as hers."

"Why can't she remember?" the Sannin asked. Anko was still trying to pull herself together, and wondering faintly why she didn't feel revolted at her sensei's touch. Even when she'd been ready to let him do what he wanted with her the previous night, she'd still felt that disgust at herself, but that was gone now.

The Uchiha shrugged, uncaring. "Something to do with the mental trauma of assimilating a subconscious personality. She may remember eventually."

"And the spirit?" Orochimaru added sharply.

"Still there." Sasuke tossed his head arrogantly, "Are you going to train me now? I'm tired of wasting time."

"I wouldn't call it 'wasting time'," the Sannin murmured softly to himself, but he motioned to Kabuto who had been standing in the shadows all that time. "Take her to her room, Kabuto, and check to see if there is any damage."

"There is no damage," Sasuke interrupted, angry at the insinuation that he might have made a mistake.

Orochimaru glanced at his future vessel, and handed the semi-concious Anko over to Kabuto before replying shortly. "Nevertheless, I want it done. Report to me at the training grounds, Kabuto."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama," the medic bowed. He bent to pick Anko up in his arms, and left with the kunoichi quietly.

"I don't know why you bother with her," Sasuke scowled as he walked with the Sannin to the grounds.

Orochimaru looked at his vessel from the corner of his eyes, recalling what Kabuto had said about the boy's 'friends': Naruto and Sakura. He obviously believed in a shinobi's superiority over kunoichi, and he looked forward to when Anko was recovered and the two could spar. _Then the boy will learn_. Also ... _Sakura ..._ He smirked, reading the boy's lack of interest or understanding of the opposite sex, or how attraction could be manipulated as a means to an end.

_'I don't know why you bother with her,' hmm? How amusingly naïve. _"No," he chuckled softly, with a darkness that made Sasuke suppress a shudder, "You wouldn't."


	12. Ch12: Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: This story still seems to be writing itself, even though I've got no clear idea what's going to happen next :) This chapter has more of our favourite Copy Nin, because I decided that he needs more attention and frankly I like writing about him. Thanks for the positive comments, they help keep me going. Oh, and I've been asked about putting in a lemon. I think a well-written lemon is worth including, but since I've never written one (this is the first fanfiction story I've ever written) it's a bit of a problem ;) I'm not going to rush it, and though I'd like to include one I only will if I think I can do it properly. I hope you enjoy reading, because that's what it's all about :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 12

**Lost**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Hatake Kakashi was a good shinobi. He followed orders, mostly, and completed more missions successfully than many others combined. Of course, he went on many more missions than other shinobi as well. He considered it an occupational hazard of being famous as the 'Copy Nin'. It also helped that many enemy shinobi were reluctant to deal with him _because_ he was well-known.

He had had a successful time in the ANBU as well, though few people knew _how_ successful. In fact, only his commander in ANBU and the Hokage (if he/she happened to look through the secret records) and a few fellow ANBU knew that Kakashi had excelled in almost all of his missions. He was intelligent, skilled and, if he said so himself, pretty good at improvising or charming his way through any situation. Many people even called him a prodigy.

But his friends were the only ones who could tell you all of them had been caught first-hand by his dry, and slightly wicked, sense of humour. They would tell you that he was hard to get close to, and very laid back. Maito Gai would say he was 'hip' and 'modern', and a worthy opponent. They would also tell you he didn't get angry very easily, but you'd have a hard time believing that if you saw him right at that moment.

Hatake Kakashi was not very happy. To put it less politely, he was fucking _pissed off_.

"_What?!_" he forced the words out through gritted teeth. "What do you mean they _lost the trail_?"

Tsunade rubbed her temples wearily, beginning to lose her own very short temper. "The ANBU lost the trail, Kakashi. It was Orochimaru for god's sake! What did you expect?" She held up her hand, forestalling his next question. "And before you ask, _no_ I do _not_ want you to go out there and see if you can do any better!"

Kakashi held himself stiffly rigid, reining in his anger. "Tsunade-sama," he began again, "I respectfully ask if I may take up the search for Mitarashi Anko."

The Godaime folded her fingers in front of her mouth, and studied him over her hands. "You are too close to this, Kakashi. You know Anko's history."

"That means nothing!" he replied furiously, and then forced his voice to calm, "Anko would not have gone with him. She's not like him."

"Shizune, call Yuuhi Kurenai in here now." Tsunade said softly.

The aide went to the door, her eyes wide from seeing Kakashi's rare display of temper. Kurenai walked in soon afterwards. It had been two days since Anko had left, and she still couldn't believe anything she'd seen. She'd been sworn to secrecy. The Godaime didn't want a story of another nin leaving Konoha, especially after killing two ANBU, reaching other villages just yet.

"Tell him, Kurenai." Tsunade ordered.

The kunoichi glanced at Kakashi, then back at the Godaime. "Tsunade-sama, are you sure?"

"Tell him."

"Tell me what?" Kakashi asked, worry threading through his voice under the anger. He looked at their faces, all three of the women, and almost didn't want to know. A part of him didn't want to know what they were hiding about Anko. _Anko ..._

Kurenai lifted her chin, steadying her stance. Kakashi recognised it. It was the posture of a soldier giving a report while distancing themselves from the content. But she couldn't hold the pose for long. "I saw Anko racing through Konoha. I'd just heard Kakashi had been injured, and thought that she may have been upset. But ..." she looked askance at Kakashi, "It was more than that. Her chakra was fluctuating wildly, and when she looked at me for a moment her eyes ..."

"What about them?" Kakashi prompted.

"They were wrong. Just wrong."

"You followed her." Tsunade made it into a statement. She had already heard the report.

"Yes. I sensed ANBU following behind, and two in front just behind Anko. Obviously I wondered what was going on, but after seeing her eyes I was sure something was wrong. When she moved into the trees, I really started to worry. I knew she wasn't allowed to leave the town – Kakashi had told me so that I could keep an eye on her. I followed, and reached a clearing where they had stopped."

Kurenai looked out past all of them through the window behind Tsunade. She breathed deeply, trying to concentrate on the serene sky and outline of Konoha while she spoke the words. "I saw Orochimaru holding Anko's face and speaking to her. She ... her arms were covered in blood, and there was some on her face as well.

"There were two ANBU lying on the grass, both bleeding from chest wounds. Both dead."

They were all quiet for a moment, but Tsunade was watching Kakashi and waiting for his response. It didn't take long.

"What are you saying?" he asked, agitated, "Are you trying to say that Anko ... that _Anko_ killed two ANBU?"

"I know what I saw, Kakashi, even if I wish I hadn't." Kurenai replied softly.

"It must have been Orochimaru," Kakashi argued, looking at the Hokage. "Anko couldn't ... Anko _wouldn't_ have killed ANBU!"

"Orochimaru had no blood or visible weapon on him, Kakashi," Tsunade said gently, "And Anko is fully capable of having done it, though the speed is a bit surprising."

"Anko let Orochimaru pick her up, and she didn't fight. She left with him, Kakashi, and she looked content to go. She didn't even look at me." Kurenai added.

"Those same ANBU confronted Anko in your hospital room, Kakashi, as you know. What I haven't told you is that it is because Anko left Konoha after finding out that you were in hospital. She met with Orochimaru." the Hokage informed him.

Kakashi shook his head, but she went on. "I was worried about Anko's erratic behaviour, and had an ANBU trailing her. He followed her out of Konoha from the hospital, and was close enough to see her meet Orochimaru and see them speak. He also said she was behaving strangely, like she was out of control and not herself."

Kurenai frowned. "I noticed the other night, when I accidentally mentioned Orochimaru the day after she'd been forbidden from leaving Konoha, that she seemed different. In fact, she's been on edge since she was away for a few days."

"She was away?" Tsunade asked, curious. She felt there was more to the story than any of them knew.

Kakashi looked puzzled. "It must have been while I was on a mission."

"She only came back after that first incident, Kakashi, when you found her just after she'd fought with Orochimaru. She'd been away for a few days before that. She started acting strangely after that, but I thought it was just because of seeing him again."

"Me too." Kakashi agreed. "She was more ... aggressive, than usual."

The three women raised their eyebrows, but said nothing to that comment. "So something was wrong with her?" Shizune asked.

Kurenai nodded. "Definitely. Her eyes ... they weren't normal. Not to mention how high her chakra levels were. And in that clearing it didn't seem like she was seeing everything properly. She almost looked drugged."

Kakashi frowned, deep in thought. Tsunade looked at him, noticing. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure. I seem to remember something ... I think Anko was talking to me just before I woke up. I think she told me something."

"Anything you remember could help." Shizune encouraged him.

"She said she needed help," he looked up at them, eye dark, "and the _only other_ person she could have turned to was me."

"Do you think the other person was Orochimaru?" Kurenai asked.

"It seems so," he replied. "She said something about being out of control ... something about killing those she cares about ... and she had to go to Orochimaru for help." His eyes were haunted as her words came back to him. "She said she would kill him when she could, and try to come back ..." Kakashi closed his eyes and turned away from them. "She said goodbye."

"That must have been after she'd seen him the second time." Tsunade mused. "He must have offered her a deal. But why would he take her back? He usually uses people and throws them away. Why would he want her again?"

"Does it matter?" Kurenai asked. "If she needs help we need to find her!"

"But she went to Orochimaru willingly, Kurenai. And you can't forget that she killed two ANBU. If what Kakashi said is right, then she is a danger to all around her." Tsunade pointed out.

"And even if you get her back," Shizune added quietly, "She will still have to be put on trial."

Tsunade nodded slowly. "That's true. And there may be more to the story, like why her chakra increased so and why she got 'out of control'."

"She may have used a forbidden jutsu," Kurenai said softly, reluctantly.

"I've never heard of one like that," Kakashi disagreed strongly. He knew more jutsu than any of them except, maybe, Tsunade. He also didn't want to think about the consequences if Anko had.

"That doesn't mean one doesn't exist." the Hokage replied. "And it can't be ruled out." She sighed, rubbing her temples again, but this time from weary frustration. She didn't want to lose Anko – she was a good kunoichi and close to Kakashi. If she were to be found and put on trial, however, with the Council's distrust against her past with Orochimaru, it would not go well. It was practically a guarantee. But at the same time she couldn't allow another Konoha nin to fall into Orochimaru's hands – for security reasons if nothing else. Unlike Sasuke, Anko knew the workings of Konoha well, and could be a great liability if she passed on information to Orochimaru.

"I still think you are too close to this, Kakashi, and that's why I'm going to send two more ANBU to try to find Anko." she said at last. Kakashi looked furious, but said nothing. "But ... if she isn't found within a few weeks, or if she doesn't come back herself, then I'm going to have to put her in the Bingo Book."

"What?!" Kakashi exclaimed, "You'll have all the shinobi villages after her then! They won't care if she's dead or alive!"

"That will be all, Kakashi, Kurenai. You may leave." Tsunade said shortly. She turned her chair around so she was facing out of the windows, over Konoha.

Behind her, Kakashi stood for a moment, fists clenched, before he allowed Kurenai to lead him away.

Shizune shifted from foot to foot anxiously, watching her Hokage. "Tsunade-sama ..." she ventured at last, "What do you think happened? Why would Anko-san go with him when she hates him so much?"

Tsunade sighed again. "Orochimaru is an expert at manipulation, Shizune. There is a complex bond between sensei and student, especially when, in Anko's case, she was the _only_ student. I'm sure you must have read about her parents."

"They were killed, weren't they?"

The Sannin nodded. "On active duty when she was five. A mission gone wrong. It's not unusual, unfortunately, for children to lose a parent that way ... but both of them at the same time with no other family around?" She shook her head sadly. "And then to have Orochimaru as the only person who cared about her after being alone? She left him by choice, and that takes a lot of strength but you still have to wonder how she really feels about him. It's hard to forget bonds as strong as those built like that." _Like the bond Jiraiya, Orochimaru and I used to have. I understand more about how Anko feels than Kakashi, I think._

"I think she's quite unstable," Shizune added softly.

"That's why it's hard to determine what really happened without having her here to ask." Tsunade agreed.

"Kakashi seems to care for her a great deal."

"Yes, it does seem that way. It's strange. I never thought of either of them as being the type to get attached or settle down." she commented wryly.

"What are you going to do if they find her, Tsunade-sama?"

"Frankly, Shizune, I don't know. I don't know at all."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kurenai and Kakashi walked together out of the Hokage's Tower, Kurenai filled with discomfort and Kakashi with furious rage. He walked stiffly, and when they passed various shinobi they all moved out of the way without a word. No one had seen Hatake Kakashi so angry, and no one wanted to ask him the reason for it. Kurenai wanted to duck away to escape the questions she knew Kakashi would ask, but she didn't. She respected him too much, and thought that he needed to hear everything she had to say.

Finally they came to a quiet corner, and Kakashi stopped.

"Do you think Anko is a traitor?" he demanded softly.

Kurenai met his visible eye. "Kakashi, Anko is my friend. She is an amazing kunoichi and very talented, and I, like you, think she should have been promoted to full jonin a long time ago. However, I can't deny what I saw with my own eyes, or what I know about her. She has a lot of problems, as you well know, and Orochimaru is the cause of them all."

"You haven't answered my question."

"She went with him of her own will! Maybe her will was weak or clouded, but that doesn't change that she went with him and killed two ANBU before she left! God, Kakashi, do you think I want to lose her?" she replied tearfully. "She may be difficult and bloodthirsty, but she's one of the strongest and weakest people I know. I feel responsible for not helping her sooner, for not stopping her from going."

Kakashi had a strange double-image of Sakura superimposed with Kurenai. "_I couldn't stop him, Naruto! I couldn't stop Sasuke from leaving!"_ He could see the young kunoichi in his mind's eye, and although Kurenai wasn't sobbing like she'd been, it was still too eerily familiar. _What's happening here? Why is Orochimaru winning?_

"I will not let you, or the Hokage, or anyone treat her like a traitor. I don't care what she orders. I won't let Anko be blamed for something that was clearly set in motion by that _bastard _fucking snake. He set her up." His voice was firm, angry, and full of denial.

Kurenai stared at him, her sad expression fading. "You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement. There's no point talking to you like this." She turned away, and walked a few steps before speaking softly over her shoulder. "You won't be able to help her if you deny the truth. She left us, Kakashi. She left you."

He had never wanted to kill a comrade like he did right then.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kakashi was sitting above the head of the Yondaime, with his Icha Icha book open in front of him. His eyes were glazed as he stared at the page, and with a sigh he looked at the view of Konoha. It was coming on sunset, and the sky looked beautiful in shades of red, pink, purple and deep blue. But all he could think about was how Anko hadn't cared about the sky, or the sunset, or the view of Konoha. She was so practical, so down-to-earth, but at the same time so wild and above it all. She was a mystery he had never been able to solve.

She had suited him because she didn't care about anniversaries or cards or poetic words, and he couldn't be bothered with them. She'd been so edgy, so strong, and like a shadow or wisp of cloud she could disappear in a moment. He was sure she cared something for him, because she'd told him by small moments of uncharacteristic affection when he arrived back from a mission, or more characteristic affectionate punches.

He missed her.

His fury had taken a few hours to fade after he'd left the Hokage's office. He'd wanted to storm back in and _demand_ to be allowed to search for her, because he had never asked for _anything _and goddammit they owed him something! He did as many missions as they wanted with no protest. He took up a lot of the burden left after the many deaths when Orochimaru attempted to take Konoha again, and felt that it was his goddamn _right_ to do this one thing. _Anko ..._

But the anger hadn't lasted. It wasn't in his character to show too much emotion other than pure laziness. Some of it was a façade, but not all. So the rage dissolved into frustration, which had yet to mellow down any more.

He remembered the first time they'd got together. It had been years ago, now. He'd been ... however old ... and she'd been twenty. _Four years, isn't it?_

...o..o.o..o...

_He was at a bar, on a break from another long mission. He was going to have to retire from ANBU soon, he knew, because the Sandaime believed he would be good at taking a genin team. He sighed as he remembered the conversation. He'd been very against it, because the memory of his own team still haunted him, but the old man wouldn't listen. He knew the reasons for Kakashi's reluctance, of course, but had just smiled._

"_You have a lot to give, Kakashi, and any genin would benefit greatly from your lessons. You had a good teacher, after all. He would want you to pass those teachings on."_

_That had been it. How could he refuse when the stubborn old bastard held the disappointment of the Yondaime, his dead sensei, over his head? So his freedom as an ANBU was at an end. The thought of teaching kids brought a distinctly unhappy slant to his visible eye._

"_You look like you have a Mist nin stuck up your ass."_

_He looked sideways to see a dark-haired kunoichi sitting next to him at the bar. He raised his eyebrow at the number of empty sake bottles lined up before her. "Not quite. Do you have some reason to have drunk so much sake? It's quite impressive."_

_She smirked, and seemed amused. "I always have a reason, but I don't need it. I always have this much." She turned and growled at the bartender. "More dango!"_

"_I didn't know they served dango here," he commented as a plate was quickly brought._

"_They don't," she replied after practically downing a stick and reaching for another. "But they're open to my kind of persuasion."_

_The cruel hint to her laughter intrigued him. In fact, everything about her did. She seemed not to know who he was or at least didn't react if she did, which was unusual, and she had an edginess that was refreshing. He recognised her as a Leaf kunoichi, but could not remember her name._

"_Hatake Kakashi," he introduced himself at last._

_The kunoichi smirked. "The Copy Nin, huh? Mitarashi Anko."_

_Kakashi returned a flirtatious smile of his own beneath his mask. "The snake kunoichi? I heard you were dangerous to be around."_

_She raised her eyebrow suggestively. "If you want me to be."_

...o..o.o..o...

They'd hit it off, and got together generally whenever they met. Eventually they'd started planning meetings, and when Kakashi left the ANBU and started taking on genin they spent time with the same group of people who became their friends. But it was never serious, and they'd never acted like a _couple_. She wasn't like some women who threw themselves at him because he was _Hatake Kakashi_, and she didn't care about his frequent missions or worry about him finding someone else. Strangely enough, he didn't after they made their 'arrangement' more frequent. When he'd commented on it, she said it was because he didn't have the stamina to deal with anyone else. He had thought that that was probably true.

Kakashi had known, like Kurenai, that a part of Anko was broken. He knew she battled with compassionate emotions and with her blood-lust, and he knew the reason why. He knew it was because of Orochimaru.

When he'd seen the Sannin just after he'd sealed Sasuke's curse seal during the Chunin Exams, he'd talked strongly about killing the man even if he had to kill himself to do it. Part of that had been because it was his duty, and part was because he wanted to set Anko free. But when the Sannin left ... Kakashi knew he wasn't strong enough to live up to his challenge, and he knew that Orochimaru knew it too. When the Sannin left, he'd been trembling with a fear that he wasn't used to feeling.

And then seeing Anko, only days ago, completely numb and speechless after encountering and trying to kill Orochimaru again. Seeing the strong woman he had come to care so much about brought down by the man who was responsible for all her nightmares.

It made him feel more weak and helpless than Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan.

He knew that was the other reason Tsunade wouldn't let him go. Kakashi was on (forced) sick leave because he was still recovering from 'near death', as she put it. None of them were sure how he came out of his coma so quickly. The Hokage put it down to her student almost killing herself trying to heal him when he was first brought in. _Sakura's grown more in the Godaime's short care than she ever could have with me._ Anko would have put it down to his stubborn will to finish his latest Icha Icha book.

Kakashi looked down at what he could see of the Yondaime's carved face. It wasn't much from this viewpoint, but then he'd always thought the man looked much better than his carving. He pulled up a piece of grass, shredding it into tiny bits, and let them drift through the air over the monument below. He felt calmer being near his old sensei's likeness, though he felt more of a failure as well. _I've never lived up to the example you set. I was never as good, strong and kind as you. Then again, no one was ... or is. I wish I knew what you would do. I wish you hadn't died. I hadn't finished learning from you._

The Copy Nin looked up at the stars that had started to appear in the darkening sky. The breeze was cool, refreshing, and it ruffled the pages of the book he held absently in his lap. He thought about Orochimaru ... and Anko. He knew pieces of their history, but he'd never really known enough. She'd never spoken about it except indirectly, like when he asked her to speak to Sasuke before he left. He'd seen his share of his comrade's nightmares, especially during his time in the ANBU, but hers were on a completely different level. They were like his nightmares about Obito's death. He'd been there, a few times, when she had one. They gave him chills, seeing her thrashing and the _look_ on her face when she woke.

It was a look that combined complete horror, despair and such utter self-_hatred_. The only thing he'd been able to give her was sex, and dreamless sleep using his Sharingan.

_I should have made her get help. I should have erased her memories ... anything. I knew ... I knew that she wasn't getting better, only worse. After the Ocean Country mission, I thought she was okay, but then ..._

_Gods Anko, I should have known how lost you were._


	13. Ch13: Ready

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: I had a suggestion from 'Blaze da dragon' to bring in Naruto, so I took it up. I hope I got his personality/reactions right! See guys, if you make a suggestion I'll consider seriously bringing it in :) No lemon yet, but I'll get there. Enjoy reading!

Thanks to Blaze da dragon, Alucards-Vampire-BITCH and Animes-Tribute for the reviews, and BloodRedShadows and LostsoulofRegret for the constant, every-chapter support! You guys are awesome :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 13

**Ready**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

She ducked the blow with a twist of her shoulder, letting the man overbalance himself. He jerked back, reacting quickly to right himself, but she used the opportunity to kick the back of his knee, forcing it to bend so he started to fall forwards again. He swung out a fist, aiming for her midsection and a crippling blow. She caught the hand, using it and his momentum to pull him forwards. She twisted the arm as she did, moving to stand behind the kneeling man with her knee in his back and forcing him to fall with his face in the dirt and one hand behind him. He struggled to kick out at her and to get up, but Anko cocked her head and in a swift movement she broke his wrist with a sharp wet crack.

The kunoichi stood up, ignoring his moans of pain as he writhed on the packed dirt, and walked nonchalantly away towards the watching Orochimaru. He smiled as she approached, and took enjoyment in seeing the change that had come over his student in the last few days.

The change wasn't dramatic, but still very noticeable. Anko had lost the confusion and hesitation that the conflicting aspects of her personality had caused. Like a person with a type of schizophrenic multiple-personality, she'd had moments when she couldn't remember what she'd done. Now her personality combined the self that Kakashi and Konoha had known, and the one that he'd seen: the parts of himself he'd seen in her. It made her stonger, more self-assured, like he'd thought it would. It also brought out the parts of her he found most interesting.

Like now, when he saw a brief look of satisfaction at the pain she'd caused cross her face.

"Like I said before," she said to him as she came close, folding her arms casually, "All your shinobi end up with their faces hitting dirt. Very dull, and pretty fucking pathetic. It doesn't say much about Sound, does it?"

The Sannin smirked. Her tongue was still as sharp and acidic as ever. Sharper, maybe. "There has been a ... regrettable loss of skilled subordinates."

Anko laughed mockingly. "Yes, very skilled subordinates who were taken down by Konoha genin."

Orochimaru ignored the remark. "Still, there are at least a few Sound shinobi who could keep you occupied."

Anko raised an eyebrow. "Well, since you haven't offered to spar with me since I came here, I assume you're talking about Sasuke and Kabuto." She rolled her eyes at the thought of them. Kabuto was still very polite but she didn't trust him at all, and Sasuke ... well, Sasuke was _annoying_. Good-looking, but annoying. "I don't think there's enough room for me and Sasuke's _ego_ in a spar, but I'd enjoy deflating it a bit."

Orochimaru liked the slant to her smile, and the renewed dark hint in her eyes. It was ... refreshing. "I'm sure you would."

There was a moment of silence that she found rather uncomfortable. The Sannin had a penetrating gaze that made her shudder, and he didn't seem to feel the need to fill the silence. She remembered that he'd always been like that. It was partly a method of intimidation, and partly just who he was.

Anko turned to see Kabuto arriving at last, having been called by another shinobi to deal with the wounded man. He still hadn't stood up. "Maybe I fractured a bone in his leg making him kneel," she commented dispassionately.

"You dislocated his knee." Kabuto called across to them. "And a broken wrist ..." the medic sighed as he called two men to carry the shinobi away. He moved towards the Sannin and kunoichi, and smiled wryly. "I've certainly been busier with you around, Anko-san. Sasuke-san was bad enough."

"You know what to do with them if healing takes too much time." Orochimaru said coldly, referring to his many experiments that needed ... volunteers.

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto bowed. "But I wouldn't want to remove too many soldiers from your service, then though they don't care what they have to do if it is your will."

The Sannin smirked, and Anko frowned in disgust. "If only they knew what you really thought of them, Orochimaru."

"And what is that, Anko?" he asked her, amused.

"Nothing. You think nothing of them. They're just a means to an end."

Orochimaru laughed as Kabuto moved away to tend to the injured shinobi. His lips curled in a half-smile as he looked down at her, and said softly "And what about you, Anko? What are you?"

Anko looked at the packed-earth training area. She saw the darker spots on the ground that were dried blood, sweat and tears. "I'm no different to you than they are." she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. "I know that." She turned her head to look up at him, matching his stare with her own. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But then, what do you think you are to me?"

She turned on her heel, and strode away without waiting for or wanting a reply. But she got one anyway.

"A means to an end? But I wonder, Anko, what end that is."

A hitch in Anko's step was the only sign that she'd heard him, before she disappeared into the main building.

Orochimaru smiled.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko sat on the narrow bed in her dark room with her head in her hands. _How did I come to this?_ she wondered. Ever since Sasuke had used his Sharingan on her, things had been different. She _felt_ different. It was like she could remember how she used to dislike causing unnecessary pain in a spar – it wasn't necessary, the humiliation used to be more than enough to amuse her – but now she enjoyed it. In a way, she always had but was only seeing it in herself now. There was a violent edge to everything she did that hadn't been so open before.

She knew what Orochimaru had said, that he'd just made her accept another part of who she was, but it was like she'd been seeing life in shades of purple and now she saw it in shades of stark glaring red.

Anko fell back on to her bed, and stared up at the cold stone ceiling. She let her thoughts drift to Konoha, and Kakashi. _Kakashi ... What do you think of me? What would you think of me if you could see me now? I don't think I want to know._ Her focus turned to her life as a kunoichi there. Anger rose up as she thought about all they'd denied her – more than she usually felt. Thinking of the faces of the old council members as they looked at her with disgusted contempt and suspicion, she felt the urge to kill something.

She laughed bitterly as she thought about all she'd gone through. All the years of common villagers pointing her out to each other, whispering: _"She's the one ..." "She was **his** ..."_ And she'd taken it all, but thinking back she wondered why. After all, after what had happened now, she needn't have bothered.

Now she served Orochimaru until he could give her the power she wanted, and then she could kill him before going after Akatsuki. _But why should I do Konoha's work for them? Why should I hunt Akatsuki? What has Konoha ever given me?_ But the answer rose up, unbidden. It was simple, really. Her madness was simple.

Because aiming to kill Akatsuki was madness.

And there were two main reasons: Kakashi, of course, and the blond Kyuubi-container Naruto.

_People have had more compelling reasons,_ she thought wryly, _but there have been worse too. Naruto will always be targeted by them, and Kakashi will always put himself in between. _

_Even if I die, they deserve life more than I do. I don't deserve anything. I don't want to live like this._

_Maybe that's my real reason. Maybe I'm doing this so I'll die. Maybe I'm being selfish after all; it wouldn't be the first time._

But the longer she stayed in Sound, the more she felt Orochimaru influence her every action. She mocked him, gave thinly-veiled insults, took every opportunity to beat his shinobi to a pulp ... but he just smiled like he could see through her. His constant pointed comments hurt her conviction that she was so different from him, that she would kill him before she left.

_Means to what end, Orochimaru? Gods, I wish I fucking knew. I used to, but you're twisting that as well as everything else._ She knew, though, that she was losing to his seduction. He cornered her in her dreams, and she knew it was only a matter of time until he cornered her out of them as well.

_It's just a way to use me – a means to an end ... Hot evil fucking bastard._ She didn't want to give in to what she knew was just his method of manipulation, she didn't want to betray Kakashi like that ... but there was an increasingly large part of her that just _didn't care _about his plans _or_ Kakashi. The one she didn't know enough about and the other was just too far away. Kakashi was from a different life – one that didn't involve Orochimaru. She was _here_ and _now_ was all she had.

She sat up when she heard the footsteps approaching her door. Anko sat on the edge on the bed, hands half-clenched into fists on the bed at her sides. She looked up at the short knock on her door.

"Come in."

Kabuto entered smoothly. He smiled at her, enjoying the sight of her and the sleek sense of danger she was so good at projecting. The smile faded a bit when he met her eyes. Pieces of her blue/black hair covered her one eye, and her intensity and the way she was looking at him, like she saw more than he could, reminded him uncomfortably of Orochimaru. With her regained sense of control, she had been able to summon the powers of her snake spirit with increasing success. He wondered when she would notice that its physical effects on her body had stopped fading when she wasn't actively using its power. Her eyes were lighter, her pupils more elongated and her canines more pronounced than he remembered.

"Can I help you, Kabuto?" her tone carried a hint of irritation at his staring. _Take a picture, buddy,_ she growled to herself, _it'll last longer_.

The spy's smile returned full-force. "My apologies, Anko-san," he replied, voice full of sincerity that Anko didn't trust an inch, "Orochimaru-sama instructed me to inform you that you will be accompanying me on a mission tomorrow."

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't do the working-with-partners thing," Anko objected. She didn't like the idea of doing a mission with someone like Kabuto. She couldn't imagine anyone she trusted less. _Except maybe Sasuke. And Orochimaru. God, I'm surrounded by people I don't trust, but I suppose I have no one to blame but myself._

"I don't generally work with a partner either," Kabuto admitted, and then he smiled slyly, "But you seemed to work well with ... hmm ... Naruto, was it? And those other two genin in Ocean Country."

"Those were my subordinates, Kabuto," she snapped back, and then gave a smile of her own as a thought occurred to her, "Unless you're suggesting that _you_ are, in fact, my subordinate in this case. I think I could work with that."

Kabuto's face betrayed his irritation for a moment, but he seemed too used to dealing with difficult people to be really annoyed by her jabs. "I'm afraid not. Actually, Orochimaru-sama has instructed that you will be following _my_ orders." He took some satisfaction in her restrained anger before continuing to outline the mission. "We will be retrieving documents from a man in a village on the edge of the Water Country."

Anko frowned at him. "Retrieving documents? Doesn't sound like much of a mission."

Kabuto smirked. "The man has provided Orochimaru-sama with assistance in the past, but has regrettably forgotten his duty recently. I will be interrogating him as well as letting him know the punishment for crossing Sound. It will be up to you to make sure I'm not interrupted."

"I suppose it's not important for me to know what he did for Orochimaru, or even his name?" she asked curtly.

"No. We leave before dawn tomorrow." The medic turned to leave, but at the doorway he turned back to look at her. "If you need weapons and new clothes or supplies, come see me this evening."

Anko nodded, and then laughed humourlessly. "As long as I don't have to wear that ugly fucking purple rope thing."

Kabuto laughed. "It's not compulsory." he replied, and then was gone.

Anko stared down at her hands that she'd folded in her lap. _My first mission for Orochimaru ... I suppose it's not surprising he's sending me with Kabuto. Despite what they say about not being concerned that I'd go back to Konoha, they still don't trust me to complete a mission alone. I wouldn't trust me either._ She ran her fingers over both palms. They were calloused from working with ninja weapons, hand-to-hand combat and hard travelling. Like most ninja, she had a number of scars on her body but they didn't bother her. Wounds left too long without seeing a medic generally scarred.

Kakashi had spent more than a few times tracing their paths on her skin. He used to say that they were either a mark of incompetence, or of experience.

_Tomorrow, then. Tomorrow I face soaking my hands in blood for Orochimaru._ Oddly enough, the thought didn't disturb her as much as it used to.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The journey to the village passed quickly enough. As Anko had discovered before, it was almost too easy to fall into a pattern even with someone who had been her enemy. Kabuto wasn't an entirely awful travelling companion; he could actually be quite charming which was one of his skills that made him a good spy. He made an effort to be friendly towards her, and she wasn't sure exactly how to react to it. Some of his comments and glances were less than innocent, and she eventually started treating him like she had Genma: teasing and playing along, but only up to a point. Past that point, she pulled out the dangerous bitch. _It's an easy act to play these days._

He was careful not to push her too far. Her temper had been quicker to lose lately, and when one too many of Orochimaru's subordinates had made a comment about her being his 'whore' only a few days previously, she'd some very close to killing him. Kabuto had stepped in in time, and hadn't seen anything like remorse on her face. In fact, her cold rage had chilled him. She was not someone to cross.

Finally after a number of days travel, they reached the outskirts of a village next to a river. The village was small and rustic, but the people seemed healthy and content.

"This is the place." Kabuto told her quietly. He pulled out a coat from his travel bag, and used a small jutsu to change to colour of his hair to a nondescript brown. "I suggest you don't draw too much attention to yourself."

Anko shrugged, adjusting her new black trench coat. She'd traded her lighter brown one for this when Kabuto offered it, because she'd hardly brought her own clothes with her when she left Konoha. The darker coat matched her mood more, as well as her mesh top. "So what's the plan now?" she asked.

"I'll go and find out where our target is, and then I'll find you. Don't go too far."

Kabuto moved through the undergrowth towards the town, slipping out of sight. Anko sighed. _I don't feel like just waiting here._ Making a decision, she entered the town casually. She didn't attract much notice. There were a number of odd characters loitering around, and she guessed that the town wasn't as innocent as it seemed. _A hiring place for mercenaries, maybe._ She certainly wasn't out of place as a ninja.

She'd been walking through the main street for about five minutes, deciding on a place to get a drink, when she heard a familiar voice.

"Ahhh! Ero-sennin, you spent all my money _again_?!" the young voice cried indignantly.

There was a drunken hiccup and a giggle. "Oh, Naruto, I was doing research for my new book. It's very important ... I wouldn't expect you to understand." the man slurred.

"Naruto?" Anko repeated, disbelieving. She turned around, and sure enough there the boy was.

He'd grown since she'd last seen him, but it was obvious Naruto hadn't forgotten her at all judging by his wide eyes and surprised expression. "Eh?! The crazy Chunin examiner?!"

Anko's smile widened into an edgy grin that made the genin gulp. "What was that, Naruto-kun?"

"Ahaha," he smiled anxiously, raising his hands to ward off her revenge. "Anko-sensei, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied, eyeing Naruto's companion. She recognised Jiraiya, of course. The toad Sannin who'd taught Naruto to summon Gamabunta and to use the Rasengan.

Naruto smiled widely, almost bouncing from foot to foot in his usual energetic excitement. "Ero-sennin is training me so that I can be the next Hokage!"

Anko raised an eyebrow at the nickname, and Jiraiya shrugged sheepishly. "Naruto, I told you not to call me that!"

"So? What are you doing here sensei?" the Kyuubi boy asked again.

Anko almost rolled her eyes. She'd forgotten how exuberant he was. "I'm on a mission, Naruto." she replied, but she didn't miss the calculating look the Sannin was giving her. _He knows,_ she thought calmly. "But I think I have time to buy you some ramen."

Naruto leapt up. "Yes!" he shouted happily. "There's a place just down here!"

Anko bought the boy some of his favourite ramen, but stood a short distance away with Jiraiya. She watched the kitsune devour the food happily, and wished that she could feel that innocence again. She waited for the questions she knew the Sannin would ask.

"I heard from Konoha." he said quietly at last.

"Yes."

"What happened, Anko?"

She met the man's eyes briefly, before turning back to watch Naruto. The Sannin was solemn and serious, and she saw that through the perverted and careless character that he often portrayed, lay the man who was one of the three most powerful ninja in the history of Konoha and the shinobi nations. "I made a mistake, and went to the only person who could help me." Her expression hardened. "Don't worry. I'll kill him once I'm done. I plan on helping with the Akatsuki problem as well."

"You could have come to Tsunade or one of the Leaf first, Anko. You can't trust him."

She laughed humourlessly, meeting his eyes again. "Do you think that I, of all people, don't know that? I have to do this my way. You don't understand."

He turned to face her, voice stern. "I understand better than you think. I worked with him, and I think you're getting into more than you can handle. He'll manipulate what he wants from you, don't you realise that? I can't allow that to happen, Anko."

"So you're going to try to take me back? To that fucking council who have always hated me and who will just throw me into a prison anyway?" she demanded, eyes flashing. He frowned as he noticed that there was something slightly off about them.

"You might be right that they don't trust you, but Tsunade can help. You can't mess around with Orochimaru, Anko. For Konoha's sake, I can't allow you to go back to him."

"Orochimaru?" the younger voice broke the tension slightly, but Anko remained ready with one eye on the Sannin when she looked at the genin.

Naruto had left his bowl of ramen and was staring up at her with incredulous eyes, and a mixture of earnest confusion and disbelief. "You're working with Orochimaru?"

"Yes." she replied shortly, reluctantly.

"But _why_?!" he cried. "Anko-sensei, it's _Orochimaru_! He-"

"I know, Naruto," Anko interrupted, trying to forestall a list of Orochimaru's crimes. "I know what he's done. I'm doing what I have to do, and it won't be for long."

"But Isaribi nee-chan ... and Sasuke ..." his eyes seemed to brighten and darken at the same time as the thought hit him. "Have you seen ..." he battled to speak the name.

"Yes, I've seen Sasuke, Naruto. I think you should give up on him. The friend you knew is dead."

"No." he said firmly, determination unbreakable. "I will rescue Sasuke. But helping Orochimaru for any reason isn't right, sensei. It will only make you like him."

Anko saw the maturity in his eyes, the firm belief in what he thought was right, and the strength to uphold those beliefs. He was so loyal and _good_ and _honest_. "You will make a good Hokage one day, Naruto. I hope you find friends who live up to your faith in them." It was obvious to the two shinobi that she was as firm in her own beliefs, and to Naruto that she wasn't the same as she had been. "Orochimaru has a pull that you can't understand. I won't be able to escape him until one of us is dead, and I don't plan on that being me."

"But sensei-" the boy said softly, ready to try convince her to come with him.

"Please don't try to stop me," she asked Jiraiya earnestly, with more vulnerability than she had shown for a long time. "I can't let anyone interfere, you know that the council won't give me a fair trial no matter what the Hokage does, and you need to protect Naruto. He deserves the chance to try for his dream." The Sannin nodded reluctantly. He knew that she was right, and he didn't have time to try take her back to Konoha against her will. He could only alert Tsunade to where she'd been, and hope that she came to her senses.

Anko reached down to ruffle Naruto's spiky blond hair. She smiled sincerely at his serious face, "Good luck with your training, Naruto."

Naruto opened his mouth and raised his hand to speak, but the kunoichi disappeared using a transportation jutsu. He stared into space for a moment before looking up sadly at his sensei. "Why, Ero-sennin? Why can't she leave Orochimaru?"

The Sannin sighed, running a hand through his white hair. _How do I tell you this, Naruto? Anko was right in that you wouldn't really understand._ "Orochimaru was Anko's sensei, Naruto. I think you knew that. He made her lose her memories after she refused to follow him when he gave her the curse seal. Tsunade told me recently that she got some of them back when you went on that mission in the Ocean Country, and I can only guess at what she remembered about what he made her do. Sometimes revenge is the only thing people can think of – you have some experience of that with Sasuke. Sometimes revenge can drive you to do terrible things. But if she's following Orochimaru for the power to eventually kill him, then I think she's making a grave mistake."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

Jiraiya refused to voice the thought, but couldn't help it resounding in his mind. _Because with Orochimaru, no matter what power she develops ... she won't stand a chance._

Naruto looked down at his clenched fists, feeling the familiar well of frustrated helplessness. Feeling that he was still not strong enough to save anyone. _Why are we losing people to Orochimaru?! After all that he's done ... I can't let him hurt anyone else. I can't. I ... I have to get stronger. I have to get Sasuke back, and now Anko-sensei as well._ Naruto wasn't stupid, despite how many people may call him that. He could read the Sannin's face. He knew that he didn't think Anko could kill Orochimaru.

"Are you going to finish your ramen, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked finally.

"No." came the unexpected reply. The genin looked up at his sensei with renewed determination. "I'd like to start proper training now, Jiraiya-sensei."

The Sannin was taken aback. "_Jiraiya-sensei", eh?_ He nodded solemnly. "Alright, Naruto. It's time to leave this place and find out what you've really got. Three years, remember?"

Naruto nodded. "I'm ready."


	14. Ch14: Falling

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Hi all, finally here at last is the long-awaited lemon! I suppose taking 14 chapters and about 50 000 words to get there is a long enough wait :) Because I wanted to post this chapter today, I didn't take up LostsoulofRegret's kind offer to check it over (Thanks again!) but I really hope it's alright anyway. I won't babble on too much, because I'm looking forward to hearing what the response is (and nervous too!). Enjoy reading!

Note: The following chapter contains a lemon, so please don't read if it makes you uncomfortable (although some parts are pretty important to the plot – that's why it's rated 'M' after all).

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 14

**Falling**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko watched Jiraiya and Naruto leave from the edges of the trees where she and Kabuto had first reached the little village. She was relieved that they weren't going to try and stop her or take her back, because she would have had to fight and not hold back. But she knew that Jiraiya would have to notify Konoha that he'd seen her. _They'll probably send more ANBU._

"Interesting little run-in, Anko-san."

The voice came from behind her, but Anko didn't bother turning around. She continued to watch the bright yellow-headed boy disappear behind a corner at the far end of the village.

"Did you find him, Kabuto?" she asked at last, turning to see the spy watching her with an unreadable expression.

"Follow me. We should have few problems with his bodyguards."

They didn't have any problems. Between the two of them, Anko and Kabuto were skilled enough to deal with the guards silently and brutally. When they entered the room holding the man they were sent after, he clearly knew who Kabuto was.

"... Kabuto-san, what a surprise," he stuttered at last. The man was large, and his massive face went pale when he saw them enter. He attempted a smile that was more of a hideous grimace. "What brings you here? Can I offer anything that Sound requires? I am at your service as always."

Kabuto's smile was friendly, and fake. "I'm sure you know what happens when people cross Orochimaru-sama," he said quietly, "You can't think you would get away with anything, can you? It's just not the way Sound does business."

Anko left to stand at the doorway, watching for any guards that they'd missed. She stood still even with the muffled screams and horridly pathetic pleas for the medic to stop. The man, whose name she still didn't even know, gurgled and confessed anything and everything Kabuto required. She didn't flinch at the cracks and grinding noises as Kabuto made use of his medic skills to horrific purpose, carrying on even after he'd got what he wanted.

Instead, she fell into memories.

...o..o.o..o...

_The knock at the door made her leap up from her chair. _Are they back?_ she wondered excitedly. _Are they home?

_But the door swung open, and they weren't there. The shinobi standing where they should have been, his face grave, took her inside and shut the door firmly behind them. She couldn't help craning her neck to look at it swinging shut until the last sliver of view of outside disappeared._

_He sat her down carefully, ignoring her confused questions._

"_I'm sorry."_

_She was practising alone, like she always did. She was determined to become a kunoichi, no matter what the Hokage said._

"_I'm going to be strong!" she cried, using all her effort to throw the kunai as hard as possible._

_But a hand stopped their flight, all four. She stared in amazement at the tall man standing in the shadows of the tree she'd been aiming at. She would always remember his smile._

"_Of course you are. I'm going help you."_

_The door swung shut, and she was in pain with twin points of fire in her neck, but the betrayal hurt the most of all. "I've always been in pain!" she'd told the Sandaime. Hadn't she? The pain of loneliness wasn't so different from the pain of loss or betrayal. They all hurt, they all stung._

_Maybe she was better off feeling nothing._

...o..o.o..o...

It seemed like forever before the spy came up alongside her. He stopped to smile contentedly, wiping absently at the blood on his hands with a rag. "We've got what we wanted. Orochimaru-sama will be very pleased." He sighed, pulling off his glasses to wipe them as well. "I'll never understand why they seem to think they can outwit him. Everyone will learn soon enough what happens when they cross Sound. A few lessons may be necessary until then."

"You enjoy what you do, don't you." Anko made it more of a statement than a question. The deaths of the guards at her hands and at Kabuto's, and hearing him torture the leader to death, made her feel empty. If she looked in the mirror, she'd be surprised to see anything but a void reflected in her eyes. Even speaking was an effort, and trying to put emotion that she didn't feel into her words even to make them a question was impossible.

Kabuto smiled at her. "Of course. Don't you?"

_Do I?_ Anko looked back through the doorway. The man was dead, of course, though death had probably come as a mercy. Broken bones, burns, ripped skin, stab wounds, fingers cleaved. Kabuto had made the most of his short time. This side of the doorway were more dead men. Guards with broken necks (those had been mostly hers) and others with no visible marks except for small punctures (Kabuto had used his medical scalpel). One had a kunai in his forehead.

Anko moved over and leant down, pulling the blade out with a sharp jerk. She wiped it clean on the man's clothes while Kabuto searched for the documents that they'd come for. He knew where to look – the dead man had told him everything, after all. Even though it hadn't saved him.

They left once he had them. There was nothing to stay for any more, though Kabuto had offered her a drink. She said she didn't need one. She thought she'd lied. Maybe a drink would have helped her feel something. Fill in the empty space where she should have felt the horror of what she'd seen ... what she'd done and who she'd done it for.

The two nin leapt from branch to branch high in the trees. Anko didn't feel like lingering on the way back, and upped their pace. She didn't know why she was rushing back, either. What was there to rush back to? It wasn't like when she'd been a special jonin of Konoha, with Kakashi waiting at home. No, it wasn't like that. She was a missing-nin, now, with Orochimaru waiting at the place she now lived. It wasn't home. Maybe she'd never had such a place. Maybe this void was all she'd ever had. Maybe everything else was a dream.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko made straight for the place in Sound that served as their bar. She hadn't expected there to be one in the beginning, but logically it made sense. Even subordinates of insane criminals needed a place to relax and get drunk. Orochimaru had more male nin than female, and there were prostitutes available as well. It was a fact that she didn't find too charming – _Do they really have to _pay_ to get laid? How sad_ – but it wasn't unusual.

She settled heavily in a chair at the corner of the bar against the wall. It was the most private place there, and she'd claimed it as hers. The bartender knew her well enough to place a plate of dango and a bottle of sake on the bar in front of her without asking. He also knew her well enough not to comment when she downed the alcohol immediately and waved for more.

Anko tried to ignore the noise of the other people there. It was late in the day, and she hadn't even stopped for more than a cursory shower after arriving back. She couldn't face staying in her room, and needed to get drunk. She needed to feel something, to drown the void. Or numb it.

The kunoichi'd left Kabuto to make the report to Orochimaru. She couldn't even think of facing him right then. She needed a lot more to drink before she saw him anytime soon. He just took too much effort to deal with.

"When do you think Orochimaru-sama is going to make another move on Konoha?"

Anko turned a little. Two shinobi were talking just along the bar from her, and she could hear their conversation clearly.

"I'm not sure," the other replied, rubbing a scar on his cheek. "Maybe he's going to wait to make another alliance, or replace those we lost."

"Or wait for a younger skin," the man suggested, laughing crudely. "You've got to wonder how he wears them out so quickly."

"I could think of at least one way – with age comes experience, right?" scar-face agreed. His leer was almost wistful. "Damn, that's a great trick. Wish I could do it."

"Yeah, you've been having problems 'getting up' in the morning lately, haven't you?" the other man laughed raucously at his own innuendo.

Anko stopped listening to the exchanged insults. _Konoha._ She didn't miss the town, or many of the people. She missed the freedom she'd had, and the few people she counted as friends. They'd sit in a bar like this, laughing and talking and sharing stories or opinions. Sometimes she'd been weirder than usual, or more aggressive, but they'd never cared. Even when she'd been on the verge of killing Gai (which was often), or Genma when he pushed her too far, she'd enjoyed her time with them. They were good people. _Maybe too good for someone like me._

_Kakashi._ She wondered what he'd think when he heard Naruto had seen her. She wondered briefly what he was doing, who was giving him what he needed to chase his demons away now she wasn't there (_Just say it: who do you think he's fucking now_?), but cut the thought off.

She was getting maudlin, and it annoyed her. The only answer was more sake to pass the point where she could think about the past. It wasn't making her feel more than empty, but she was sick of being hollow.

When Anko finally left the bar, she didn't stagger though by all rights she shouldn't have been able to walk. She had a high tolerance, but even for her she'd had a lot. Her lips had passed the feeling-numb stage long ago, and her mind saw everything through a foggy veil.

Maybe it was chance that she ended up standing in front of his door. Maybe it wasn't, but she was there. She hadn't been in his room, and she knew now was not the time, but her hand moved almost on its own to turn the handle and push the door slowly open.

He was sitting at his desk going through scrolls when she entered, despite the late hour. He looked up when she stepped inside, but didn't seem very surprised to see her.

She didn't know what to say, or even if she could bring herself to speak. Anko moved slowly towards a floor-length mirror on one wall, averting her eyes from his large luxurious bed at the end of the room. The lighting was dim, but bright enough for her to see her reflection.

The kunoichi stared at herself in the glass, and couldn't recognise who she was looking at. It was her, it must be, but she'd changed so much. The darker clothes made her look pale, washed out. Her hair needed a cut, and she was sleeker with more muscle. She was stronger than she'd ever been and it showed, but it was more than that.

There was something wrong with her eyes.

Orochimaru came up behind her, and slipped his arms around her waist. He looked over her shoulder into the mirror as well, and she couldn't suppress the shiver at the sight of the two of them together. She looked almost as pale as he did, and they were eerily similar. Their dark hair, pale skin. Their light, dead, slit-pupil eyes. _What?!_

"You didn't think you would have found a forbidden jutsu among the things I left behind in Konoha that I didn't know, did you?" he asked her softly, amused.

Anko's eyes were wide, her shock reflected in the mirror. "You? You did it as well?"

"Of course," he replied, pulling her more firmly against his body. "I was quite impressed with it myself, although there were side-effects I didn't expect."

Anko shook her head, trying to pull reason through the sake-haze clouding her thoughts. The heat of his body pressing against hers was the only thing that _felt_ important to her, and the alcohol agreed strongly. "What ... side-effects?" she asked with difficulty.

His reflection smiled, and pulled the tie from her hair so that it fell in soft waves about her face. "Some physical changes, enhanced reflexes, as you have seen," the smile showed his sharp canines, a small movement of his hand indicated their eyes, "And some behavioural changes as well."

"What do you mean?" She tried to ignore the small movements of his hands on her waist, and the closeness of his lips to her skin.

"Heightened aggression, blood-lust, possessiveness, a certain lack of compassionate emotions ... of course, I can't say for certain whether that is just my own personality." his smile betrayed a degree of humour at the comment. "My tests on other subjects were unsuccessful."

"What happened to them, Orochimaru?" She was sobering up quickly, but not quickly enough. _What have I become?_

The Sannin shrugged, as if it were unimportant. "Some died. Most went insane." He met her eyes in the mirror. "And then there was you. You, who was the first to survive getting my seal. You, who was the first apprentice that I considered using as a future vessel. Did you know?" he asked, noticing her shock, "I could have taken you with me, to use as my first vessel. I hadn't perfected the technique when I left, but I knew I was close. I'd already trained you, gained your trust.

"I could have used you."

"So why didn't you?" her question was quiet. She wanted to know.

Orochimaru twisted her around so that she was looking directly in his eyes, away from the mirror. He stroked her cheek affectionately, possessively. "Because I knew you would be of some use to me later on. Because I wanted to see what you would become."

Anko turned away, trying to resist him. _Kakashi._ But he could read the word in her face, and pulled her back to look in his eyes again. "Do you really think he's still waiting for you, Anko?" he demanded, "Do you think he hasn't found someone else?"

Hadn't she been trying not to think those same thoughts? Did it even matter any more?

She was falling into the void in his eyes. He was pulling her in, and she couldn't hold back any more. She couldn't deny the lust she felt for him, or her desperate desire to _feel_. The alcohol took away her ability to rationalise why it was wrong, even in the face of his story that he'd used her all along and intended to continue to use her when she left him. Maybe if she hadn't been drunk she would have been able to resist. Maybe she wouldn't have resisted anyway.

He gave no sign of surprise when she pulled him in for a hungry kiss. His one hand buried in her hair, and the other fitted her hips against his.

Orochimaru allowed her a moment of dominance before asserting his own. He moved to her throat, with scrapes of his teeth creating lines of fire soothed by his lips. His mouth led a dance that left her aching, with her breath coming in short gasps. His fingers slipped under the lapels of her coat, sliding it over her shoulders and to the floor. The mesh underneath left little to the imagination.

Anko slid her own fingers between the folds of his robe, over the smooth skin and muscle beneath. She pushed it off of his shoulders, down his arms, so that it fell about his waist and was held only in place by a purple tie. The kunoichi ran her hands along the muscles of his arms, tracing the planes of his chest. When he bit her hard enough to draw blood, her nails dug into his arms and drew some of their own.

He picked her up, so her legs were wrapped around his waist, and walked carefully towards the bed. His lips were locked with hers again, in a ravaging, savage kiss. Orochimaru lay her down on her back, with her legs still around him, and moved his attention to removing her shirt. She twisted and pulled to help him, wanting to feel his skin against hers as quickly as she could.

The Sannin swept his tongue across her skin, as if he wanted to taste as much of her as possible. For the moment, Anko could only entwine her hands in his hair and writhe with the pleasure interspersed with the pain he administered as well.

"Did you know ..." she managed to murmur with difficulty, "that when I first had sex, I thought ... ah! ... about you ... the whole time?"

Orochimaru lifted his head, looking at her with unreadable gold eyes. "Really?" His voice was husky, and made her shudder at the feeling of his breath on her skin and at the sight of him lying against her bare chest.

"Yes. I ... I didn't want you to take the first of everything I had." Her laugh was bitter. "It was the only way I could spite you. The only form of rebellion I could think of. Sad, isn't it? Especially considering where we are now."

Orochimaru smirked. "Whether you are a virgin or not, I will enjoy this. And so will you." He pressed his hips against hers, and Anko groaned at the pressure where she ached most. He moved his lips against her ear, breathing the words in a dark, hungry voice: "Although ... I like the thought that you were thinking of me the first time you came."

Her lust clouded Anko's mind like a haze. She managed to pull enough thought together to flip him over, which he allowed, and lower her own head so she could use her lips and tongue to trace the paths her fingers had. Anko ground her hips against his, alternating smooth caresses with sharp scrapes of her nails and teeth that made him press up against her. She circled his nipple with her tongue, running her nails down his sides and giving back some of the pleasure/pain he'd given her. When she looked up to meet his eyes, with her mouth still on his skin, they met golden slits cloudy with lust of their own.

The Sannin pulled off the rest of her clothes, and flipped her over onto her back again. He spared a moment to sweep his eyes over her body, following the look with a caress that ran down the outside of her bare thigh. She tugged at his purple tie in disapproval of his few remaining clothes, and with a smirk he helped her remove them.

Orochimaru lowered his body down so it just pressed against hers, and he stopped her from writhing or arching up to take him in with a strong hand on her hips.

Anko moaned in protest and need, but the Sannin just smirked and waited until she was calm enough to meet his eyes. "What do you want me to do, Anko?" he asked, dark voice full of seductive temptation. He wanted her to fall from the precipice knowing exactly what he was going to do to her, and knowing that she had asked for it.

She pulled in her breath, going momentarily cold at the sight of Orochimaru leaning over her naked body. This was _Orochimaru_, with his cold gold eyes and calculating smile. It was _Orochimaru_ lowering his lips to run his tongue over her breast. It was _Orochimaru_ running teasing fingers across her inner thigh ... It was Orochimaru who pressed himself more firmly against her core, taunting her with her own lust.

_What have I become?_

But there was no room for thought. This was what she needed.

"I need you to take the emptiness away."

"What do you _want_ me to do, Anko?"

This was what she _wanted_.

"I want you to fuck me, Orochimaru!" she demanded, angry but helpless to resist, arching herself against him so that his length slid inside to fill some of the void.

She was too caught up in the insanity of _feeling_ to see his satisfied and triumphant smirk, before he gave her what she wanted. _Need_ wasn't enough for her to feel – needs were almost unconscious, and she had to make a conscious decision. _Want_, being unable to deny it, led the true path to the sin he wanted her to commit.

The sin of betrayal of all she'd left behind.

Anko wrapped her legs around him while he pressed deep inside her, and closed her eyes at the intensity of her physical reaction to the man who'd taken her in as a child, and who had taken some of her loneliness away.

"Open your eyes," he told her immediately.

"What?" she gasped the words.

His smile was wicked. "I want to see in your eyes what I'm doing to you."

Anko kept her eyes open, because denying him anything right at that moment was beyond her. Her need, her _want_, was building up into an unbearable intensity of feeling that threatened to wash her away. The roughness of it, of his strength and pace, just made her ache more and raised the intensity higher.

"Oh, god, Orochimaru," she breathed sharply, "Don't stop!"

She was reaching a peak of feeling that hit her like a wave. She shuddered in its path, crying out and holding him tightly. Orochimaru lowered his head and buried his fangs in her neck, exactly where he had all those years ago. Anko jerked, the action causing that intense peak feeling to jump higher than she'd even felt. Her curse seal flared into activity, and the wave became a tidal-wave, the jump off the cliff became a leap off of the highest mountain that never ended. It held so long she thought that she was going to die, but finally she was falling. She was falling into the darkness, the void, that was Orochimaru.

And she never wanted to stop.

Orochimaru pulled back, removing his teeth from her skin and leaving behind two beads of crimson blood that he cleared with a sweep of his tongue. He rolled them over so that she was lying against his chest, and he held her close within the circle of his arms.

Anko sighed, satiated and exhausted, and curled against him. He smoothed her hair away from her forehead, and she stroked her hand lazily over his chest. She fell quickly into sleep, but Orochimaru remained awake for a few moments longer. He pulled a light sheet over them both, and caressed her bare waist and thigh leisurely.

Tonight he would let her sleep, but tomorrow ... He smirked when he thought about tomorrow, and beyond. He looked down at the little kunoichi, the little spitfire, the lover of the famous Copy Nin, who would be the downfall of Konoha. _Hmm, and how I will enjoy the days until that final day comes, my little Anko. How many things I'm going to enjoy teaching you._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Have a brilliant day :)


	15. Ch15: Fallen

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Wow, I got more reviews for the last chapter than for any other! Thanks so much guys! I'm happy to know that I can write a decent lemon in your eyes, even if AnkOro isn't to everyone's taste. Because I couldn't resist, there is (WARNING) another shorter lemon at the end of this chapter ('M' rating is for a reason). This chapter also lays the base for moving the story on a little by giving more viewpoints from other key characters. I'm getting the feeling that it's lagging a bit ...

Thanks to the following for their reviews – they make me super-happy, not just because this is my first fanfic but because positive reinforcement is key to a creative (and speedily-updating) author ;):

BloodRedShadows, LostsoulofRegret, Chryseis Wyvernsen, Alucards-Vampire-BITCH, Sarah Pixen, blaa, blaze da dragon (sorry you aren't keen on the lemons; I can only say that I warned about them but I'm glad you like my take on Anko anyway)

Note about the beginning flashbacks: I wanted to fill in a bit of missing memory from when Sasuke used his Sharingan on Anko, and also give you a view about what conflict was going on in her head when she (gasp!) slept with Orochimaru so that you don't think it was a quick decision.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 15

**Fallen**

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko was standing on a crimson field that stretched to eternity. Everything was red – the clouds above, the ground below. Sasuke stood before her with his usual smile. No, it was slightly different ... _

"_You will be here until you are whole, Anko."_

"_Whole?" she asked, confused. "But I am whole."_

"_**No you aren't.**"_

_Anko turned around, and saw ... her mind shied away, but here it couldn't escape._

_The creature took a step forward, and grinned a feral smile that showed off its gleaming fangs. "**You pushed me away, but you can't escape me here.**"_

_The creature had arms and lips stained with deep red blood, and the seal of the snake spirit visible through the mesh clothing. It walked right up to her, and she saw the madness and darkness in its eyes._

_In her eyes._

_She was looking at herself._

"_God no," she whispered. "I'm not you! You are _not_ me!"_

"_**Are you sure?**" it asked, a mad smile lingering on its lips. "**Does anyone ever really known what they hide inside? What darkness grows beyond their sight? Why do you think he **_**chose****_ us, Anko? Because we are like him! Because we were not meant to be ordered around by those governed by weak, unworthy emotions!_**_" It spat the words venomously, and Anko saw flashes of memories of the council, and the stares people had given her as the student of the traitorous Sannin. "**And **_**you****_ had to push me away when we could have left with him!_**_"_

"_He betrayed my trust!" she shouted, driven to rage by the accusations and lies. "He betrayed me when he was all I had!"_

_It growled angrily. "**He gave us power because we were strong enough to take it, but you used it to push me aside and then you pushed **_**it****_ aside as well. Now I've used the snake spirit's power so that you can't ignore me any more. I'm as much you as _you_ are, and I won't let you become weak. I won't let _us_ become weak._**_"_

"_What are you going to do?"_

"_**I am you, and you are me. There will only be **_**us****_, and you won't be able to ignore what I want any more, because it will be what _you_ want._**_"_

The dream blurred, and moved on.

"_What do you want me to do, Anko?" he asked, dark voice full of seductive temptation._

_Want? Do I want this, want him? Do I even know? **Yes, I do know. I want him. He is all I have, and I want him to be my everything. I don't have anything else left.** But ... Kakashi ... Konoha ... I can't ... **They are gone. There is nothing else.** Nothing?** Nothing.** I want ... **Orochimaru.** Yes. I want Orochimaru. He's all I have. _

_But ... I'm not a thing driven only by wants and needs. I know he's manipulating me. _

_But right now, I don't have the strength or the will to deny what I want._

...o..o.o..o...

Anko stirred sleepily. She felt smooth skin against her cheek, and more under the palm of her right hand, which was stretched over a warm body. Her right leg, as well, was sprawled over more bare skin. _Hmm, lots of close contact going on here_, is what Anko _would_ have thought had she been properly awake yet (along with _What the hell _is_ going on here?_), but all she could think at the moment was: _Mmm, warm. Soft._

Slowly, very very slowly, Anko's brain started to fire synapses and make connections. It presented a picture of events that was at first fuzzy, and then clear. Way, way too clear.

Anko sat up abruptly, pulling the sheet to cover her bare chest, and jerked away from the warmth at the same time. She stared down at the body ... the _man_ she'd been clinging to, and could only speak two words.

"Aw, _fuck_!"

"I hoped you would suggest that," Orochimaru grinned lazily, and reached out to caress her bare thigh under the sheet.

Anko pulled her leg away, and then as more synapses started to fire, she held her head with the hand that wasn't holding the sheet to her chest. She gave a small moan and a grimace, "Oh god!"

"Yes?" his smirk was so smug she would have hit him if she'd been feeling up to it.

"No, you fu- ... you shithead bastard!" she growled, "I've got a bloody headache and-" more synapses firing, "_God_, what a shit hangover ..." she leaned over a bit, the nausea hitting hard.

Orochimaru sat up, the sheet sliding down his chest and Anko couldn't help her eyes being drawn to his skin, with memories rearing unwelcome. "Ugh, I can't do this ..." she mumbled, finally closing her eyes to try to stop remembering and staring. The full extent of everything hadn't hit her yet, for which she was grateful. She'd be happy to forget her name right at that moment.

The Sannin reached out to brush her hair back with his fingertips, and Anko tried not to show how good it felt. "I've got something to help you, if you wish."

The kunoichi just grumbled, and he smiled. He got up from the bed, not trying to hide or even shy of his nudity. He knew she was watching (_I can't help it! Bastard is doing it on purpose!_), and walked slowly to his desk. The Sannin picked up a jar, pulling two tablets out of it. He poured a glass of water from the jug sitting there, and sauntered back to bed with them both. Orochimaru was amused to see that she'd closed her eyes again, but was peeking through them as well.

He handed her the glass and tablets, and she wedged the sheet under her chin before taking them both. Anko stared at them, and at him, suspiciously but finally decided that if he'd wanted to kill her he would have done so long ago. She swallowed them quickly with a small grimace at the lingering taste, and sighed, slumping back on to the pillows a safe distance away from her companion.

"So ..." she said at last, hesitant as her headache eased.

"So?" he prompted, lying comfortably in uncomfortably close proximity.

"So that will not happen again." Anko's voice was firm as she looked over at him with steel in her eyes. _I will not allow it. This will be the end. Curiosity satisfied, and enough's enough._

"Why?"

"Because-"

"Because you feel that you betrayed something, someone?" his tone was scornful, mocking, and at the same time relentless in exposing her thoughts. "Because you think that everything I represent is wrong?" He stared her down, seeing through every charade. "Or because you are _afraid_, Anko, because you enjoyed it so much?" He forestalled an angry reply with a wave of his hand. "You can't lie to me. You did nothing more or less than you wanted. _You_ chose, Anko. Only you."

Anko studied his golden eyes, trying to see what lay beyond them other than deception and deceit. She tried to find compassion or caring, some form of tender feeling, but there was none to find. In a strange way it was a relief. Orochimaru never changed. His mask may have, but who he was underneath – as much of him as she'd ever seen – had not. He'd manoeuvred her into this position for a reason, but she'd face that reason later.

"Maybe I did," she admitted softly, "Maybe you think that this will get you what you want, whatever that is. But I'm still going to kill you."

His smirk as she moved slowly closer didn't change. It was that 'I know more than you do' smile, but that wasn't unusual.

And as he loomed over her, taking her to new heights and depths yet again, his reply was not unusual either.

"That's impossible."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Sasuke entered the lab slowly, as reluctant to have to endure his frequent exams as always. He hid it well behind a mask of arrogance, but Kabuto wasn't fooled. He would have disliked the job more if it didn't give him an opportunity to irritate the proud Uchiha. The spy had to have some form of entertainment, after all. He found it amusing that a boy with so little personality other than his arrogance and desire for revenge could have been so much the star of Konoha with a league of fan-girls (and some boys as well, he was sure). The Uchiha had evoked such feelings of friendship and loyalty in the Kyuubi boy that he sometimes believed that Sasuke was hiding his better qualities. _But no_, he thought, staring in the dark dead eyes, _If he had feelings other than revenge and hate Orochimaru has certainly killed them. Poor Naruto-kun. There's nothing left of the friend he cares so much for._

"How are you feeling today, Sasuke-san?" Kabuto asked the dark-haired young man.

"Fine." came the short reply as he sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Kabuto to draw a sample of blood and check his blood-pressure and breathing.

It was a short moment before he spoke again. "Where is Orochimaru?"

The medic looked up in slight surprise at the question. "He has not been training you this morning?"

The Uchiha looked away angrily. "No. I haven't seen him since yesterday evening when you made your report. He's wasting my time here if he isn't going to train me!" Sasuke's tone reminded Kabuto uncharitably of a sulking child.

"Perhaps he's been studying new jutsus for you to learn," Kabuto answered, placating the young man without much thought. _Interesting ... I wonder what he's been doing?_ Kabuto thought for a moment longer, remembering reports about Anko overindulging at the bar the previous night. He made it his business to keep an eye on the kunoichi – not only because Orochimaru had told him to, but because he found her interesting.

He suddenly recalled that he'd had a report that Anko hadn't been in her room that morning. He'd thought she had just been training early to work off her hangover.

"Have you seen Anko-san this morning?" the spy asked at last.

Sasuke looked at him incredulously, like he thought him mad to even think of her. "No."

Kabuto adjusted his glasses as his mind worked to make the possible connection. It was unlikely, but ...

_'What' he's been doing?_ The medic thought, interest rising at the possibility, _More like 'who'._

"So where is he, Kabuto?" Sasuke asked at last, suspicious of the expression on the spy's face.

"I think he's otherwise occupied, Sasuke-san. And I don't think it would be wise to interrupt." Kabuto replied slowly. He was examining his own reaction to what he believed was going on, and found it unusual. The thought of his master sleeping with anyone was ... well, it just defied imagination, and was frankly disturbing. He couldn't picture the cold Sannin feeling enough of anything for anyone to bed them, even just for self-satisfaction. It meant that the spy had miscalculated in his perception of Orochimaru, and he didn't like that at all. _No. Not at all._ Orochimaru was the one person he couldn't afford to underestimate.

Yet Orochimaru's motives were always selfish. He could understand that the step, though unusual, was probably another form of manipulation of his old student. Manipulation to what purpose, he didn't know. If it was some plan, the Sannin would likely tell him soon enough. It was that '_probably_' that he didn't like.

But it was more than that. The kunoichi was attractive, both because of her looks and her strength, and he'd enjoyed their occasional flirtation. Kabuto had discovered that he'd found it entertaining having her along on their mission even if he hadn't needed her there. She'd appeared disturbed by the brutality, but it hadn't stopped her either. She was fierce, and edgy, and in a way he found he understood her flavour of insanity. Orochimaru had that effect on his subordinates.

He realised that, if his suspicions were true, he was a little ... jealous.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Hokage-sama ...?" the voice was tentative. The Hokage was easy to anger these days.

"Yes, Shizune?"

"A message for you, from Jiraiya-sama."

Tsunade's face lit up at the mention of her old teammate. It was a welcome distraction from the constant bad news. "What does that old toad want?" she asked, taking the scroll. The Sannin unrolled it, but her expression turned quickly from happy to grim.

"Is something wrong, Hokage-sama?" her aide asked anxiously. She was worried about the woman who was her teacher, but also her friend.

"They're fine, but they had a run-in with a certain missing kunoichi. Call Yuuhi Kurenai and Hatake Kakashi for me, please."

Tsunade spent the time waiting for the jonin in phrasing how she would tell them the news. She knew they would be upset, anxious, eager to run after the latest traces of Mitarashi Anko. The ANBU had had no luck, Kurenai was between missions and Kakashi had healed enough and he'd had plenty of ANBU experience. _If I don't give them permission to go, Kakashi will go anyway. He's a stubborn bastard, and he's worried. I would be worried too. She's been with Orochimaru for too long. If she's even still alive, which I think she is. Hopefully Kurenai can keep him in line._

It didn't take long for the jonin to arrive. Kakashi took one look at the Godaime's expression, and stepped forward. "Is it-"

"Jiraiya and Naruto-kun have seen Mitarashi Anko in a village on the edge of the Water Country."

"They didn't bring her back?" Kakashi said, furious.

"No, Kakashi, they didn't."

"_Why_?!"

Tsunade met his glare with a more than formidable stare of her own. "Because she didn't want to come back."

The silence was shocked, confused. Heartbroken. Kakashi stared at the floor with his visible eye. The mask he wore, as always, hid his real expression. But Tsunade could imagine what it was.

"Hokage-sama," Kurenai said finally, subdued as she broke the quiet. "What happened? What did she say?"

The Hokage sighed. "She told Jiraiya that she made a mistake, and she went to the only person who could help her. She said that she plans to kill Orochimaru once she's done, and then she plans to go after Akatsuki. Anko also revealed that she knows what the council think of her, and that she has no illusions about her freedom if she should come back. Unfortunately, as we've discussed, she's probably right about that."

"That isn't going to make it any easier to convince her to return," Kurenai commented wryly. "Can't you do something about that, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade shrugged. "Maybe after she's back here, and if she came by her own free will. I'm sorry to say that it may not make a difference, unless she does kill Orochimaru. But that, I think, is impossible."

"She's stronger than you think." Kakashi said quietly, with steel in his voice.

"She also told Naruto-kun that she saw Uchiha Sasuke." Kakashi looked up at her with a haunted eye. "She told him that the friend as he knew him is dead." Tsunade rubbed her temple, longing for a bottle of sake. Life hadn't always been so complicated. Friends used to stay friends, until Orochimaru changed that. "Orochimaru can not be underestimated. Anko knows a lot about Konoha's defences, and while you may not believe that she would help him we can't take that risk. Jiraiya said that her chakra levels were worryingly high, almost unhealthily so. He also said that she was ready to fight him, and Naruto, if he hadn't let her go.

"Hatake Kakashi, Yuuhi Kurenai, I want you to go to this village where Mitarashi Anko was last seen and find her. I believe that there may be clues to find there, because she would have had a purpose in that village. Find it, find the connection to Orochimaru, and find her. Do what you have to to bring her back."

"Hai!" both jonin replied sharply.

"And by damn don't you dare let yourselves get killed." she added softly as they turned face and left together.

Kakashi was visibly tense as they left the Tower. Kurenai watched him out of the corner of her red eyes. It was strange to see the normally laid-back shinobi acting so differently. When Sasuke had left, he had also been visibly affected.

Kurenai hadn't known him well when they were younger. She knew of him, of course, but they hadn't been close. They weren't close now – Kakashi let no one in except, it seemed, Anko – but they had spent more time together since they took on genin. She had never been attracted to him really – Asuma had stolen her heart long ago – but she could see why women were. The kunoichi knew some of his story. She knew that his father had killed himself when he failed a mission to save his teammates instead, and that Kakashi's eye had come from an Uchiha teammate who had died on a mission. They all knew he had been an ANBU for a while.

But he was mostly a mystery.

"I'm sure we'll find her, Kakashi," she said softly.

The Copy Nin didn't meet her eyes when he replied.

"I'll see you at the West gate in an hour."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko stepped into the shower, and turned on the water immediately. She welcomed the hard spray. The kunoichi wanted nothing more than to feel clean, but knew that it would take more than water for that.

There was a mirror on one wall of the shower, Orochimaru had mirrors everywhere although she'd never thought of him as being particularly vain, and she stared at her reflection again. She ran shaking fingers over the red marks on her skin, over twin puncture-wounds and developing bruises. She couldn't recognise herself, but was getting used to that.

Her abdomen clenched, and she felt an odd sensation of _slithering_ inside her skull before she saw the reflection of a snake in the mirror as well. It coiled around her waist, resting its great head on her shoulder. She could feel its forked tongue brush against her cheek.

Anko stared at it expressionlessly. "I suppose you want out, don't you?"

"No. This experience has been ... interesting. As much as anything you humans do is interesting." The snake's voice was just like it had been all those weeks ago. A strange mixture of hissed speech, combined with a completely expressionless, emotionless tone and pauses while it tried to find words to express its thoughts. Anko wondered how much 'interest' it actually felt. "You said you wanted to kill the one who betrayed you. I find it ... interesting ... that you have not done so."

"You wouldn't understand."

"No. It is a human thing, to act like you do."

"What do you want?" she asked at last. The reminder that her soul wasn't alone in her body was frankly unwelcome.

"The ... human male. He is too strong to kill, and it would be foolish to try. You must choose a wiser path if you wish to live."

"I am going to kill him." Anko replied, soft voice not hiding the fury beneath.

"Strange. Is that what you really want? Perhaps what you have started is a better way."

"Leave me the _fuck_ alone, snake," the kunoichi snarled. It was one thing to doubt herself (_What have I become?_) but another entirely to hear a serpent offer its reptilian opinion on her sex life, no matter how screwed up it may be.

She blinked, and the snake was gone. She could almost feel it still around her body.

Anko heard the door to the bathroom swing open, and then shut. Then the shower door slid open, and another snake slid its arms around her waist and rested its head on her shoulder. Orochimaru.

"I'm not in the mood, Orochimaru." she said firmly. Anko was tired, and disturbed by her inner resident's visit, but last night and that morning she had had some of the best sex of her life and her body took no time in reminding her of that fact.

"I'm sure I can change that," he smirked slyly. The Sannin was certainly confident of his own skill, and she had to give him that. He was good. There were some things that only a very flexible body and super-long tongue could achieve.

He pressed against her back, obviously very keen to show her how much he would _enjoy_ changing her mind. It reminded her of the last time she'd made love to Kakashi in the shower, but the Copy Nin faded all too quickly from her mind. She couldn't find it in her to protest when his hands wandered from her waist to slide across the skin of her stomach, her breasts. He turned her head to the side and caught her lips in a slow, burning kiss while a free hand smoothed over the expanse of her exposed throat. The other slid down her waist, along the outside of her thigh and then inwards.

The kunoichi's breath caught, and she stopped his hand with one of her own, but he twisted his grip and moved her hand across her own skin. Through the corner of her eyes Anko could see their reflection even though the water vapour had blurred the image. She twisted in his arms because she didn't want to see it any more.

Orochimaru moved her until her back was against the cold mirror on the tiled wall, and pulled her one leg up and around his waist. They fitted together so easily. It was like they were the perfect match, but that did not make Anko happy at all. She had an addiction to him, to his body, but she told herself that that was all it was. Orochimaru was a drug. To her, he always had been.

Their skin moved smoothly together, and she threw her head back. Her body was his possession. It was an instrument he knew how to play so well.

"We should have started this long ago, Anko, don't you think? Would you have left me then?" he asked, wickedly amused.

The thought of herself, as a young child, with him in this way ... it was horrifying, disturbing, _wrong_, and yet it aroused her in a sick way. She knew that she wouldn't have denied him anything back then. He was all she'd had, and she'd adored him, worshipped him. She'd loved him.

"You're sick," she answered at last.

Orochimaru's laugh was a rumble that vibrated against her skin. "Perhaps, but then you are no different. Tell me. Would you have left?"

Anko gasped. The Sannin maintained his rhythm, and her back pressed uncomfortably against the wall but she didn't really notice. He'd adjusted the angle of her hips, and she was seeing stars every time he moved.

"No!" she breathed at last.

"No?" he asked, pretending to misunderstand and slowing his pace.

"Ah! You fucking bastard!" she forced through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't have left you!"

He smiled at her approvingly. "I thought not." _This is an interesting method of conditioning,_ he thought, _And it is certainly more satisfying._ Anko's nails dug into his skin as she cried out, and he found her reaction very satisfying indeed. No method of torture or persuasion could have reduced her to such a vulnerable state. It wouldn't take long for her to crave his touch. Men were supposed to be slaves to this kind of action, but he had never been a slave to anything – not even the urgings of his own body.

As Anko gave in again, she thought she'd fallen as far into Orochimaru's nightmare as there was too fall. But there was far more to come.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: Sorry for any discrepancies along the way :)


	16. Ch16: Mistakes

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Sorry for the late update everyone, if you check my profile you'll find the reason. Future updates may be delayed as well because of university stuff. It all depends on how hard I work! Thanks to the following people for amazing reviews: BloodRedShadows, Chryseis Wyvernsen, LostsoulofRegret, Alucards-Vampire-BITCH, Sarah Pixen1, Blaze da Dragon, Dysthe, kimi562 and joly.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 16

**Mistakes**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko staggered over to the side of the training grounds, and let herself down slowly on to the fallen log. Her breaths came in deep, labouring gasps, and her limbs shook. The kunoichi wiped her face with a hand, and cursed softly. But even as she was sitting there, exhausted, she thought she could feel the energy trickling back. She'd drained her stored resources, but thanks to the spirit's added energy it didn't take as long to make it up any more.

She couldn't help feeling a surge of irritation at her training partner, who stood about a metre away looking as good as he ever did, and as fresh as if he'd had a nap. Orochimaru had an expression of faint surprise at her weariness.

"Another break, Anko?" he asked mockingly.

Anko gritted her teeth, but didn't reply. He would only mock her more, and he was doing what she'd asked – he was training her, and she was getting stronger. Sasuke wasn't taking it too well, but the Sannin had pointed out the benefits of having another person to spar with, and he'd calmed down.

Anko had certainly enjoyed their first spar, when Orochimaru had forbidden use of the Level Two curse seal and Anko had beaten the Uchiha with relative ease. She'd been trained as a child by Orochimaru after all, and had had Kakashi as a training partner so she was used to the Sharingan. She had the advantage of experience as well.

Sasuke hadn't taken the loss well, but it had made Orochimaru's decision to include Anko more logical. The Uchiha had been determined to beat her ever since, and he'd come very close a few times. He had a lot of skill, she had to give him that.

It had been a week since 'the incident', as Anko preferred to refer to it in her mind. More like 'the fuck-up' – in more ways than one, of course. Sasuke was oblivious, but she was pretty certain that Kabuto knew. He'd been giving her odd looks, and with his spy skills it wouldn't have surprised her if he'd known the very next day. If anyone else knew, they were being discrete. They'd learned by now how Anko reacted to people she considered 'irritating', and they were probably too scared or in awe of Orochimaru to gossip where she could hear them.

Anko hadn't exactly moved in to his room, but she ended up there more than she would like. When she tried to escape to her room, she undoubtedly had a visitor at some time of the night. It was all so intense, and so messed up, that she'd tried to stop thinking about it. It brought on too much guilt, too much regret, too much anger.

Orochimaru was giving her a _look_ again, that said he was thinking about what he was going to do to her when they were next alone. And she felt such self-disgust at the instant way her body heated up. It was nothing more than lust, she was so sure, but lust was bad enough.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kakashi and Kurenai finally arrived at the village where Anko was last seen a few days after they had been given their mission. It took a few hours before they could persuade someone to tell them everything that had happened in the village. Despite the fact that there were obviously a few less-than-legal operations going on, it didn't take a genius to realise that the murder of a 'business man' and his bodyguards sounded like what they were looking for.

When they arrived at the house in question, the bodies had been cleared but the amount of blood and stories of those who had seen them was enough to paint a bloody picture of events.

"God, Kakashi," Kurenai said softly as they stood in the last room, which held a chair where the most grotesquely mutilated figure of the boss had been tortured. "Do you think it was Anko? Do you think she could have ...?"

The Copy Nin studied the rooms, the bloodstains, and recalled every detail of the stories. "I think she was here, but I don't think she would have done this. This torture looks like Kabuto's work."

Kurenai nodded slowly. "Then this ... man was involved with one of Orochimaru's operations. Someone who'd disobeyed maybe?"

Kakashi walked to one wall, tapping on the wood. "We might find something here that leads to him. We have to find something."

The kunoichi stared at his back for a moment, before moving to another part of the room to try and find something herself.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

His lips burned against hers, a smouldering fire that spread along her nerves so that it felt like she was catching alight. He pulled at her clothes, tearing them open, but she pulled back and threw a punch at his midsection. He grabbed hold of her wrist, using the momentum to spin her so that her back slammed against the stone wall behind them.

Anko coughed harshly, her body aching from the day of sparring and then this. Whatever 'this' was. Orochimaru came towards her with a smug smile, and she pretended to relax in surrender. But when she judged his guard down, she fell into a crouch and kicked his legs out from under him, sweeping him off his feet so that he landed heavily on his back.

The Sannin smirked as she straddled his waist where he lay on the floor, breathing heavily from more than the strain of fighting. His hands slid up and down her thighs, and his smile, his expression, made her suddenly feel something other than lust, or anger, or guilt. He made her feel strong, and special, and beautiful. It was so unexpected that for a moment she couldn't breathe because she was so lost in the wash of emotion. Anko leaned down to kiss him, but it was different from before. It was filled with a strange kind of affection, and some of the love she'd felt for him when she was a child – an almost innocent, lost and lonely love, but love nonetheless.

Orochimaru seemed to pause for a moment, and then he twisted them so that he was lying over her, and he returned her kiss with one that seemed to contain affection of his own. Maybe it was a lie, maybe her reaction meant that in some way he'd won, but it felt good.

When Anko was lying satiated once again in his arms the memories of his skin against hers, and his lips sliding across every inch of her body, were overwhelming. He might have been her enemy, but he'd taken the emptiness away.

Their spars had been carried into one of the rooms away from prying eyes and ending in the same way with increasing frequency. It was disturbing, and exhilarating, in its _wrong_ness. Anko was becoming addicted to him, and it was scary. She'd spared a quiet thanks for the jutsu that all ninja learnt as a method of contraception. It was only practical that they worked out a way that even married kunoichi could prevent from conceiving, and then miscarrying if they were on a mission and didn't know that they were pregnant. Shinobi, as well, could use the jutsu. The less than savoury undercover missions sometimes involved intimate relations, and the jutsu prevented mistakes. Anko hadn't considered, and didn't want, a child.

Anko watched her fingers trace paths on his chest, along his neck and throat to rest on the arm he had slung over her. She wondered how long such a peaceful interlude could last until it all came to a crashing end. How long was it before Orochimaru used her up and threw her aside? _Maybe he won't this time,_ a small part of her mind whispered, but she knew that it was wistful thinking. He never changed, but _she_ had. When he wanted to use her and leave, he'd get a surprising reaction this time. She wasn't a child any more, and she was going to kill him. _When?_ she couldn't help asking herself. She was lying in bed with him, he was naked, unarmed and asleep – wouldn't now be a good time? _No,_ she thought softly, fingers tightening their grip, _when I'm tired of him. When I've learnt enough. When I've had enough. Then I'll do it. Not now._

She closed her eyes and crushed the part of her mind that asked when she was going to stop making excuses.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The Sannin watched on as his two students sparred again. His eyes tracked their movements, their attacks and counters. Sasuke would use a fire jutsu attack, and Anko would counter with a water attack that he'd taught her. She hadn't learnt that many new jutsus since he'd last taught her, which he'd said was Konoha's fault. It was like they'd stopped training her when she left him, and everything new she learnt she'd taught herself. _Disgraceful,_ he thought, watching her smooth movements,_ they didn't even know what they had._

"Orochimaru-sama?"

He glanced at his most loyal subordinate. "Yes, Kabuto?"

The spy spoke quietly, to keep their conversation private. "I've had a report that they are in the village. It shouldn't take them long to find what I left." He stopped for a moment, and then lifted the corners of his lips in a tight smile. "And you were right about who would come after her."

The Sannin smirked, watching Anko catch Sasuke in an earth-jutsu trap. "Of course. He wouldn't be able to keep away from such ... _tempting _bait."

"But ..." Kabuto began slowly, carefully, "Are you sure you don't want me to deal with him? Would it not be better to get him out of the way now?"

Orochimaru smiled, amused at his servant's eagerness to take on the man he'd fought once already. "No. My plans will carry out like they are. She will react the way I predict, and so will Konoha. Once they have shown her who she stands with, I will get the information I need. You forget that I taught her, and she knows more about Konoha than even Tsunade could guess."

"Why don't you force her to tell you?" the spy asked.

The Sannin paused, considering, before smirking cruelly. "Because it is more ... amusing, this way. And she will be more useful as a subordinate than she would be dead or broken." _Although, in a way, she is broken already._ He watched on approvingly as Sasuke gave Anko some of what she'd given him. His surprise attack had flung her through the air, and her body slammed into a tree before melting into mud. _Kawarimi. She's learning._ The Uchiha stared around warily, and managed to evade her following attack. "And have you heard from our ... friends?" he asked at last.

Kabuto nodded, adjusting his frames. "Yes. They are eager to make sure Konoha doesn't ever recover. But what if Suna interferes?"

"They are too far away to bring help in time." _Tsunade will pay the price of over-stretching her resources and underestimating mine, and even that fool Jiraiya and his new student won't be there to get in the way, _he thought contemptuously.

"And ... Sasuke?"

Orochimaru stared at the fighting ex-Konoha nin, and gave a small sigh of pleasure when Sasuke used a new and particularly complicated jutsu to trap Anko long enough for him to get a clean, hard hit. "He feels nothing for them any more. It will be interesting to see how he performs." He turned a hard stare at his subordinate, "But he is _not_ to be injured. Understood?"

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

They continued watching until the two opponents were exhausted and Orochimaru called a halt before either could be named the clear winner. Sasuke was improving with the experience Anko offered, and she wasn't winning so easily any more.

The Sannin stopped Anko before she left to wash and eat.

"He's improving," she commented, seeming almost surprised but not as competitive or bitter as he might have thought.

"I chose him for a reason."

"Well I knew it wasn't for his personality."

Orochimaru smirked, and then reached out to trail a finger down her right arm. "I won't be here tonight." he told her, with almost-regret.

"Oh." She didn't know what to say. _Damn. So what. Why should I care. Don't leave me. Go and fucking never come back._ "Fine." Anko turned and left, pretending that she didn't care whether she ever saw him again or not. But he knew better.

His gold eyes hid the amusement behind the 'regret'.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

She couldn't sleep.

Anko stared up at the stone ceiling, frustrated and tired but unable to do anything about it. She hated how she wished he was there. _I'm just bored,_ she told herself, _I'm just lonely. There's no other reason._ Of course not.

The kunoichi got up, and pulled some clothes on before leaving her room and the underground building. She'd been there ... how many weeks? Months? But the dank darkness still unnerved her. She walked outside, and breathed a deep sigh. The stars were bright lights in a sea of darkness, and the wind refreshed her and washed away the damp smell of earth and stone. She walked into the trees, and then took to the branches until she was outside the boundaries of Orochimaru's hideout. Looking back, there was no trace that anything had ever been there. The snake Sannin's concealment jutsus were second to none.

She sat on a high tree branch, staring up at the sky. Anko didn't like or hate the night sky. The stars made her feel insignificant, which she didn't like, and she found a cloudy sky oppressive. She wasn't happy with either. Maybe that was the problem. She wasn't happy, but she'd never really been except when she was a child. After her innocence was stripped away, nothing was the same. She'd gone from child to bitter adult in a week, and hadn't shed a tear since. She held it all inside: her bitterness, her anguish, her despair, her rage. It was a simmering whirlpool of emotion that had bred the split personality, and the wariness. She had been a mess, and still was.

_Love? Do I ...?_ She wanted to cry her unshed tears. Orochimaru was her enemy. He had brought her nothing but hell, yet she couldn't escape. She wouldn't escape until he was dead, she'd known that for so long, but he ... Her feelings for him were so twisted that she couldn't untangle them enough to see what they _were_. When he touched her, she could forget the madness that made up her life, but it was so _wrong_.

Anko let the breeze clear her thoughts, and she closed her eyes and tried to meditate. She tried to leave it all behind. But she'd never been really good at that.

...o..o.o..o...

"_Orochimaru-sama!" she cried, running to her sensei excitedly. The older man looked up at her from his place at his desk. The Sannin's lips widened in a small smile._

"_Anko, what have I said about disturbing my study?"_

_Anko looked at the scroll in his hand, wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, Orochimaru-sama," she said, properly subdued._

"_What is it?"_

_She met his eyes, excitement shining from hers again. "I did it! I completed the jutsu!"_

"_Show me."_

_His proud smile and praise lifted her soul up. He made her feel wanted. He made her feel like she wasn't alone, even when she returned to her empty family home. She didn't have much time there any more, but it was enough to remember what she'd lost._

_Anko fingered her necklace, the last present her parents had given her and one she never took off. The Hokage had encouraged her to think of a life other than that of a kunoichi, but she would have none of it. Her sensei believed in her, and she would do anything for him._

_Anko slumped to her knees on the beach. Her breaths came in short, sharp, agonising gasps and her legs couldn't hold her up any more. She crawled along the sand a way, but stopped when her arms gave up on her. She knew that she had to keep moving, that she had to _get away_ from something, but at the same time there was a void inside her that was larger than the one where her memories should have been._

_She grabbed handfuls of the coarse sand, and squeezed it in her fists. The grains slipped between her fingers, and she gripped harder but more fell to the ground. Anko slammed her fists against the sandy beach, and screamed her anguish. That was how the ANBU found her._

_She was crying hysterically, and didn't respond to anything they said. When one mentioned Orochimaru as a traitor, she cried harder. _

"_Don't leave me!" she sobbed, and nothing they said could make her stop repeating the words, because she wasn't speaking to them._

_He was tasting her skin. She cried out as his teeth sunk into her shoulder, and groaned when he filled her aching emptiness. His eyes as they locked on to hers were a radiant gold, and his hair spread across her stomach like an ebony silk curtain. She burned hotter when he spoke to her, when he told her what he wanted to do to her._

_When he told her that she was his._

...o..o.o..o...

"Anko?"

The kunoichi opened her eyes slowly. She stared at the branch across from hers, at the man standing there and the woman who landed next to him. It felt like a dream. She'd been floating in a sea of memory, and this didn't feel like reality.

"Anko?" he repeated. "Anko, are you alright?"

She shook her head slowly, coming out of her daze. Reality hit hard, and Anko leapt backwards as Kakashi made a move towards her.

"It's us, Anko!" Kurenai called anxiously.

"You're coming home." Kakashi added softly. She could see the hurt in his eyes, but nothing touched her heart. She didn't have one.

Anko shook her head again. "I don't have a home. Especially not in Konoha."

Kakashi took another step forwards. "You have a home with me."

The kunoichi laughed bitterly. "I'm a murderer, Kakashi. The only home Konoha will offer me is a prison cell, and I won't accept that. There are things I have to do first."

"You don't have to be personally responsible for killing Orochimaru, Anko." Kurenai said firmly. "There are a lot of people who want to claim that task, and it's not up to you to betray everything to do that."

_Betrayal? If only you knew ... _Anko's lips widened in a mocking smile, and her eyes watched Kakashi as she spoke. "Who said I want to _kill_ Orochimaru, Kurenai?" her voice was cruel, and her words were meant to hurt.

"You did." he replied softly. "And I won't let him make you forget that. You've made mistakes, Anko, but I'm going to take you back whether you want to go or not."

"You can try." Anko replied, and Kurenai started at her tone of voice. She was so much darker, so different to how she had been. She wasn't hiding the darkness inside any more – she wasn't trying to fight it.

Kakashi uncovered his Sharingan eye, and the black tears spun as he leapt at Anko. Kurenai wanted to call him back, but the words stuck in her throat. She could only watch for the moment, stunned at the sight of the shinobi and kunoichi fighting.

It wasn't like the spars they had often had. They were both fighting for real, and the blows were meant to hurt. Anko's jutsus had advanced exponentially since she'd last seen her fight, and Kakashi was having trouble adjusting. Kurenai could see that he was surprised at the kunoichi's strength.

Kakashi was flung backwards, but he recovered in time to land on his feet. He stared at Anko for a moment, and she stared right back. "You did learn from him." he said softly.

"I'm not weak any more, Kakashi. I won't let you make me weak again."

"_I_ made you weak?" the shinobi asked incredulously, showing more emotion than was characteristic for him. "What are you talking about?"

_You made me feel like I could be free from vengeance. You made me feel like I could leave the darkness behind. But I can't. What would you say if you knew what I've done? _

_You are my weakness._

"You can't save me, Kakashi." Anko replied. "There's nothing left to save." The conversation was so obscure, so dramatic, so pointless. There was no use in talking. She had nothing to say to him that wouldn't hurt. Anko attacked him again using the Shadow Snake Hand, and he leapt out of the way. They were fighting again, but now Kurenai decided that it was time she stopped watching. Anko wasn't going to leave with them by her own will.

_This is going to be a long fight,_ the genjutsu expert thought.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko breathed hard in her place behind one of the giant tree trunks. It was one thing taking on Kakashi, but Kurenai was a brilliant jonin as well. The kunoichi had almost been caught by her genjutsus a number of times, and had a great respect for them. She'd only escaped because of how much she'd improved, and it was still a close thing. Anko had to draw on more of the snake spirit's power than she had before, because the fight had already lasted a few hours and was against two jonin rather than a young Uchiha.

She glanced around the tree, and had to jerk back to avoid a water attack from Kakashi. At the same time, Kurenai threw kunai from the other side, and Anko leapt straight upwards to a higher branch. The Konoha jonin were very good, but she had more power. She just had to draw on it.

Anko pulled more chakra from that alien source inside herself, and could feel it flow along her vein and chakra paths bringing new strength. She launched from her hiding place, attacking both jonin simultaneously. This time, she used kunai combined with chakra that gave them enough power to go through anything in their way and aimed them at where she knew Kakashi and Kurenai were. They dodged, but it was a close thing. Both stared at each other, shocked at the reserves Anko had.

Anko started to move towards another vantage point, but a sharp pain in her chest made her drop to her knees. She couldn't stop a small gasp of pain, and thought for a moment that she was going to black out, but pushed past it and forced herself to stand. But Kakashi attacked again, and Anko had to put up a mud shield to ward off his shuriken. Kurenai followed with another water strike, and Anko warded that off as well. They were pounding her, and she didn't have a chance to counter. _I need to get out of this! _She thought furiously.

But with each successive use of chakra, the pain intensified. Something thick and wet was running from her nose and from the corners of her eyes. She grimaced as she failed to stop a kunai which slammed into her shoulder, but the pain from that was nothing compared to the fire following her chakra paths. The world span as her clarity of vision faded, and Anko fell to her knees, and was about to fall further when strong hands caught her shoulders. Words tried to filter through, but they were too far away.

And then there was nothing but darkness.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: I think the end is in sight in a few chapters' time! I'm not going to rush it, but one of my goals is to write a complete story so it is going to end at some point. Thanks for all the support, and I hope you enjoyed reading :)


	17. Ch17: Nothing

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Here's quite a quick update, because I haven't really started hectic work for my subjects yet. I feel like the story has changed over time, and the characters have maybe become a bit OOC, but I hope you are all still enjoying it. If you have any comments, questions, requests etc. just let me know and I'll try reply. Have a great day!

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 17

**Nothing**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

There was always pain in her world. She could never escape from it. Pain of loneliness, pain of loss, pain of betrayal, and of course the more mundane physical pain as well. Her life flowed from the one type to the other, with no peace in between.

When Anko woke up this time, the pain was fuzzy and muffled by drugs and medics. She could sense the chakra block preventing her from feeling most of the pain, and the other block stopping her from using her own chakra. But she'd known where she was before she'd sensed that. The green, forest smells combined with those that accumulate in confined spaces was a dead give-away. And when she tried to shift her limbs and couldn't, that confirmed it.

She opened her eyes to the ceiling of a prison room in Konoha. The room wasn't as bad as some she'd seen, so she hadn't been thrown away to their darkest dungeon. Yet.

A medic she didn't recognise entered, and checked her vitals and chart. He checked her over with his chakra as well, and then left. All without speaking a word. Anko stared up the whole time, ignoring the intrusion. Her mind was too preoccupied with what had happened.

_I used more chakra than my body could handle, _she thought to herself. _Why didn't that fucking snake warn me?!_

Three ANBU entered shortly after the medic left, and they unstrapped her cautiously before escorting her out of the room. She could feel the hostility radiating from all three of them. _I killed one of their own. I left Konoha with Orochimaru. I betrayed them._

They didn't speak either, except for monosyllabic orders.

Her wrists were chained together behind her back, and her ankles were chained together as well with just enough slack to let her walk carefully. Both chains were joined together, to prevent her from lifting her arms up, and the chains on her wrist were also attached to her waist so that she couldn't move them at all. It was a thorough binding, and combined with the chakra block meant that there was very little she could do to escape. It was practically impossible. She was being treated like a criminal who'd already been found guilty.

The ANBU lead her into a small room, which she recognised as an interrogation chamber. It had the one-way mirror, the small table and two chairs bolted to the floor, and the scent of fear permeating the walls. Konoha had been a powerful shinobi nation for a long time, and had had no few enemies over that period including rival shinobi nations. The rooms had seen enough use through the years.

Anko sat in the chair, waiting for them to chain her to it, and wondered who they would send to her. Ibiki? He was their expert. She wondered whether she merited his presence. _Maybe. Probably. What does it matter?_

But Anko hadn't really expected who finally walked into the room, though she should have. The Godaime had some personal experience when it came to Orochimaru, after all.

Tsunade strode in, and stared at Anko in silence for a moment. It was a minor tactic to get the prisoner feeling guilty and intimidated, but Anko wasn't going to speak first. She glanced at the mirror, and wondered who was on the other side. Kakashi, if they'd let him, probably Ibiki, maybe some ANBU and other jonin. Shizune would be there, of course. Maybe that girl who had been Sasuke's friend.

The Hokage sighed, glancing at the mirror as well before turning back to Anko. "You've put me in a difficult position, Anko. From the parts of your story that we can decipher, there is more going on here than we know. Your actions have people demanding justice, and the council do not find you very trustworthy." Tsunade rested her hands on the table, and leaned forward. "I am here because I understand more than anyone left in Konoha what Orochimaru is like. I wanted to question you, because I _know_. Tell me, Anko. Tell me why. You have a lot of friends here who want to help you."

Anko stared at the other woman, wondering how she managed so easily to make her want to speak. She made her want to talk, because the Hokage _would_ understand more than anyone else could. But she couldn't speak. She couldn't initiate everything. Her reasons for what she did, what she felt, just didn't make sense in the terms that the people of Konoha understood.

The Sannin sat down and leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. "Tell me why your chakra paths were so damaged that it took a whole day to heal them, Anko. Why is there a foreign source of chakra in your body? What have you done to yourself?"

Anko looked down at the surface of the table. She could see herself reflected there faintly, with a snake coiled over her shoulders. She closed her eyes.

"I used one of Orochimaru's jutsus that I found in one of the rooms storing his scrolls in the Tower. I remembered seeing the scroll when he was still teaching me, and happened to pick that one out." she said quietly. _Maybe they will forgive me if I tell them. Maybe they will take me back. Maybe Kakashi will understand._

"Why did you use this jutsu? Why were you looking through Orochimaru's forbidden scrolls?"

Anko looked up to meet the Hokage's eyes. "Because I wanted to become stronger. Because he has to die, so that I can live in peace. The nightmares won't go away until I ..." She paused, and tried to pull herself together. "He took everything from me. I have to take it back, and I don't care what I have to do to do it."

Tsunade sighed. It was no more than she had expected. "What is the jutsu, Anko?"

"It is a soul-sharing jutsu." She could imagine the gasps of shock on the other side of the mirror. "But it was not in my complete control. There are periods of time that I don't consciously remember, when ..."

"When you killed two Konoha ANBU." Tsunade finished the sentence for her. She watched the kunoichi carefully. "So you don't remember that?"

Anko grimaced. "Not completely. It was like I was dreaming of another time when ... when Orochimaru made me kill a spy that would have revealed his experiments to the Sandaime. Not that I knew that at the time." The kunoichi leaned back a little in her chair, and stared up at the ceiling. "It was on one of our early missions. We were meant to stop the spy selling information about Konoha's defences but I made a mistake, and he almost got away. To make up for it, Orochimaru told me to kill him. He told me that the man was too dangerous to bring back." She could see the events in her mind's eye, and in an abstract way she could feel her horror and fear again. "I didn't want to do it. I was about to refuse, when the spy tried to attack me. Then he was dead. It was the first man I ever killed."

"Why did you leave with Orochimaru, Anko?"

"Because he was the only person I could think of that could teach me control. I thought he would give me power, and then I would use it to kill him. I told him I'd kill him." Anko smiled bitterly, self-mockingly, "He just laughed."

"You should have come to me," the Hokage replied with some anger. "You of all people should know that you can't trust Orochimaru!"

Anko bowed her head. "I know, but you would have removed the jutsu, or sealed it, and then taken away my rank. I would have had to become a missing nin anyway, to get my revenge. It was the only way." There was a glint of fanaticism in her eyes, and it reminded Tsunade all to clearly of Sasuke.

Tsunade slammed her fist on the table, which cracked audibly, and growled at the kunoichi. "You had a choice, Anko! You should have left your revenge behind! Now you've put all of us in a damn hell of a situation, and I can't promise you anything! You could die for this betrayal, you do realise that, don't you?!"

Anko's head snapped up, and her eyes were fierce. "I will not die here," she growled, and Tsunade could see some of the darkness and madness that Kurenai had told her about.

The Godaime ignored her tone, and glared back at her. "What have you been doing with Orochimaru? Where is his hideout?"

She smirked, her whole demeanour changing. "You'll never find him. They'd have moved by now, and I wouldn't know where to find them."

"Dammit Anko!"

The kunoichi turned to look at the mirror, talking to the watchers she knew were there. "I saw your precious Sasuke, you know. He's become quite the little Sound shinobi, though I personally can't stand his arrogant attitude. But he'll never come back, if you were wondering. Orochimaru and his own desire for vengeance have killed any compassion he may have felt."

"I see Orochimaru has worked his will on you as well," Tsunade growled, disgusted. "I can't believe you let him make you into _this_."

Anko jerked furiously at her restraints. "How much of what I am is his fault, and how much of it is Konoha's?" she spat, her eyes flashing with all the anger inside. "I have _never_ been trusted here, because I was _his_ genin! I was never accepted into the ANBU, and I was never made a full jonin! And that fucking _council_ ..." she spat the word, like it was poison, "Did you _see_ how they looked at me? Like I was a disease they had to dispose of! Even _Orochimaru _never treated me like that!"

"No," the Sannin replied softly into the tense silence following Anko's outburst, "He used you for his experiments, he twisted your mind, he took your memories, he made you kill for him, and he betrayed your trust. Maybe you have been treated unfairly here, but we have never done to you what he has." She sighed wearily, rubbing her temples as she looked at the woman who in her eyes was still a child. "I believe that he manipulated you all along, Anko. He's so good at that. And I think that this jutsu and your desire for revenge impaired your judgement as well. I told you before that I'd had enough problems with shinobi out for revenge."

Tsunade stood up. "I am going to do what I can for you, because in a way I understand ... but also because there are a number of people who still care about you. I hope you remember that."

The Sannin exited smoothly, leaving Anko staring at the mirror. She wondered whether Kakashi was looking back at her, whether he was meeting her eyes or turning away in disgust. She hadn't told them much about the forbidden jutsu, but was sure that they would want to know everything.

Anko looked at her clear reflection, noting her pale skin and the rings under her lighter, slit-pupil eyes. With her dark hair, she looked more like Orochimaru than she could believe. The snake slid out from behind her reflection, and coiled its way around her waist and up her body. It met her eyes through the mirror. She didn't remember noticing before how striking its gold eyes were, or how beautiful the pattern on its scaled body was. It brushed one of its coils across her cheek and she breathed out softly, relaxing a little.

"Why are we here?" it asked her, winding its body over hers and resting its head on her shoulder. As usual, the snake had an emotionless 'voice' with a slight hiss.

"I can't talk to you now." she whispered quietly.

"We should go back. You were getting stronger training with that male." The snake ignored her comment.

"I'm a little busy now," she growled, frowning irritably. She didn't want it to bring up Orochimaru again. Their last conversation about him had been bad enough.

"Are you going to let them kill us?"

Anko jerked back at the bluntness of the question.

"Even if I die you won't." she replied. The scroll had stated that the snake spirit would be freed on her death, more powerful than it had been originally. "And they won't kill me."

The serpent tilted its head to one side in puzzlement. "I will not die," it agreed, "But I have not yet lost interest in this experiment. I do not find that result ... desirable. And you are wrong. There are many nearby who want your death."

Anko's jaw clenched. "I am not going to die. Not now."

"Why do you stay here? Is it that other male?"

She ignored the question. "Why did my body fail me?" she asked it forcefully, "Why didn't you warn me about using too much chakra?"

If the snake could have, it would have shrugged. "It did not occur to me that your body would not be strong enough to take all my power. In future I will warn you when you are reaching your limit."

The kunoichi tensed angrily. "I can't _afford_ to have a limit!"

"Then you must go back and ask that Orochimaru. He will know."

Anko shook her head hesitantly, feeling like she was in a never-ending cycle of nightmares that began and ended with Orochimaru. "But I don't want to go back there ... I don't have to. Not now that I have a chance ..."

"They won't take you back here." the snake replied. "I can taste their distrust."

"No!" she denied fervently, shaking a little, "You'll see. They will trust me. You're wrong. They'll take me back." She tried not to notice how hard she was trying to convince herself. Anko wished she could free her arms, and hug her knees to her body like she'd done as a child. She felt sick, hot and cold, so confused and on edge.

The snake disappeared in silence, leaving her to her shaking.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kakashi stared at Anko through the glass, and felt weak. Ever since she'd left, he'd felt weak. She'd taken his strength with her, and even though she was back, even though he'd brought her back, his strength hadn't returned. He wondered whether she was the same. Anko had said that he made her weak. _Maybe this is what she meant._

Kurenai and Shizune were standing beside him, but he couldn't find the will to talk to either of them. They were watching the room on the other side of the mirror and speaking quietly to each other.

He ignored the other conversations going on while the Hokage talked to Anko. Most of them were against the kunoichi. The ANBU were silent, but their hostility towards her wasn't unnoticeable. The two representatives of the Konoha Council were especially negative. They said she was unstable. They said she couldn't be trusted. Watching her now, staring at the glass almost right at him, he couldn't completely disagree. There was something in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. Some whisper of madness, and darkness. But he waited for the Godaime, hoping that she would somehow give him hope. _"You can't save me, Kakashi." Gods. Please don't let her be right._

When Tsunade entered the room where all the observers were standing, he was almost reluctant to look at her expression. As he'd thought, it was grim. Her entrance stopped all other conversations, and turned everyone's attention to her.

The Godaime sighed inwardly at all the attentive faces. She glanced for a moment at Kakashi, but he was staying carefully expressionless. "Well, it looks like we have a bit of a problem." she said at last.

"What problem?" one of the two council members present interrupted. Her face showed her disgust at the situation. "Mitarashi Anko has broken more than enough of our laws. There is only one way she should be punished."

"But we should find out all that she knows about Orochimaru's whereabouts and activities first." the other council member agreed.

"With respect," Kurenai interjected, "I feel that her situation and circumstances need to be taken into account. Anko has been manipulated and hurt by Orochimaru. He is the reason why she's done this, not because she means any harm to Konoha!"

"You don't know what she's told him already." Ibiki warned them. "What she _meant _may be very different to what she has actually done. I think it is imperative that she be thoroughly interrogated."

"_Tortured_, you mean?" Kurenai snapped at him.

The shinobi stared back, expressionless. "If that is what it takes."

Tsunade stopped the arguments with an upraised hand. "As I said," she started again, glaring at them both warningly, "We have a bit of a problem. Anko has clearly used a very dangerous jutsu that has made her unstable." They all turned to see the kunoichi staring back at them, muttering quietly to herself. It was disturbing, especially the different expressions that crossed her face. One moment she would look despairing or angry, and the next her face would be blank while she spoke too softly to hear.

"Along with the damage her body sustained from a chakra overload, it looks like she's suffering from some type of multiple-personality disorder, possibly brought on by the forbidden jutsu." the Hokage commented. "Until we have had her fully examined, we won't know its extent. I agree that we need more information from her, and I am going to ask Ibiki to be the one to question her."

Kurenai opened her mouth to object, but Tsunade cut her off. "You are too personally involved, Kurenai. Ibiki is the best at interrogation, and there will be no 'torture' unless I think it is necessary." She turned to look at the two council members. "And there will be no execution either until we know whether this situation merits it." she told them firmly.

The woman stared at her disapprovingly. "I think you will find that there will be an agreement that it does." she replied, before they both left.

Tsunade couldn't help her feelings of misgiving as she watched them leave. _They will try to force my hand,_ she thought to herself. _They have all wanted to see Anko dead for a long time ... but if the Sandaime could stop them, then so will I._

She looked back towards Anko, and saw her shaking slightly in her chair. Despite what she'd said, she didn't know if they would be able to help her. Tsunade had never seen anyone who had had their mind twisted as much as the young kunoichi sitting in the other room. She was also worried about what had happened since Anko had been with Orochimaru. The Sannin got the feeling that more was going on than she knew about, and she would have to correct that situation soon.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The door swung open again, but Anko didn't raise her head. She felt so tired; too tired to care about who was talking to her next. Ibiki, Kakashi, Shizune ... it didn't matter. She had voices in her head, she was seeing things in mirrors, and was sure she was going mad. But Anko was going to tell them what they wanted to know, and believe that they would help her and accept her back. They had to.

The person who had entered was standing uncertainly at the doorway. Anko could tell that it was a young woman from the sound of her breathing. She didn't say anything as the door swung shut behind her. Anko waited, and waited, but it seemed that she would have to start the conversation.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said at last, impatient but still not glancing up. "You may as well spit it out."

The girl pulled herself together, and spoke in a rush. "You mentioned Sasuke-kun," she said, and then added hesitantly: "How is he?"

Anko looked up, and saw a pink-haired girl staring at her with wide, tearful cyan eyes. She knew who she was. Naruto and Sasuke's teammate and the Hokage's apprentice. The girl who obviously still loved the Uchiha. "Sakura." The kunoichi sighed. _I don't want to deal with this now. Not another heartbroken child. Not another one that Orochimaru has taken hope from._

"You said he's changed, but I don't believe you." the girl stated determinedly. She clenched her fists. "Tell me how he is, what he's like ... whether he's okay. Please."

"What I said was true, Sakura." Anko said at last. "Sasuke has changed. The only thing that hasn't is his pretty face."

The kunoichi looked furious. "Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that! You don't know him."

"I know him well enough. Sasuke doesn't care about anything other than his revenge."

"He still cares about _us_! He doesn't know that Orochimaru wants to use him as his vessel! If we tell him-" Sakura began vehemently.

"No." Anko interrupted, angry at the girl's determined denial. "He does know what Orochimaru wants as payment, and he doesn't care. He doesn't care, Sakura, not about anything. He's lost to you, and nothing you can do will change that." She tried to calm down, and met the young kunoichi's eyes to try to convey that she was telling the truth. "He's not worth your love."

Sakura stared at her blankly for a moment, and Anko could see the emotions running through her eyes. Despair, denial, anger, determination. The girl pulled herself up, and hardened her expression. "You're wrong." she replied, and span around to leave.

"I'm sorry." Anko said softly, as she got to the door.

Sakura looked back for a moment. "So am I."

The door was closed again, but it wouldn't be for long. Anko tried to push the girl's face out of her mind, but it was hard to dismiss such anguish. She wondered who else would come to tear at her emotions.

To be truthful, she wasn't surprised when Kakashi walked in next. She imagined that there was a queue of people outside, waiting with their questions. They all wanted something from her. Orochimaru, Sakura, the Hokage, her parents ... even Sasuke. And then there was Kakashi, who was staring at her with hundreds of questions in his eyes, and so much _want_ and _need_ that she didn't want to look at him. Nothing should have ever happened between them, she couldn't give him what he needed, but now there were too many years of memories and shared moments.

"I don't have anything to say to you." Anko said at last, tired of the heavy silence. The silence that said more than words could.

Kakashi looked at her, face expressionless. She could see the shadows of his mask shift as his lips moved. "Is that all?" he asked, voice tight with suppressed anger. "After all this, you have nothing to say?" The shinobi leaned forward and rested his hands on the back of the chair opposite her. "What happened to you, Anko?"

She knew he was asking about what happened when she was with Orochimaru. "Nothing. Nothing happened."

"What happened, Anko?" His voice was quietly passionate, entreating. It conjured memories of warm nights with his arms holding her safe.

"Don't make me lie to you." she replied quietly. She remembered the Sannin touching her, asking her what Kakashi would think if he knew. _He would go mad. I can't hurt him like that. I can't let him know._ He opened his mouth to reply, but she interrupted. "I have nothing to give you, Kakashi. I don't have a life to give you." Her eyes met his, and she tried to carry across her need. "I have to get out of here. I have to do what I live only to do. That's the only way you can help me."

"Is it still about revenge, Anko?" he asked bitterly, "Or is it something else?"

He was angry, and hurt, and he was reacting by lashing out at her. Anko closed her eyes and shut him out. She tried to picture something happy, some good moment in her life ... but there were only desperate and despairing memories left.

Gentle fingers brushed the side of her face, and she opened her eyes to see Kakashi kneeling at the side of her chair and looking at her with both eyes. The Sharingan eye was still, but his hands were not. They ran along her cheek, her brow, her lips. She sat in her chair, and could do nothing but watch his face.

"I care about you." he murmured quietly.

"I know."

"I fell in love with you."

Anko stared at him in shock, and then turned her head away to stare at the mirror, wondering who was witnessing this moment.

"No one is there," he reassured her softly.

His fingers reached her throat, and brushed the smooth skin. He stopped suddenly, running his fingertips over two twin scars on the curve of her neck. Kakashi stared at the scars just below her curse seal. "What ... what did he do to you?" he asked at last, standing up and forcing the words out. Putting distance between them almost automatically. "Did he hurt you?" _Did you like it?_

Anko refused to look at him, in case he saw the answers in her eyes. "I'm tired." she said. "Please tell them that I want to rest. I'll answer more questions tomorrow."

Kakashi stood still, indecisive. "Fine." he replied shortly. He turned abruptly and left, expressionless once more.

Anko waited, alone, for the ANBU to come and take her back to her cell.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.


	18. Ch18: Everything

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: This story feels like it's winding down, but I hope some of you are still enjoying it. I've been watching the Blood+ anime again, so have been a bit distracted. I think its just been too long since I watched Naruto anime or read lots of the brilliant fanfiction! There are a few flashbacks to past chapters to try keep the flow going.

Thanks to BloodRedShadows, LostsoulofRegret, Malta, Kimi492 (sorry! i saw your plot bunny too late! Hope you like this anyway ;), and everyone else who's been reading. Enjoy!

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 18

**Everything**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"I've told you already," Anko repeated, "I don't know." Anger rose up like a wave, making her chest feel tight and her vision restricted, but she pushed it back down. Ibiki watched her closely.

"I find that hard to believe." he replied.

"Are you an idiot?!" she growled, "Of _course_ Orochimaru didn't give me any way to find his hideouts! Why on this fucking earth would he trust _me_?"

"He trusted you enough to let you leave, didn't he?" the interrogation expert asked shrewdly.

Anko paused for a moment. _He did let me leave. No one came after me. What does that mean? That he thought I'd go back? That he knew I had nowhere else to go? Or that he just didn't expect it?_ "I don't understand the way his mind works," Anko answered, "and I hope I never do." The kunoichi calmed herself down, ignoring the ache in her arms from being stretched behind her and massive headache that was developing. They'd loosened her restraints a bit, but not enough.

"Do you really have no memory of killing two Konoha ANBU?" Ibiki changed tack quickly, trying to catch her off guard.

"Not really." He'd asked her this so many times. "It felt like I was having a nightmare."

"A nightmare where you killed two people?"

"No!" Anko shook her head vigorously, "I told you already, dammit! It was a nightmare about when I killed that spy." She knew she was letting him get to her, but Ibiki'd been needling her for hours and she was at the end of her limited patience.

"And you have been sharing your body with a snake spirit that only wants the power it will gain when your contract ends, and nothing else, while giving you unlimited access to its chakra. Is that right?"

"Yes." Her headache was getting worse.

"Does Orochimaru know about the jutsu?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Yes. It was among his scrolls, after all." _They don't need to know he's affected by it too. It doesn't mean anything important._

Ibiki leaned forward, looming over her. "What does Orochimaru want from you?"

"I told you. He wants me to complete some missions for him and to kill as many members of Akatsuki as possible." Anko replied wearily.

"Because he left their organisation. But I find that difficult to understand, Anko. Why would Orochimaru want _you_ to kill Akatsuki when he is, and always will be, so much stronger than you are and would probably be able to do it without dying?" The torture expert watched her closely, waiting to see her reaction to his insinuation that she was not strong enough, and never would be.

Anko's face went pale with anger, and her hands shook as they pulled at the restraints, but she did not reply. "He insults us!" the reflection of the snake in the corner of her eye hissed angrily. "Show him if he does not believe." The kunoichi shut its voice out. _Be quiet. I don't need you._

"Why would Orochimaru take you back when he'd tossed you aside before?" Ibiki pushed harder, "When he knew that you were not talented enough to be of real use to him?"

"Get out." her voice was softly venomous. She pulled harder at the restraints, and they cut into her wrists and spilled crimson drops on the floor.

He leaned closer, cracking her fragile sanity with his words. "What did you offer him, Anko? What did you give him in return for helping you out of your own mess and saving you from Konoha's justice?"

"Get the _fuck_ out, Ibiki!" she shouted, eyes flashing murderously.

"Fuck?" Ibiki gave a tight smile as he pounced on the word and thought of a new way to push the kunoichi harder. He wanted to test whether she was in control like she said she was, and the only way to do that was to make her very angry. "Is _that_ -"

Anko's face went suddenly blank, and Ibiki paused. "You will not insult us." she said, her voice strangely emotionless and toneless except for a slight slurring of the 's'. Her shoulders were straining as she pulled at the chains.

"'Us'?" Ibiki repeated, surprised. But he didn't get a chance to question her further, because there was a groaning snap of metal and her restraints were flung aside with a sweep of her arms.

The shinobi took an involuntary step back, as Anko stood up and stared at him with dead eyes. "Mitarashi Anko, I am going to ask you to step back." He could see the flicker of emotion across her face when he said her name, and as she stepped forwards toward him he persisted. "Anko! Anko, step back!"

The kunoichi blinked, coming back to herself. She looked down at her free hands and watched the blood tears drip from her cut wrists to the floor. Anko looked up at Ibiki, and closed her eyes as she realised what she'd done - that she'd lost control. She slumped back in her seat even as the door slammed open and three ANBU charged in.

"It's alright," Ibiki stopped them from restraining Anko, and was staring at the kunoichi with uncharacteristic sympathy. "Call in a medic to see to her before she'd chained again."

Ibiki left with the three reluctant ANBU who obviously thought that it wasn't a good idea to leave her alone and unchained. But Anko wasn't planning on going anywhere. She stared at her hands, resting them in her lap. Her cuts weren't serious, but they ached. Everything ached. She could hear a slithering voice in her head telling her to leave while she was free, but she wasn't listening. _How can I feel so heavy and so empty at the same time? Why does everything get taken from me?_ She wished she was a child again, and everything was uncomplicated. Even when she had been Orochimaru's genin life had been better. There were days when he tested her and hurt her, but there were others where they had trained together, or just studied in silence. There were days when she hadn't felt alone.

Kakashi had given her some of that as well, but she couldn't give him all he wanted. She could only hurt him. _He loves me? What sad irony. Maybe if things had been different ... maybe I would have loved him as well._

The door swung open silently. The same medic from before walked in and up to her. He took her hands and healed them without speaking, and then slipped them behind her back and secured them with chakra chains that couldn't be undone by the wearer. He healed the aches in her cramped arms as well, and Anko sighed in relief.

"Do you think you could do something about my headache?" she asked softly, closing her eyes.

He knelt in front of her, and held his palms on her temples. Cool energy flowed through her, and washed away the pain. Then his hands slid from her forehead down her cheeks, and a thumb brushed over her lips.

Anko opened her eyes and stared at the medic in shock. It looked like the man who'd treated her before, but his expression was very different. His lips curled in a slight smirk, and he pulled his hands back from her face and ran them suggestively along her thighs from knees to hips.

"Orochimaru?" Anko whispered quietly, disbelieving. _He came for me?_

The medic's smile widened in amusement, and a hand went up to the bridge of his nose. _Adjusting glasses that weren't there_. "_Kabuto_?"

The jutsu shimmered away, and Anko saw the spy's normal features smirking at her. "Yes." He rested one hand on her knee and ran the other along the curve of her jaw. The medic leaned forward to kiss her, but Anko turned her head abruptly to the side.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" she exclaimed angrily.

Kabuto seemed unworried about her rejection. "Orochimaru-sama sent me to ask how you are enjoying the hospitality of your old village," he replied. He glanced around the interrogation room. "It looks like they gave you a wonderful welcome back." Kabuto sneered mockingly.

Anko glared down at the hand that was still on her knee. "And I suppose he asked you to molest me while you were at it?" the kunoichi growled.

The spy's lips curled in a smile that Anko didn't trust. "No. He told me to remind you what you've left behind."

Before Anko could finish blinking, she was looking at Orochimaru. She knew it was a jutsu, that it was really Kabuto, but just seeing him so close, even a copy of him, gave her chills. His gold eyes and smug smirk were so familiar, so real, that she could believe that it _was_ him.

The fake Orochimaru leaned forward, and Anko didn't resist when he kissed her. His hands slid over her throat and down her arms and across her stomach. She started feeling the burning ache that he brought on in her and sighed when his hands ran along the outside of her thighs. But then he came closer, and pressed her knees apart so he could trail his fingers along the inside.

_This is not Orochimaru!_ her mind shouted, and Anko pulled back hard, twisting her body to shut him out. "Stay away from me, you asshole!" she snapped, still shaky. She glared at the fake Orochimaru, and snarled out her threats. "I swear I will rip you apart when I get out of here, Kabuto! And your 'head' will be the first to go!"

The henge faded to reveal Kabuto again. He shrugged, unconcerned by her threats. "I was just passing on a message, Anko-san. Don't shoot the messenger." He chuckled at his clichéd joke.

"I'll do more than shoot you ..." she warned acidly. "And you can tell Orochimaru that he can deliver his goddamned messages himself!"

Kabuto got up, and smiled down at her. "I'll pass that on." He turned towards the door, and started to walk away.

Anko glared after him. "How can you be so sure that I won't tell them that you're here?" she asked.

Kabuto smiled mockingly. "I will be long gone by then, but why do you assume that they would believe someone that they are putting to death?"

The kunoichi froze. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, after the stunt you just pulled could you expect anything else? You almost attacked one of their members, _after_ killing two ANBU. You've proved that you can't be trusted. Don't you think the council were waiting for you to do something like this? Now you've given them more than enough reasons to execute you." He smiled cruelly. "And if you mention me, how much worse do you think it would be? Do you think they will believe that I came here to send you Orochimaru-sama's regards, or that I was trying to help you escape?" Kabuto laughed again. "By all means, tell Kakashi Orochimaru's message! I'm sure he will be very amused ... But then, he doesn't strike me as the most forgiving man."

"I don't believe you."

Kabuto shrugged, and continued to the door. "Believe whatever you want, Anko. It makes no difference to me." He replaced his medic disguise, and gave her a small mocking wave goodbye.

Anko stared at the door as it closed, still in shock. Too many doors were closing in her life, and not enough were opening. _Kill me? They won't ... will they? I didn't attack Ibiki._ But a small voice replied: _You were going to. You weren't in control._ She shook her head in denial. _But I can't die ... not now. I can't die for nothing!_

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Tsunade sighed, resting her head in her hands. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Ibiki replied. "I'm afraid so."

"Dammit!" she slammed her fist against her desk in frustration, and the abused wood creaked alarmingly. The Sannin rubbed her temples wearily, feeling defeated. She knew that a representative from the council would be walking through the door any moment, asking for a date for Anko's execution after this new example of her instability.

"Hokage-sama," Ibiki interrupted her thoughts, "It is my opinion that she needs help, not an execution."

"What do you mean, Ibiki?" Tsunade asked bitterly. "You know that the council will see this act of aggression as the last nail in her coffin."

"Yes." Ibiki acknowledged, "But they are wrong. It was not really _Anko_ who almost attacked me."

"I know, but it won't matter to them. They don't trust her, and frankly I don't either."

Ibiki watched the Hokage carefully. "Yes. She couldn't be called mentally stable, could she?"

"No. What are you-" the Hokage paused thoughtfully. "Of course. If she's not completely sane, or at least aware of all her actions at all times, it would not be within the law to have her executed."

"She would have to have a psychological exam to prove that."

Tsunade rested her hands on the desk, relieved. "It'll buy us time, and at the moment that's all we need. We'll have to use it to find a way to cancel that jutsu."

"I could send to Suna for an impartial witness to the exam." Ibiki offered.

The Sannin nodded. "Anything for more time. I'll go and see her tomorrow and let her know. I'm going to study her links to this jutsu myself." She smiled a little at the sober shinobi. "Good work, Ibiki. I wasn't looking forward to telling her friends that Konoha was going to have her killed."

The scarred torture expert shrugged. "It's not over yet, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade's expression turned grim. "There is still Orochimaru to deal with. Now, tell me what you think he did to her."

Ibiki frowned. "I only have her reactions to go on, but you are not going to like it. I don't think the council should know as yet either."

Tsunade met his eyes, and nodded. "Tell me."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko was dreaming. She was curled up on her side on a hard narrow prison bed, her hands still chained behind her back, and she was dreaming. The kunoichi's dark hair was splayed across her face, highlighting the pale curve of her cheek and lips. Her eyes flickered beneath her closed lids, seeing things her mind conjured from the darkness. He wondered whether she was dreaming of him.

His lips curved in a smirk.

He was sure she was.

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko was standing on a steep ledge. She was in the light, but on the edge of darkness. The kunoichi's head swivelled from side to side, trying desperately to find some way off the ledge. But there were only two ways ... forwards, or back. The chasm in front was just as dark as that behind, and neither seemed to hold more hope than the other._

"_Where am I supposed to go?" she called desperately and, being herself, bordering on furiously. She didn't react well to frustration. If there was something to fight, she would fight it. But ... she couldn't fight a choice that made no sense._

"Where do you want to go_?" The voice echoed in the void, coming from everywhere and nowhere._

_Memories flashed past her eyes. Memories of people. Kurenai was there, looking at her with horror-stricken eyes, and Naruto with disbelief. Kakashi was there, with an eternity of pain radiating from him that made her ache and desperately want to cry. _

_Orochimaru was there. He watched her, hungry with lust. But under the want lay contemplation of her uses. He was weighing her up, and wondering whether she was worth his effort, his time. Wondering whether she was worth anything. He was offering her shelter from the people who had been her friends, but his shelter was never free._

_She was never going to be free from them all, whichever way she fell._

...o..o.o..o...

When Anko opened her eyes, she knew he was there. He hadn't been there long, and she hadn't been sleeping long either.

"How did you get in here?" she asked quietly, feeling almost empty of any emotion.

"Do you really have to ask that?" His arrogance was pronounced, but then it had been a stupid question. She knew better than to think that there was any place safe from Orochimaru.

"Why are you here?" She was so tired ... so tired of everything. Her arms still ached, and she hadn't slept enough for days. She hadn't wanted to sleep. Nightmares were hard to avoid, otherwise.

"You said that if I had any messages, then I must bring them myself."

She could hear the smile in his voice, and lifted herself so that she was sitting up on the bed. Anko turned around, and looked at the Sannin, her old sensei, who had broken into Konoha where every shinobi was honour-bound to attempt to kill him. He didn't seem very worried.

"I'm not stupid, Orochimaru. You aren't here for a simple _message_." Anko spoke forcefully. She glared at the complacent shinobi with bloodshot eyes. "I'm tired of your games!"

The room seemed to darken with the Sannin's disapproval. "It has never been a game, Anko. _Never_. These Konoha nin who you prize so much are arguing about your life – about whether you _deserve_ to live. Is that a game to you?"

The kunoichi shook her head, denying his words. "They won't kill me." But it seemed weak even to her.

Orochimaru saw right through her self-deception. "They believe that you are too much of a good student – that you learnt the lessons I taught you too well. They have always believed that, and you know it. And now they will put you to death." He paused, emphasising the words. "They will kill you, Anko, and your purpose will end. _You_ will end."

Anko stared down at the creases in the sheet covering the bed mattress. The white cloth was partly in light, partly in shadow. Like her soul.

The Sannin moved closer, sitting beside her on the bed. He smoothed her hair with his hand, lingering on her cheek. "Do you want to die?" he asked softly.

"No." she whispered. "No!" Anko shook, feeling like she would break inside. "I can't die, not now! ... I don't want to die."

"I can help you." He offered the words like a gift. His lips brushed her ear as he breathed the next. "I can _save_ you."

His hands on her shoulders pushed her back, and she couldn't use her tied-up arms to stop him. He was leaning over her, slipping his fingers beneath her clothes. Orochimaru raised her shirt, and tasted her skin with his lips.

Anko stared up at the stone ceiling, and tried to shut him out but it was no use. Despite where they were, despite the fact that anyone may come at any time and Kakashi was moments away, she couldn't help react to him. He was soothing her into calm complacency, into a place where she would give him anything just so that he would not stop.

"But ... nothing you give is free." she murmured, sighing as his mouth moved to her throat.

She could feel him smile against her skin. "Of course not. You know that."

The Sannin's teeth scraped her shoulder, pulling a gasp from her lips. "What do you want?" she managed to ask, feeling like she was falling. She was falling back into the void that he created, where there was nothing but the two of them. Where everything else faded away.

"What do I want?" he repeated, amused. "I want all you know of Konoha. I want this place to _fall_. I want you to do what I will. I want to kill all those who defy me. I want _you_."

He pulled back enough so that she could see his dark, hungry expression that was full of madness. "Don't you realise, Anko?" he asked.

"I want _everything_."

_Will I ever escape from him? Will I ever be free from those eyes?_

Anko stared at him, like a mouse being hypnotised by the snake about to devour it. She was being pulled into the dark void in his eyes, and the darkness was infecting her. Her snake spirit was agreeing loudly with his offer, and its words and his reverberated through her mind. She was losing who she was, and losing it so fast that she almost didn't even realise it. Something in her mind was slipping, teetering on an edge with the balance being ripped away. His hands were hot on her skin, and his golden eyes burned a path through her broken soul. He was offering her guidance, offering her a way away from this place where her friends looked at her with pain-filled eyes, where her only memories brought her anguish. He was offering her a way out.

_She was a child, all alone, and he was the only one she had._

_She was a woman, who'd betrayed everything else, everyone else, and he was the only one she had._

How could she not take it?

_Kurenai ... Hokage-sama ... Kakashi ... _If she gave him what he wanted, they might all ...

...o..o.o..o...

"_Long time no see, Anko." He lingered on her name, as if he knew hearing him say it pained her._

"_You're now a most wanted level S dangerous criminal." she replied, almost conversationally. "I must stop you even if it costs me my life ..." She armed herself with senbon between each finger of her one hand. _

"_I learnt everything from you," her voice changed, filling with anger, "I was one of your soldiers and thus, that is my duty, right?" she shouted, "_Orochimaru_?" Hatred dripped from every syllable of his name, and she felt like just speaking it poisoned her lips._

_He turned away, only to be stopped by a small hand around his ankle. The Sannin looked down at the young, hurt, pleading face with no expression on his own. No regret._

"_Why are you doing this..." both young and old Anko asked, pain lacing her words, "even though I have always respected you?!"_

_Orochimaru turned and knelt down before his student with his lips curled in a cruel smirk. He lifted Anko's chin, caressing her skin with his fingers, with his own face a mere breath away. He spoke while looking her directly in the eyes, allowing her to see fully the evil that lay in his. _

"_You are lacking ... the will to seek power." his eyes widened as his insane passion gripped him, "Vengence. Hate. And everything else." Her mouth trembled, and he licked his lips at the force of her fear. "But that's right. Just letting you live may be of some use to me." He studied her face, his features twisting as he seemed to consider what use she could be. _

"_Hey."_

"_Come with me."_

"_You corrupted me!" she shouted, "You made me into this!" Images flashed through her mind, of how much she had respected him, trusted him, _loved_ him, "You took away my normal life and twisted it, poisoned it and poisoned me!" Red flashed past her vision – she always saw red in the corners of her eyes. Dripping, crimson tears. "You made me into a thing so that all that mattered was blood!"_

_She was falling into the void in his eyes. He was pulling her in, and she couldn't hold back any more. She couldn't deny the lust she felt for him, or her desperate desire to _feel_. The alcohol took away her ability to rationalise why it was wrong, even in the face of his story that he'd used her all along and intended to continue to use her when she left him. Maybe if she hadn't been drunk she would have been able to resist. Maybe she wouldn't have resisted anyway._

...o..o.o..o...

She had experienced so many moments of Orochimaru showing what he was really like, but now they were buried under a confusion of lust and dependency ... and a twisted form of love. They had so much past together.

"What have you done to me?" As if he would ever truly answer, or admit to anything.

Orochimaru ignored the question, not that she hadn't expected that. His answer and offer was in his eyes. _Hey. Come with me. Fall into the hell only I can offer._

He held out his hand.

She took it.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: You can't tell me you weren't expecting that ;) Thanks to all who reviewed!


	19. Ch19: Blinded

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: Sorry this story is a bit late. I think it'll take me a while longer for the next chapter, since it is very pivotal for the storyline, and I have a report due on Monday – damn university work getting in the way of my writing! ;) Hope you enjoy reading and have a wonderful day!

Thanks to BloodRedShadows, Chryseis Wyvernsen, LostsoulofRegret, Kimi492 and Bibliofile66– you guys make my day :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 19

**Blinded**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"And there can be no mistake?" _Anko and Orochimaru ... I can't believe it._

"No, Hokage-sama." The interrogation expert paused, feeling concerned himself at what the knowledge might mean.

"As if her leaving with him the first time wasn't enough." Tsunade sighed. "Keep this information private for the time being. Above all, Kakashi is not to know." _Everything is becoming more of a nightmare._ she thought wearily. _It can't get much worse-_

"_Hokage-sama_!" Shizune burst through the door, with a panicked chunin following on her heels. The Godaime didn't have time to speak a word before her aide continued. "Mitarashi Anko has escaped!"

Tsunade was on her feet in an instant. "_What?!_"

"We think she had help, Hokage-sama," the chunin added anxiously, "And it might have been ...!"

"Orochimaru? _Here_?!" The Sannin was apoplectic. A group of four ANBU materialised at that moment, and stood to attention with their reports.

"Hokage-sama! Orochimaru has been seen in Konoha!"

"Send out the squads!" she shouted her orders, "Double the usual number! Alert the town! They must not escape!"

"Hai!" Two ANBU left, but two stayed behind with the ones who normally guarded her office. They were on emergency alert, and they couldn't afford to lose another Hokage if the criminal Sannin decided to take her on.

Tsunade stood still, clenching her fists furiously. _How could you, Anko? How could you leave with him again?_ "How dare he come here again," she growled softly, mostly to herself. It was still hard for her to believe that the young boy who had been her brilliant teammate, with whom she had been through so much, had become this psychopath bent on destruction and the furthering of his wretched twisted jutsus to extend his life.

"I think he got what he came for." Ibiki commented quietly.

"Anko ... but why?" Shizune asked.

"There is something we are missing about all this," the Godaime agreed. "Something to do with her ..."

It was a few minutes before the report came back that Orochimaru and Anko had left Konoha, and had escaped the patrols in the forests around the hidden village. Tsunade watched the messenger leave, before turning around to slam her fist on to her desk so hard that it cracked for a final time and broke completely. Shizune stared at the desk, a bit dismayed that she had to find another one so soon, but the aide leapt up to answer a knock at the door. She whispered quietly to the visitor, and took a handful of papers.

"Hokage-sama," she interrupted the Sannin quietly. The Godaime was staring at the village from her window, wondering how she was going to explain to the council that she had been right not to sentence Anko to immediate death, how she was going to explain that it wasn't really the girl's fault. How she was going to explain how Orochimaru got through all their guards and into one of their highly-guarded prison facilities in the basement of the _Hokage's Tower_. _How the hell did he manage it? Yet, am I really surprised? It is Orochimaru ..._

"What, Shizune?" she said shortly. "If it's another report, I don't feel like looking at it right now." She pulled a bottle of sake and a cup from about her person and, ignoring Shizune's disapproving stare, downed a quick succession of glasses.

"I think you might want this one, Hokage-sama," she replied, "It's Anko's preliminary medical report."

The Sannin snatched the report up, and paged through it quickly. There hadn't been enough time to examine Anko thoroughly, but while she'd been asleep when she'd first arrived they had done as much as they could. The report held the results of all the tests they'd performed ...

"Oh god." Tsunade fell back in her chair, staring at the report in horror. "Oh god."

"Hokage-sama?" Shizune prompted anxiously.

The Godaime rubbed her eyes, and stared at both Shizune and Ibiki with serious concern.

"We have a huge problem."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"We have a huge problem."

Genma, Gai and Asuma stared at Kurenai with concern. Even Gai dropped his eternally happy smile when he heard the news. "Truly?" Genma asked, "There is no doubt that she went by her own will?"

Kurenai shrugged unhappily. "That's what the patrols said. She was following him freely. And there was no sign of a struggle in her cell."

Asuma sighed, and lifted a cigarette to his lips. "I find it hard to believe."

"She hated him so much." the kunoichi agreed.

"She must have lost sight of her dreams," Gai added, and he spoke with real meaning. "He must have blinded her, manipulated her. Anko-san would never have abandoned her eternal love for Konoha otherwise!! Her spirit was unbroken!"

"I think you might be wrong there," Genma commented. "I think she was hurt more than we ever realised, because she hid it so well."

"But do you think they would have sentenced her to death?" Kurenai asked. She wanted to hear their opinion, to see if it coincided with her own.

Asuma blew a ring of smoke, pausing thoughtfully. "Maybe. I don't think Hokage-sama would have agreed, but there is no doubt that the council wants her dead."

"Now more than ever." Genma agreed wryly.

"I wonder how Kakashi ..." Kurenai began, but found she couldn't finish the sentence. She'd seen up close how much the whole incident was affecting him.

They all paused, looking down. Kurenai reached out and took Asuma's hand, and he held hers comfortingly. They were standing in a loose ring, in silence, each unable to put into words their worry for their friends.

The one who had left, and the one left behind.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kakashi was on the Hokage monument once again, above the carved face of his sensei, the Yondaime. Night had fallen, but he couldn't go back to his apartment. When he walked in there, he imagined that he could still smell her scent, that he would turn the corner to his bedroom and she would be lying there, waiting for him. Even after all this time, even after he had spoken to her when he'd found her again and then in the interrogation room ... even after everything she'd said.

"_You can't save me, Kakashi." _

"_I have no life to give you."_

And then:

_His fingers reached her throat, and brushed the smooth skin. He stopped suddenly, running his fingertips over two twin scars on the curve of her neck. Kakashi stared at the scars just below her curse seal. "What ... what did he do to you?" he asked at last, standing up and forcing the words out. Putting distance between them almost automatically. "Did he hurt you?" _Did you like it?

She'd shut him out after that. Like she'd been afraid that he would see the truth.

The thought made him feel like his rage had coalesced into a burning furnace inside his chest. His vision blurred with the wave of fury it brought, instant and out of control. The shinobi's fists clenched so hard that his hands ached, but he welcomed the pain. Any distractions from his imagined thoughts were welcome.

He was angry at Anko, but his anger was directed mostly towards the man he blamed for hurting her, for leading her away from him, for making her betray everything she held dear. The man who had stolen her childhood, and her future.

_Orochimaru ..._

He had never wanted to kill anyone as badly as he did that man. Not even Obito's killer had been the focus of so much rage and hatred. Back then, he had felt a child's fury, but now ... Now he had many years of bitter memories to fuel his emotions. He was a man who had seen and dispensed death, and he was good at it. He had seen so much horror in his life, and all it did was add to the intensity of his desire for revenge-

_Revenge._ That was the emotion that had started the mess that Anko and Sasuke were now in. _That is what took her away from me ..._

Kakashi dropped his head, and held it in his hands. The fury was washed away by despair. _It will never end. Itachi betrayed Sasuke, making him seek revenge at the cost of himself. Orochimaru betrayed Anko, making her seek revenge at the cost of her soul, and those she cares for. What will be next? Will I betray everything to get revenge on Orochimaru?_ A cold breeze washed across him, blowing ice through his soul.

_It will never end. We will all be blinded by revenge, unless the cycle is stopped. We will never have peace. Even Orochimaru, in his own twisted way, is seeking revenge for the Sandaime passing him over for Hokage. _

Yet Kakashi thought of Sasuke, lead astray by the snake Sannin. Perhaps the boy would have lost himself anyway, but Orochimaru had started it. And Anko, as well, had been put through so much pain because of him. He had killed the Sandaime, he still intended to attack Konoha ... The shinobi felt overcome with new determination. It grounded him, it gave him a purpose. It told him that what he wanted was not revenge – it was _justice_.

_It started with Orochimaru. Now it must end with him._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Kabuto slid the needle smoothly through Sasuke's skin. The boy barely grimaced at the discomfort as his blood slipped away, down the tube to a small vial. He was so used to the procedure that it was practically a ritual. Every day he had a brief medical examination, and once a week he had a full, in depth testing. Orochimaru was determined not to have a repeat of the Kimimaro 'incident'.

Usually, the exams passed by with little or no talking. Kabuto would ask Sasuke to lift his arm, meet his eyes, lie down, sit up, and that was the extent of their conversation. But today was different.

"When will Orochimaru be back." It was barely a question, and Sasuke didn't raise his head to look at the medic. His voice was becoming more and more expressionless, to the point that he didn't bother to put an inflection in his words when asking a question. He only ever sounded angry.

"When he has finished with his business, I expect." Kabuto replied. Of course, he knew well and good what that business was. He had just got back from Konoha himself.

The spy thought about the kunoichi, Anko. He had enjoyed toying with her in the interrogation room, but he couldn't deny how surprised he was at her reaction when he took on the Sannin's form. Her instant submission was ... unexpected. As was Orochimaru's when he told the Sannin what she had said, and how she had reacted. He had been ... displeased at Kabuto's improvised actions when taking on his appearance, but Anko's reaction had made up for it. The medic hadn't seen that kind of smile for a long time, and hoped that it would be longer before he saw it again. It was the smile of a predator seeing that the prey was weak and defenceless.

Yet the other thing that had surprised him was that the Sannin had left, with obvious intent on going into Konoha and seeing Anko.

"_Orochimaru-sama ... are you certain? She may have told them of my presence after all, and there were many ANBU guarding her."_

_The Sannin stared at his servant, arrogant and sure in the knowledge of his own power. "They will not be able to stop _me_." He looked away then, smiling slightly at his own thoughts. "There are some things that one must do for oneself."_

Kabuto wondered how Anko had reacted to seeing him. He wondered whether she would realise immediately that it was really Orochimaru. _She probably will._

He glanced up at Sasuke, to see the boy scowling at the wall opposite. The medic was about to speak, when he felt the unmistakable presence of his master. Sasuke, too, sat up straighter. There was a strange gleam in his eyes that Kabuto didn't like, but there was no time to look at him more closely. He had to attend to Orochimaru, and see what visitors the Sannin may have brought.

Kabuto got up and exited the room, with Sasuke following him silently. They reached the doors to Orochimaru's rooms without saying a word, each preoccupied by their own thoughts. Kabuto stood at the door, waiting for his master to acknowledge his presence, and entered only when he was called.

They entered the room where Orochimaru received his guests. The Sannin was seated in his throne-like chair, and his head was turned slightly to his right, where a slim figure stood concealed by the shadows. He gave the impression that he had been speaking to the woman, to Anko, but he stopped when they came close.

Orochimaru's expression, when he turned to look at them, was truly frightening. It was the expression of a person who was within sight of his greatest desire. Anko, however, had no expression at all. She was standing on the Sannin's right, at attention and staring into the distance. Kabuto frowned slightly as he looked at her. _She's changed ... somehow._

"I hope your business was successful, Orochimaru-sama." the spy said softly. His instincts told him that his master was in an unusual mood, and that he should do his best not to provoke him. His instincts were generally right.

"Yes," Orochimaru smirked, his eyes flicking towards the woman at his side. His hand reached out to trail down her arm possessively, but she didn't even flinch. "It did go well, indeed. Anko has given me all the information about Konoha that I needed, and more. She has finally proven where her loyalties lie."

Kabuto bowed slightly, "It is good to have you back with us, Anko-san."

The kunoichi's eyes met his for a moment, and he had to repress a desire to step back. Her eyes said that she had not forgotten that he had touched her under the guise of Orochimaru. There was no forgiveness there, no mercy. But more than that, there was a lack of sanity. And Kabuto knew that she was losing it. She was losing who she had been to Orochimaru ... like so many others. The Sannin twisted those around him until they were to his liking, and he had been no different. Even though the medic had been a child of an enemy of Konoha, even though they had killed his parents, he would not be who he was at that moment were it not for Orochimaru. The person he could have been if the Sannin hadn't found him would never have voluntarily conducted experiments on living humans, he would never have casually committed murder. _That person is lost. He never existed._

Kimimaro was another example. The man had been a lost boy, who had been changed into a toy soldier, a potential vessel. And he had loved Orochimaru for it, until his untimely death. Only his sickness prevented the Sannin from possessing a powerful vessel, and Kimimaro had hated his own weakness that prevented it.

Anko would now betray her home for the Sannin, and do it willingly. She already had, even if she didn't realise it yet. The jutsu, he knew, played a large part as well. _She still doesn't know its full extent. She will only find out too late._

"The plans will proceed in three days." Orochimaru informed them. He smiled slyly, eagerly, "We can't allow Konoha to wait too long, can we?" The Sannin allowed himself a moment to savour the thought of returning to the village with an army at his back. And not just any army – one made up of traitors. _This will be the last time. This will be their end._ He met Kabuto's eyes, noting how the spy was continuously checking Anko's movements. His subordinate was not stupid by any means. _He knows that she has changed, that she is mine. _He watched her as well, from the corner of his eyes. His lips widened a little, sensing in the way that only he could that she wanted him again. The desire to pull her on to his lap and enforce his ownership crossed his mind, but he discarded it.

"Kabuto and I have business to deal with," he said. "Leave us."

Anko stepped away from his side without a glance, but Sasuke's displeasure was apparent to them all. Yet he said nothing, picking up like Kabuto that the Sannin was not to be antagonised at that point. He and Anko left the room in silence, and they were walking down the corridor for a number of moments before he finally spoke.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Anko said nothing. She stared straight ahead, and gave no sign that she'd heard him speak.

He turned and grabbed her arm, pushing her against the wall so that she was facing him. The Uchiha glared at her furiously, face pale with anger. "What have you _done_?" he hissed.

The kunoichi clenched her fists, but she didn't react to his shove.

"What did you tell him?" he insisted, getting angrier.

"Everything." she replied, voice empty. "I told him everything, and now he is going to attack Konoha."

"You idiot!" he growled, "You absolute _fool_! What do you think that will accomplish?! Do you think that will get you the power that you want?" He gritted his teeth, visibly holding back his rage. "Now he will devote his time to destroying that stupid village, rather than giving me the training that I need ... and you are the one to blame."

"And here I thought that you were angry because I gave him the knowledge to destroy your home," she said mockingly.

There was a flash of ... something, in Sasuke's eyes, but it was there for only a moment. "No, why would I care about that? There is only one thing that is important to me." His arrogance and dispassionate attitude were back full force, as well as the fire that entered his eyes when he thought of his brother. He looked at Anko, like he was considering his words in his mind before voicing them.

"I thought you wanted to kill Orochimaru, not help him."

Anko looked away, feeling again the emptiness that came along with her choice. She had chosen this path, she had chosen to come with Orochimaru and betray her home. Yet she hadn't thought about what it really meant. She hadn't let herself think about what it really meant.

_Kurenai ... Hokage-sama ... Kakashi ... If she gave him what he wanted, they might all ..._

She still wasn't letting herself think about it. Somewhere inside, the snake was supporting her decision. Every time she was around Orochimaru, it writhed beneath her skin and demanded satisfaction. Every time her emotions were heightened, by lust or anger or sadness, its will came to the fore of her mind, and it was all she could do to keep control. Even now, it was telling her to go back to the Sannin's rooms, and demand his attention. It was telling her to tell Sasuke to fuck off, and find his childish revenge elsewhere. **_All he is to Orochimaru is his vessel ... that is where his importance ends. Tell him! Tell him his insignificance!_**

It was a constant whispering in her ears that was slowly bringing her down. Even now, she couldn't remember if it had really been _her_ choice to take Orochimaru's hand ...

Sasuke watched her with bitter amusement, and something else hidden in the depths of his dark eyes. Something close to understanding. "You really are lost, aren't you?" he said quietly. Anko's head jerked up, and she stared at him in astonishment as he quoted the words she'd once said to him back at her. He turned away, taking another turn in the corridor. "I hope the others won't have to see you like this."

"_You really are lost, aren't you?" she asked softly. "I hope none of them have to see you again like this. It would break Kakashi's heart."_

_I said that. I said that to him. What have I ... what have I done?_ She stood staring at the space where Sasuke had been, and wondered how she had got to this point. But her thoughts were drowned out by a constant whispering, murmuring, muttering ... The fragments of sound surrounded her on all sides. There was no way that she could concentrate on her mistakes, on Konoha, on Ka-

"Anko ..." he purred, and his arms slid around her waist, pulling her back into his body. His lips pressed against her neck, and she went limp. An instant buzz ran through her limbs, along her nerves and chakra paths. He made her feel charged, alive, wanted ... And everything else fell away. Anko was an addict, and Orochimaru was the drug.

He was what she craved, and he was killing her.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Sasuke stood in the training grounds in Sound, and methodically did the series of exercises that honed his aim, his dexterity, his strength. It had become as smooth as a dance, and just as fluid. He had become so much stronger in his time at Sound, training under Orochimaru. He told himself that it had been worth it, but he would only really know that when he faced Itachi.

His thoughts skirted around his brother. He couldn't afford to think about him, because when it came to that man he was more irrational than any delusional and he knew it.

Instead he thought, as he rarely allowed himself to, about Naruto. His friend was a weakness, one that he couldn't afford, but some things went beyond his control. He cared about Naruto. Maybe he always would and maybe a few more years in Orochimaru's presence would kill that feeling, but for now it was still very much alive.

Sasuke knew that Naruto was not in Konoha. He had overheard Kabuto mentioning that he was training with the toad Sannin. Yet ...

...o..o.o..o...

"_I'm going to be the next Hokage!" his grin was blinding, and his enthusiasm astounding. The blond posed with his thumb held up on his outstretched arm, and the image burned itself into his mind. Sasuke would never forget that unique brand of determination._

_The two boys stared at each other, sweating and exhausted. Night had already fallen, and their marks on the tree trunk bark were level and halfway up its height. They had to walk up the trunk, perpendicular to the ground, and reach the top using their chakra. They had to reach the top. It was their goal, and neither were accustomed to giving up a goal ... or a dream._

_Anko looked away from him, seeing through the stone walls of the room. "You know, I was on a mission with Naruto-kun not too long ago. He's an amazing boy. His power keeps growing exponentially, but more than that his heart grows faster. He believes in the goodness of people, and never seems to give up on anyone he gives his trust to. He really might become Hokage some day." She turned to lock eyes with the Uchiha. "But his trust may get him killed before then, won't it?"_

_Sasuke kept looking at her, but said nothing. He did not give away any hint of concern over his former companion and best friend, or at her insinuations that he might kill him. Finally he said quietly, "I told him to forget about trying to help me."_

_She smiled bitterly at him. "When has Naruto ever given up on anything?"_

_Sasuke waited, in the exam room, for Naruto to give up. There was no way that he had the knowledge to answer the questions and pass, and he would never think to use his jutsu skills to cheat. He would have to give up before answering the tenth question, or he would fail and never be allowed to do the exam again. He would have to give up._

_But Naruto stood, and he shouted the challenge, his own fear, down. He said that he would never give up. He said that, one day, he would be the Hokage. He said that nothing was going to stop him._

_He was lying on the ground at Sasuke's feet, with a bloody chidori-sized hole in his midsection._

...o..o.o..o...

_No ... If Konoha is destroyed, then Naruto will lose his dream. _The Uchiha flung the kunai he held, and buried it completely in a tree trunk.

He stood, staring at the damaged tree, and thought about the substance, purpose, and importance of dreams.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: Apologies if there are unclear points at any time – feel free to ask me about anything, but some stuff I've made deliberately obscure. About Sasuke: I have read some of the latest manga and know that he seems to have changed a lot, but this story is set a few months after he left Konoha so I am assuming that he doesn't change immediately. Like I mentioned, the next chapter may take a while because I have to pull together all the loose threads and make sense of them! At this point, I still honestly have not decided how to end the fic. I have a lot of ideas, but am hoping that the story will continue to write itself, and the right ending will make itself known. It you have any ideas, let me know relatively soon so that I can incorporate them if they fit though I can't promise to use any.

Enjoy your week, and good luck to those who have work! I'm ready for holidays again ... ;)


	20. Ch20: Made

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: Well, originally this chapter was called 'Crimson Tide' and it was the climax, but I'm going to take longer writing that, so there are still a few chapters to come. I'll elaborate a little at the end, so you can read it if you feel like it. Enjoy the tense chapter!

Thanks to BloodRedShadows, LostsoulofRegret, Wicked-Lady-West and nickel1984 for reviewing the last chapter and also thanks to all who've been reading this story :)

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 20

**Made**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

There are times in your life when you feel so removed from what is happening around you that you can pretend that it isn't happening. You can pretend that you are dreaming, or looking through someone else's eyes. Your body moves, you speak, you eat ... but it isn't really you. _You_ are the small part hiding in the corner of your mind, imaginary hands over your eyes and ears. _You_ are the one rocking and pretending that you don't know what you're doing. But you do know. And you don't do anything to stop it.

That was Anko. She was standing at Orochimaru's shoulder, pointing out on his map the patrol routes and placements, the latest improvements to Konoha's defences, the weak points, the areas least defended. Every so often, he would touch her. He would slide his fingers across her skin. Her arm. Her hips. Her face. Her lips. And she would like it – whatever he did. She would shift impatiently and want to leave the planning until later, but he would smile and hold the pleasure back. He would turn her to the map, and pull more information out of her. He was playing her like a puppet, and she moved to his demands.

But she also knew that Sound did not have enough shinobi to mount an attack on Konoha alone, so she wasn't too surprised to see an emissary from Rock arrive two days before Orochimaru had planned their assault.

The man looked like a weasel. Anko had to consciously stop herself from wrinkling her nose in disgust at the way he grovelled at Orochimaru's feet, going on about how Konoha was a menace to them all. He said that the village had a monopoly in the shinobi world, and it had to be stopped. He spoke about how the mission was going to benefit them all, and how much he was looking forward to working with such a 'great man' as Orochimaru.

Anko watched as the Sannin smiled, and took the abasement as his due. Yet behind the smile, she saw his own contempt for the Rock nin. He hated people who were weak, and if he hadn't been so short on followers he would never have lowered himself to such an alliance. Of course, the man was also wary of a repeat of the previous attack where Orochimaru had killed his ally, the Sand Kazekage, and where the attack had been eventually repelled.

"Do you think that they will be able to stop me again?" the Sannin hissed. "I killed their Hokage. I will do it again, and this time they will not recover."

"And of course Rock nin are more skilled than those of Sand," the emissary said disdainfully. The man looked at Anko, who was standing at Orochimaru's side and staring expressionlessly straight ahead. He smiled in amusement, "And besides, how powerful can a village be if its members keep deserting?"

Orochimaru agreed, slyly glancing sidelong at Anko. "Yes. It does make you wonder, doesn't it?"

And then it was the night before they were to move in on Konoha. Orochimaru had decided that they would leave early in the morning, and meet up with their allies before carefully surrounding the hidden village and moving in at dusk. Anko knew that she hadn't heard all his plans. To be honest, she didn't want to. She was avoiding thinking about what her betrayal meant. She hadn't really been conscious the last time, and was glad that she had no memories to help her imagine what could happen.

She was lying on her back on his bed, debating whether she had the energy to get under the covers. She'd been so _tired_ lately, like all her energy was draining away. It was unusual for her, but she didn't dwell on it. Anko was getting used to avoiding worrying thoughts.

Orochimaru was working at his desk, going through scrolls and maps. He didn't seem to need much sleep – he always had some plan he was busy with. Some nights he wouldn't sleep at all. He hadn't been as interested in being with her since he'd started plotting Konoha's destruction. It was like the thought of demolishing the place he had grown up gave him more satisfaction than he got from her. Now that he had her, he wasn't worried about having to work to keep her. Orochimaru knew that Anko had nowhere else to go. She'd burned all her bridges, and that was it.

Anko had closed her eyes when she heard him get up. She opened them enough to see him walk over to the full-length mirror. He had on one of his casual robes that he wore before he slept (he didn't wear anything to sleep in ... so he wasn't wearing anything underneath). He seemed to be contemplating his reflection, and it wasn't in Anko's nature not to comment.

"Admiring yourself, are you?" she asked softly with a slight mocking tone. She could only see his back, but when he turned a little she could see his face in the mirror.

The Sannin smiled a little. "Why don't you come join me?"

"Tired." she replied shortly. She didn't want to get pulled into another game, even though she was a constant feature in a larger one.

Orochimaru was silent for a moment. Eventually he spoke quietly, and his tone of voice different from what Anko had ever heard before. "Have you ever thought about why you are here, Anko?"

The kunoichi shrugged. "Not really."

She could feel his intense, slightly disapproving, stare. "I don't believe that you have never wondered why you ended up here, with me."

Anko sat up a little, and she watched her hands run over the silk sheets. "Fine. I have wondered why."

"Do you understand it? Do you know the reason?"

"No." She frowned, uncomfortable under his scrutiny. It made her feel like one of his experiments.

He stared into the mirror, and past it. "I know why." Orochimaru paused for a long moment. "Because your past determines who you are."

"What are you talking about?" Anko said, confused but angry at the same time. "My past doesn't define _me_."

The Sannin whirled around to face her, his face full of some unnameable emotion. "Really? So it was not your past that made you _choose_ to become what you are, decide to betray the place you were born, and the people who love you?" But Anko didn't have time to answer before Orochimaru was walking towards her. He pulled her from the bed, and over to the mirror. He stood behind her, holding her to face the glass. "You are playing a part, Anko," he said in her ear, almost fanatically, "You are following a script that is dictated by what you have experienced. You are playing a role that was laid out for you."

Anko stared at her slightly frightened reflection. Orochimaru stood behind her, like some fallen guardian angel. "I don't understand," she said at last. He was looking at her expectantly, like she should have caught on to something.

He ran his hand over her shoulder, over the bare skin at her neck. "Like your parents, mine were killed on duty. It was so long ago, but I remember what it felt like. That was one of the reasons why I took you as my genin, Anko. That, and the reason that it meant you would be only mine. But that isn't the most important ... it was later, that I realised that things are determined by your past. You see, when that fool old man passed me over as Hokage, he determined my future. He determined what I would become." His expression turned cold with fury as he remembered. "He filled me with an anger that would never die, and the desire to learn everything, to show him how wrong he was to cross me."

Orochimaru held her in a grip that was almost painfully tight. He looked in her eyes as he spoke his next words. "I took you so that I could help you, because I understood. But later, after he passed me by, I wanted to see to what extent I could determine your role in this life. I wanted your future."

Anko met his eyes, and her face went pale as the full extent of his manipulation over her life became apparent. "So everything you did to me ... every lesson, every experience and experiment was to ... to turn me into _this_?!" His face showed no remorse at her anger, her horror. "You manipulated me so that I would make these decisions?"

He smiled at her shock. "Think about it, Anko. What have you ever chosen that wasn't already decided by what you have experienced with me?"

_Nothing. Everything has been because of him ... everything ..._ It implied that Orochimaru had thought far further ahead than she believed possible ... that he could have predicted how she would act in future situations based on what he'd caused her to experience in her past. But it was just another experiment, and if it had failed he wouldn't have cared. Yet he was far better at manipulation than most, and it hadn't failed so far.

"You must be pleased that your _experiment_ worked, then," Anko spat. He made her feel so empty – like the agonising and hardship she had gone through meant nothing in the end. Everything she had done had been according to his plans, and there was nothing she could do to circumvent it.

Something inside cried that it wasn't true, that you didn't have to be a product of your past ... but the voice was too faint.

"You mustn't be bitter, my dear," he said, with a little mocking affection in his voice. But his eyes ... Orochimaru couldn't hide the darkness there. His hands started to wander, pulling at her clothing. "It means that I know you better than anyone, but it also means that you are not really responsible for your actions. In a way, you are blameless."

Anko couldn't help how she latched on to the thought. The guilt ... she couldn't deal with it. It wasn't an emotion she was familiar with, and she couldn't handle it. Any excuse to put the blame elsewhere ... and where better than Orochimaru? He was the one she blamed for everything after all, and he was the one she couldn't get enough of.

His hands had slipped under her clothes, and her thoughts slipped away. She wasn't seeing their reflection, because she was too caught up in her physical feelings. If she had focussed on the mirror, the image of two intertwined snakes wrapped around them would have only disturbed her.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Are we what we have made ourselves? Or are we made by those around us? Is who we are based on who we want to be, or is it determined by who we have been? How could we tell whether we act because it is who we are, or because it is who we've been made to be by our past? Some people experience things that mean they will never react to a certain situation in the same way again. Everything is coloured by what you have experienced, and everything you see that links to your past changes the way you see it.

But does that mean that it wasn't your choice? Or does it mean that you never had one, because you wouldn't have chosen differently?

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Anko was standing at Orochimaru's side, on top of the Hokage's monument. Konoha was laid at their feet, peaceful and unaware. Every building that the kunoichi saw made her remember her past. Everything she saw was coloured by her experience with Orochimaru.

The sun was setting, creating a kaleidoscope of shades of blues and purples, reds and golds. It was beautiful ... and it didn't touch her at all.

The Sannin stared down at the hidden village that was exposed to his hungry eyes. He watched it, and the people moving along its streets, with the expression of a predator. The light bathed the town in colours that made it seem surreal. She could easily have been dreaming. In fact, a small part of her was hiding in the corner of her mind and pretending to have a nightmare. A nightmare where she was standing at Orochimaru's side, about to destroy her home.

_I don't have a home any more.** No. You don't.**_

Sasuke was standing just behind Anko, but he wasn't looking down at the village. He was watching her. Kabuto was standing at Orochimaru's other side, following his master's eyes to the village. He seemed to be quietly eager to get going, and probably had a certain famous Copy Nin in mind. Behind them all were ranged a number of Sound nin, and a messenger from Rock.

Orochimaru licked his lips, savouring the moment. "Get in position," he told the shinobi behind them, "Wait until I give the signal."

"What signal?" Anko asked.

The Sannin just smiled. "You'll see."

Was this the end? Was it the end of everything? When Orochimaru pooled his chakra into one of the most powerful jutsus Anko had ever felt, and the ground started to shake, she thought it might be. The power flowed through his body, through his feet, and into the rock of the monument beneath them. The loud cracks reverberated through her bones, and she could see the small ant-sized people in the town below start to scurry around in fright and confusion.

Coinciding with the earthquake, Anko saw the giant two-headed snake raise its head from where it had been slithering through the forests at the far boundary of the village. There were distant shouts and screams as the citizens faced once again the terror of an attack that seemed all too familiar. Anko could only wonder why no ANBU had detected their approach and warned the village sooner. Perhaps that was why Kabuto was looking so smug – some excellent undercover work had been accomplished.

The Rock nin and some of those of Sound were moving in, engaging the Konoha shinobi who were moving to defend their home. But once again they were taken by surprise, and in the confusion it was difficult for them to get into proper positions. It wouldn't take long, however, for the older shinobi to bring the younger in line. Even now, Anko could see a cloud of kikai bugs rise up in the direction of the Aburame clan homes. The advantage of surprise wouldn't last forever.

"Is it going to fall?" Anko asked Kabuto, looking down at the cliff at their feet.

"Not yet." Orochimaru answered her, an anticipatory smile on his face. "Not just yet."

"What are you waiting for?"

"The right players to come and meet us." The look in his eyes made her feel cold. "You will enjoy this. Believe me."

He seemed to almost radiate power, and Anko understood what he meant. His presence was unmistakable, and would draw the people he wanted. In turn, her snake spirit rose up inside her, rasping against the inside of her skin. It twisted in her chest, gathering together chakra for the fight ahead ... because Anko had no doubt that there would be one. With her heightened senses, she could feel a handful of powerful people moving towards them, and she knew that one of them was Kakashi. Another was definitely the Hokage. There was no way that she would let the presence of her old teammate go by unnoticed. Or unchallenged.

Even before their opponents materialised, the snake was whispering in her mind. It was telling her that nothing mattered except for Orochimaru, and destroying the place that had shunned her. It didn't matter whether it spoke truth or lies – it was all the same. So when Kakashi finally appeared, Anko could meet his eyes with no feeling in her own.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

She looked dead. She looked like she was already dead. That was all Kakashi could think, and it filled him with a burning hatred that was directed towards the man who was standing far too close to her side. It wasn't enough that Orochimaru had betrayed the village, and was so intent on its destruction that he killed their Sandaime. No, it wasn't enough – he had to pull down innocents with him, twisting them so much that those who loved them couldn't even recognise them. He could feel Sakura's shock. She was standing at his side, with her eyes locked on Sasuke and her body rigid as steel. The Uchiha had adopted an arrogant, aloof expression, and wasn't even looking her way.

That damn smug spy was standing there as well, and Kakashi had no doubt that he was the one responsible for their ability to take Konoha by surprise. But it was Orochimaru who was the focus of his rage, and he spared no thought for the medic. He heard the destruction and fighting going on down below, but his mind was here, above the face of his sensei the Yondaime. _It will end here._

That was exactly what Tsunade was thinking as well. _It will end here._ She was determined that Orochimaru would never again cause her people harm, that he would never again hurt those she cared about. He had been her teammate, and she had loved him, but he'd thrown it back in her face. He'd spat in the face of their teacher when he first took a human life for his experiments, and he'd scorned God when he killed to prolong his own miserable existence for the sake of _knowledge_. _More like power,_ she thought bitterly, watching as the man merely smiled at her, confident in his own plans and skills. _But he's underestimated me for the last time. He has underestimated us all._

She glanced at Sakura, and prayed that the girl would have the strength to deal with her ex-teammate. The Hokage had known that she wouldn't be able to stop her following, and looking at the numbers of opponents was glad that she hadn't stopped her even if she may not be ready. _Goddammit girl, don't break down on me. I need you to stay strong, and deal with the boy you love so that I can deal with his master._ Shizune would divert Kabuto, because Tsunade had no doubt that Anko would target Kakashi, even though the Copy Nin would try to go after Orochimaru. _That snake is mine – I claim that right. But ..._ She remembered the last time they had fought, and how she and Jiraiya together had only just been able to hold him off. She'd had to use that dangerous seal to heal herself, and she was worried about Shizune fighting the medic as well. He was powerful too ... they all were.

She shook her doubts off. _It doesn't matter. This is it. This is the end._

Orochimaru chuckled, drawing all their eyes. "It looks like you've both been missed, Anko, Sasuke-kun ... But this is hardly a _hospitable_ welcome." He smiled, taunting his old teammate and enjoying every moment of it.

"You dare to come here again, Orochimaru?" Tsunade demanded, eyes flashing with her hot temper. "After everything you have done, there is no redemption for you ... in this life, or the next."

He sighed with slight irritation. "Is that all, Tsunade? If it is, then we may as well get started." He reached out and ran his hand slowly and suggestively down Anko's arm and side. She stared at the Konoha nin without reacting at all. "There are things more ... _interesting_ to occupy my time these days rather than mere talk ..."

There was a flash of movement, and clang of steel, and Kakashi was standing in front of Orochimaru with a kunai in hand, which was stopped by another held by Anko. She met Kakashi's eyes, standing between the two men who were her lovers. In her other hand were two kunai that he had thrown as well. She'd stopped his attack dead, and Orochimaru hadn't had to move at all.

Orochimaru smirked. "I think you've found your opponent," he told Kakashi over Anko's shoulder. His amusement faded into an anger and mockery, "As if _you_ could ever face _me_!" he said scornfully.

"He might not be able to, but I can." Tsunade challenged him.

"We'll see, Tsunade-_chan_," the snake Sannin smiled again.

"Sasuke ..." Her voice was so faint that the wind almost carried it all away. The Uchiha turned to meet her eyes with his own, which were as dead as Anko's and even more forbidding to Sakura. The kunoichi took a deep breath, and pulled herself together. "Sasuke," she said, voice firmer, "You are coming back."

The shinobi sighed, like she was a child whose questions he was weary of hearing. "No. I am not." He glanced at her, and then away like she meant nothing.

Sakura clenched her fists, her own hot temper rising at his quick dismissal. **_Who the HELL does that shit-faced BASTARD think he is?!?! We'll show the little snot not to take US so lightly!!!_** her inner self screamed. But as usual, Sakura held that self inside. "Maybe Naruto isn't here to talk to you ... maybe you don't care about what I think, but I _know_ you still care about _us_." Her voice was full of the confidence she had built over the months she'd been working under the less-than-gentle Hokage, and Sasuke turned his head to look at her with a faint hint of surprise.

"This is your _home_, Sasuke, whether or not you have blood-family left. This is the place that your family loved and protected, where they kept the _peace_. Are you going to sacrifice all they worked for, all they cared about, all _you_ care about, just for revenge?! Are you going to give Orochimaru your body just so that your brother dies a few years _sooner_?!" She pulled herself up, and pulled together her chakra. She stared him in the eyes, seeing that he was listening to her. Sakura tried to convey with her own eyes the full force of her belief in her words ... and in him.

"If you're not going to stop ... then I'm going to make you."

His lips curled up scornfully, hiding the impact her words had on him. "I'd like to see you try."

In a heartbeat they had both thrown kunai, and were sparring fiercely. Sasuke didn't seem fazed or impressed by Sakura's speed, but she was keeping up with him. They had both improved, yet Sasuke hadn't revealed his Sharingan. Until he did, Sakura knew that he wasn't taking her seriously. They moved away from the rest of the group, further from the edge of the cliff and into the forests. For the moment, it was merely an intense spar ... but it wouldn't stay that way.

The fighters were pairing off with their opponents – Sakura and Sasuke, Anko and Kakashi, Shizune with a slightly annoyed Kabuto, and Tsunade with Orochimaru. It almost seemed planned, but it would probably be one of the hardest fights any of them would ever see.

And below, the rest of the Konoha shinobi were fighting a desperate battle against the invading nin. There were screams and crashes as portions of the newly-repaired town were ripped apart by the massive serpent. The snake's eyes flashed red as it hissed after a hit by a fire jutsu, but it retaliated with the speed only a serpent has. Yet although the battle seemed a mass of chaos from above, it was composed of a number of small fights, small struggles against death. Here, a Konoha nin leapt out from his hiding place, and managed to take down two Rock nin with a clever earth jutsu. There, the ANBU were battling a group of Sound elite. And then there was the young Konoha shinobi who fell back with a kunai through his throat, while his friend screamed his name but could do nothing but watch him die.

A shinobi's life is one of loss and struggle, and the Konoha nin were struggling for their lives, their home, their loved ones. They were dealers of death, and sometimes that was forgotten. They fought to maintain their place in this life, so that they could see the colours of another day ... but not all of them would. It was the end ... but the end of what? Who would win? Who would triumph?

While most shinobi fought, some helped the civilians and children towards the monument where their secret tunnels and hideouts were. They helped the children along to safety, carrying them if they had to, unaware of the cracks in the mountain-face caused by Orochimaru's jutsu.

Who would triumph? Maybe it depended on what plans lay in place. Maybe it depended on a young man remembering that he had a heart and that some things mattered more than revenge.

And maybe it depended on a young woman realising what her dreams were.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I felt like I had to give you guys another chapter to read while I think up an ending although I was thinking of making this a really long chapter with it all included. Holidays are starting now, so I may or may not have time to write a bit. The reason I took a while getting this up is I've had a busy last two weeks – I was working as well as going to lectures and haven't had a life ;) It's 1am right now, and I really need my sleep ...

Thanks for all the support, hope you all have a great weekend!


	21. Ch21: Crimson Tide

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: Wow, the end is here ... I'm not sure how I feel about it! This chapter is the longest by miles, because I didn't want a pointless cliffhanger (and murderous readers!) or an epilogue – so this is really the end because I don't see any sequels coming, as much as some very kind people have asked for them. I want to take this opportunity to sincerely thank all those people who have supported me through the writing of this fic – whether you reviewed once or every chapter, it truly meant a lot to me. Even though I don't give personal replies, each one really makes my day. This is the first story that I have ever properly finished, and at almost 90 000 words and 163 A4 pages I'm pretty proud of it! The ending may not appeal to everyone, but I hope you enjoy it reading it as much as I did writing it :)

Thanks to BloodRedShadows, LostsoulofRegret, hannah rice, burnt, Lyneia, Ihateflamers and JadeFaeryQueen who reviewed the last chapter and all those who've reviewed the previous chapters!

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Chapter 21

**Crimson Tide**

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The end. It was supposed to be dramatic, wasn't it? It was supposed to be full of angst and trauma and impossible choices. In that way, the story was probably following the script. But most stories have happy endings ...

Anko had given up on happy endings a long time ago. She couldn't pinpoint the exact time. Maybe it was when her parents didn't come home, or when she first killed a human being. Or maybe it was when she saw a girl floating in green light and she saw herself reflected in Orochimaru's proud, soulless eyes.

Now, fighting Kakashi, she could almost have pretended that they were just sparring – that the last few months hadn't even happened. She could have pretended that, but she didn't. She had made her choice, and a part of her accepted that.

Kakashi didn't.

"Anko, what are you doing? How could you ...?!"

She watched him with a feeling of almost-pity. His feelings for her had weakened him – it wasn't hard to see that. Even through the mask, Anko could see that his composure was cracking.

He leapt out of the way of her thrown kunai, his speed increased by the advantage the Sharingan eye gave him. Kakashi looked strong on the outside – agile, powerful, skilled – but Anko was strong as well and more than she had ever been. In the past, he may have beaten her relatively easily ... but not any more.

"I won't let my feelings make me weak, like they've done to you." Her lip curled in contempt when she saw how he hesitated at attacking her. "_Look_ at you! You're _pathetic_ ... what did I ever see in you?"

Kakashi's fists clenched in anger. "How could you let him turn you into this? How could you forget –"

Anko laughed, spreading her hands in cruel amusement. "Maybe _this_ is who I am! Have you thought of that? Maybe this is who I _really_ am!" She threw fireballs at him from each fist, revelling in the power available to her.

The Copy Nin dodged, but shook his head sadly while he did. "No, you are not a monster ... but you have been deceived. Your power isn't what you think it is, Anko ... it comes at a much higher price than you could imagine."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

"Still hiding the signs of your age, Tsunade?" Orochimaru asked, taunting her. "I can't understand why you are so ashamed of a few wrinkles ..." He slithered aside, dodging her flung fist that had a lot more power behind it than it seemed.

The Hokage glared at her ex-teammate. "Not ashamed enough to _kill_ to hide them ... how do you explain that, you bastard?" She tilted her head to one side, pretending that she had just remembered something. "Oh, I'm sorry – you extend your lifespan for _knowledge_, how forgetful of me ... What a much _better _reason for murder!"

"And how many people have you killed, Tsunade-chan?" He smiled, unaffected by her comments. "Or rather, how many people have you watched die?" He lashed out at her with his extended tongue, lashing it through the air like a whip. But it was his words that lashed at her with more poison. His words brought up images of her lover, and her brother ... the people she had watched die. There were more than those two, though they had meant the most to her. As a medic, there had been people she hadn't been able to save, but no lives would haunt her as much as those two.

Orochimaru had tried before to use their lives as bargaining chips in his dealings with her. There was no depth to which he wouldn't sink. He was so intelligent, so powerful ... but so twisted. He managed to inspire a fanatical devotion in a number of his followers with his manipulation and magnetic strength of personality. _I wish Jiraiya was here, that old pervert. I think I might need his help._

"I had Anko examined while she was in our care, Orochimaru." Tsunade replied at last, in between their fighting. "How could you do this to her? Don't you care about her at all?"

The snake Sannin sneered. "Nothing is happening to her that she didn't ask for. It has nothing to do with me if she didn't understand the results of her actions."

"You fucking _bastard_!" the Hokage growled, sickened, "Doesn't she mean anything to you? Or did you just fuck her because it meant you could mess her up more?"

Orochimaru smiled, amused. "I should have known that you would be one of the first to pick that up." His golden eyes had never seemed more alien to her. "Why should I care what happens to her? I will just have to find a better tool. A better _fuck_."

Her fury at his words stopped her from seeing a glint of something else in his eyes – something that wasn't pure selfish arrogance.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The truth in his voice made her pause for a moment. "That snake you share your soul with ... it's killing you, Anko." Kakashi said, his eyes pleading with her to believe him.

"You're lying." her voice was as flat and forbidding as her eyes.

"Your body can't handle the stress the extra chakra is putting on it – that's why you fainted when I saw you last. The results came up when Hokage-sama had the medics examine you. Your body is falling apart, Anko, and Orochimaru knows all about it – I would wager my life on that!"

The kunoichi shook her head, but she couldn't blot out his words.

"You're _dying_, Anko."

"No." she refused to think about how his claims fit in with the facts. She had coughed up blood before, hadn't she? It was nothing new. And it didn't matter whether that added to the possible reasons why Orochimaru changed bodies so often. It was only the fact that he'd stolen them that caused them to deteriorate ... wasn't it? It couldn't be because this soul-sharing jutsu ... it couldn't be that it slowly killed the host. That was impossible. _I would know, wouldn't I? I would know if I was dying ... __**Of course. There is nothing wrong with you ... that **_**he**_** can't fix.**_ That last whisper was added so softly that she almost didn't 'hear' it. It set a chill in her hidden heart, because it leant weight to what Kakashi claimed as the truth.

If her body _was_ deteriorating, then only Orochimaru would be able to help her ... because he was the only one who knew how to move a soul to a different body.

She had to know the truth, and there was only one person who could give it to her.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Sakura flung a kunai at Sasuke. He stepped to one side, but when he saw the explosive tag fluttering from the hilt he rolled quickly further away. The kunai harmlessly hit a tree behind him. The Uchiha curled his lips in a contemptuous smirk until the explosion of that tagged kunai broke off a large portion of the tree ... which started to fall towards him.

Even that wasn't enough to ruffle his confidence. But Sakura had planned her strategy well – the tree took out another and another, falling in a domino effect that kept him dodging the falling debris as well as keeping an eye on her for other tricks. The groaning of splintering wood continued until the last domino had fallen, and there was a wide circle of devastation caused by Sakura's one kunai.

Sasuke stood silently, looking and listening for any sign of his ex-teammate. "Do you only have one trick?" he said at last, taunting her.

"I've got a few more," she replied, but her voice echoed strangely. Four Sakura's leapt out at him from behind fallen branches, but the deception didn't faze him. He ignored the harmless shadow-clones and twisted to throw a shuriken at a 'branch' a few metres away. Sakura launched herself to the side, giving away what he already knew – that she had used a jutsu to camouflage herself there so that she could take advantage of the distraction her clones were supposed to give her.

Sasuke's eyes widened suddenly when he felt a movement in the air behind him, and he fell into a crouch to avoid the blow from the _real_ Sakura. She had pretended to be one of the clones that jumped out at him, knowing that he would see the clone still hiding and would think that _that_ was her. He had underestimated her, but he would learn his mistake soon enough.

"You've improved." he admitted, seeming faintly surprised.

Sakura smiled grimly. "You have no idea how much." And she raised her fist, and brought it crashing to the ground between them.

Sasuke was taken aback when the ground shook with the force of Sakura's hit. He realised then that she had learnt more from the slug Sannin than medic skills. She had learnt how to focus her chakra to give her immense strength. He also realised that he better get the hell out of the way of her fists.

The Uchiha leapt to a safe distance away, and studied the girl who he'd thought was far less able than she really was. He'd known that she had amazing chakra control, but took it for granted that it was just because she had so little chakra to control. But her capacity, and her skills, had improved. _She_ had improved.

"I suppose I should take you seriously then." he said shortly, his eyes bleeding to crimson swirls. Sakura immediately dropped her gaze so that she wouldn't be caught by those eyes. She had no intention of failing so easily. She had no intention of failing at all.

The kunoichi took up her fighting stance again, ready to counter any move he made. But Sasuke had been training with Orochimaru, and he'd been studying only fighting skills while Sakura dedicated a lot of time to healing. Sasuke was also driven by something that the kunoichi couldn't even comprehend – a rage, a hate, so deep and dark that even hell couldn't accommodate it. It had forced him to train rather than do such menial things like _eating_ or _sleeping_. He also hadn't had the distraction provided by friends or trivial missions.

Sasuke was a tool honed for nothing but the kill, and as hard as Sakura tried she wouldn't be able to best him.

The kunoichi was strong, and she fought fiercely and passionately, but in the end it didn't take long for the Uchiha to catch her with his eyes, and pull her into his world of crimson illusions.

...o..o.o..o...

_Sakura's heart pounded wildly when she saw the red landscape, the red sky with red clouds. She knew what the bloodstained scenery meant. Sasuke had caught her, and there was no way she could escape from the grip of his Sharingan. Even now, her body was frozen in place – a puppet in the world that _he _commanded._

_And there he was – the master of this illusion. Sasuke walked up to her slowly, his expression inscrutable. Sakura couldn't stem the rising terror in her breast, but she couldn't do anything but murmur his name._

"_Sasuke ..." she whispered, staring into his still-red eyes. Her own turquoise eyes were wide and couldn't hide her fear from him._

"_You shouldn't have tried to stop me, Sakura." he said to her, feeling no satisfaction at her obvious signs of fear. "You will never understand where your place is. You will never understand how insignificant you are, how powerless. It doesn't matter how much you learn – you will always be looking at others surpassing you. You will always be looking at my back."_

_Sasuke made her see the images supporting his words. He made her see the times she had failed, the times she had fallen behind. The failure, the weakness, flowed over her soul and cracked her heart – the heart that always held her love for him. The love that he had always spurned._

_He was still speaking, but Sakura couldn't hear him any more. Something else was rising up inside her, lashing out at the bonds he'd put on her body and mind. Sasuke's eyes widened when he saw a shadow-Sakura rise over the real kunoichi – it rose over her, larger and fiercer with a wild rage that he would never have associated with his ex-teammate. _

_The clone pulled in a breath, and roared at him as it ripped the chains his Sharingan held over Sakura. "**How DARE you talk to us like that?! You FUCKING bastard – you have absolutely NO right! You are a coward and a traitor, and a selfish arrogant PRICK who doesn't deserve to have friends willing to die for him! We're your **_**family****_ Sasuke! If you don't WAKE UP and realise what a mistake you've made pretty soon, then we're going to kick the fucking stuffing out of your pretty-boy hide!_**_"_

...o..o.o..o...

Sakura fell back, shaking her head. _What happened?_ She wondered, when she saw Sasuke staring at her in complete shock. _**We told him what's what, that's all.**_ her inner self replied, horribly smug at finally being able to have her own say. Sakura remembered – falling into his Sharingan, the ... horrible things he said to her, and then ... and then her inner self made herself known. _I can't believe we said that!_ she thought, in a shock of her own. _**It's about time.**_

"S-Sasuke?" she ventured timidly, unsure whether he was going to attack her again, unsure of where they stood. Just then, she felt a faint tremor in the rock of the mountain beneath her feet. "What's that?" she asked.

"Orochimaru has rigged the monument. It's going to collapse when he gives the sign." Sasuke answered her, but she couldn't make out his tone.

"But the villagers!" Sakura cried, horrified. "They are all being led to the caves in the mountain with the children to hide! If it collapses ..."

"They will all die." Sasuke finished the sentence she couldn't. He stared at her with dark eyes, and then seemed to straighten. "You must go warn them – get them out of harms way."

"Sasuke ..."

"I'll go and try stop him from triggering it, but it might be too late." he continued, ignoring the question in her voice, or the compassion.

But Sakura couldn't be distracted. "Sasuke ... why? Why are you helping us now?"

"Sometimes ... sometimes dreams are important. You can ... you can tell Naruto that I said that." His expression darkened, "And I am not a child-killer, I am not a monster. I am not my brother." He glared at her, pushing her away with his anger. "But that doesn't mean I am coming back. Nothing has changed."

He turned and left almost faster than she could follow with her eyes. Sakura turned immediately towards the village, and her mission. But even though disaster hung overhead, ready with its scythe to take away her home and innocent lives, her heart lifted.

_'Nothing has changed' ... That's not true. Everything has._

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

Orochimaru was using his tongue and a serpent extending from each wrist to chase Tsunade, distracting her from the trembling in the cliff below them and the cries of the villagers below. He watched her, his amusement not fading when she sliced off the head of the one snake in a lightning move. _Soon ..._ he thought, excitement growing as his triumph neared, _soon she won't have the heart to defy me. When this cliff falls ... it will be the end._ He watched her blond hair whip through the air as she somersaulted to evade the remaining snake. It reminded him of when they were both younger, when she had watched him with longing eyes. _Perhaps I may let her live ... if it pleases me. But then again, perhaps not._

He felt two presences nearing, and smiled in satisfaction. _So predictable ..._

Anko landed in a half-crouch a few metres away from him, and Kakashi landed next to Tsunade a few moments later. The slug Sannin breathed heavily, looking at the Copy Nin questioningly. "You told her?"

"Yes." Kakashi replied shortly, his eyes locked on Anko and Orochimaru.

"Yes, Anko?" the snake Sannin smiled at her, but he wasn't pleased. "You came back ... without killing him."

Anko ignored the question and the whispers in her head. "Am I dying?"

Orochimaru waved a hand towards his opponent. "My dear, I am a little busy ... Surely this can wait. You would know whether you are dying, wouldn't you? I don't see any injuries."

But the kunoichi knew that it was all a charade. She knew that _he_ knew. "Is this jutsu killing me?" she asked again, voice flat and cold.

Orochimaru smirked. "Power doesn't come cheap – surely you knew this already. Nothing comes without a price ... some prices are merely steeper than others." But his voice was serious when he spoke next. "Perhaps you should have discovered how steep it was before you leapt."

"I'm not ready to die," she murmured, feeling empty at this confirmation. She didn't even really care that the Sannin had known – he hadn't made her use the jutsu. Well, in a way he had – she had used it because she wanted revenge on him. _I can't die ... there were things, things I wanted to do-_ But she couldn't remember what they had been. She couldn't remember what had driven her to live, other than a desire for revenge on Orochimaru. _But look how that turned out ..._ He was her lover, not her target any more. Somehow, things had changed. But some things hadn't. "I don't want to die ..."

"Your body is wearing out ... you will merely need a new one." He watched her closely, seeing her realise what he meant. "And of course, I am the only one who knows _that_ technique ..."

"Anko! No! Don't you see how he's manipulating you?!" Kakashi growled, furious and desperate. "We could find some way to help you! Don't listen to him!"

"Now he has all the leverage he wants," Tsunade said softly, feeling unbearably sad as she watched the kunoichi break. Anko was staring straight into the other Sannin's eyes, and like the snake he was he manipulated her into the exact position and state of mind he wished. She wanted to put her hand on Kakashi's arm, to comfort him, because she knew that Anko wouldn't leave the only man who could save her life. She was under no illusions that she could help – this soul-sharing seal was like nothing she had ever seen. Besides, she had more to worry about than one kunoichi – she had the whole village to care for. One person, no matter how unfortunate, could come before that.

But the Hokage's heart stopped when she saw Sasuke. The Uchiha strolled up to the snake Sannin, unharmed and unconcerned.

"You didn't have any trouble, did you Sasuke-kun?" Orochimaru asked his vessel, his smirk widening as he pulled Anko against his side. She had given in for the last time, and he didn't have to be concerned about her any more – she would do as she was told, and follow the path that was made for her.

"No." Sasuke replied, arrogantly tossing his head. "None."

Tsunade's face went pale as she read into the Uchiha's words. _Sakura ... no ..._ "What have you done? _What have you done_?!"

Sasuke didn't say a word – he watched her with dark, soulless eyes. Orochimaru rested his hand on the boy's shoulder like a proud father. In fact, the three of them looked like a family – a dark, twisted family from one of Kakashi's nightmares. The sight of them made his heart clench painfully, like it was withering and dying in his chest. It sucked away his hope, but what Orochimaru said next turned him cold like Death was hovering over his soul.

The ground trembled slightly at their feet, and Orochimaru laughed as he watched the Copy Nin and Godaime's puzzled faces. "It's too late for more than that girl. Do you have any idea what is happening beneath your feet while you both have been so occupied with _revenge _and lost _loves_?"

"Orochimaru, what-" Tsunade began, horror beginning to overtake her heart. More was going on than she realised.

His golden eyes glowed with fanaticism as he took a step forward. "While your shinobi try to defend this pathetic village, others are leading the civilians and children towards hidden caves in the mountain-face, are they not?"

"How do you ..." Kakashi said, but paused as the terrible realisation hit him. He looked at Anko, but the kunoichi was staring at the ground with hell in her eyes. She was the reason that Orochimaru knew about the caves. She had told him everything.

"What do you think would happen," Orochimaru said, speaking slowly and savouring every word, "if I were to cause this mountain to collapse now?"

The Hokage and Kakashi froze. Enough time had passed for the civilians and children to have reached the caves ... they could imagine them cowering there, frightened by the fighting and the trembling ground. Would any of them think to leave? Would there be anyone there who would realise what the shaking meant? But they wouldn't leave. There was nowhere else to go, and no way that they would realise that the shaking wasn't just from the movements of the giant snake as it crushed their home.

"You wouldn't ..." Tsunade whispered, knowing as she spoke that that was a lie. There was nothing that he wouldn't do.

Orochimaru took a step closer. His smile was that of a predator. "Then watch, Hokage-_sama_, and see what I _will_ do!"

He had only begun to raise his hand, when Kakashi flashed forward. There was a gleam of steel, a whistle in the air. And then there was a liquid ripping noise, a flash of crimson. The Copy Nin stood barely a foot away from his target, but he was holding his hands to his chest. Red blood swelled between his fingers, and spilled down his jonin jacket to pattern the grass at his feet. Hatake Kakashi, unbeaten, stared at the opponent he hadn't even seen move. Orochimaru was holding his own kunai, stained by his own blood, between two fingers. The Sannin was untouched, except by an expression of utmost scorn.

He leaned a little closer to the frozen shinobi, venom dripping from his voice. "In what life could _you _have ever stopped _me_?"

Tsunade ran forward to catch Kakashi before he fell, and she lowered him on to his back. Immediately, despite the blood that made her phobia rise up and threaten to choke her, she had summoned chakra and was trying to close the wound as fast as possible. Orochimaru didn't do things by halves – he'd pierced the shinobi's lung and nicked his heart. She had to heal Kakashi quickly and then stop him ... somehow.

The snake Sannin, meanwhile, raised his hands again, summoning the chakra he required to finish the village that he couldn't leave behind until it was destroyed. He couldn't move on until he had demolished the place where he'd been rejected, underestimated, passed over. _Now, it will end._ He closed his eyes, and called the power of his own snake spirit. He may have always had an attraction, a similarity, to serpents, but this jutsu had enhanced them. Orochimaru had been looking forward to this moment for a long time, and he was going to enjoy it.

The next flash of movement was quick, deadly, unexpected. With his focus elsewhere, the snake Sannin may not have been able to react in time. But it didn't matter. When he turned around, it was to see Sasuke with a kunai in his hand, ready to stab where Orochimaru's heart had been. Blood dripped from the blade, but it wasn't the Sannin's. Kabuto had his hand wrapped around the kunai, oblivious to the pain as it sliced his skin. The only thing that mattered to him was that he had stopped Sasuke from killing his master. Sasuke ... who had suddenly swapped sides.

Orochimaru met the young man's eyes, anger and irritation overtaking his surprise at the boy's impudence. His hand swept out, and he struck the Uchiha a glancing blow to the side of his face, sending him to the grassy floor. He glared down at his potential vessel, furious at the interruption.

"And now? Have you suddenly developed a conscience, Sasuke-kun?" he asked, voice full of contemptuous anger. He shook his head, acting disappointed. "It's a pity. I would have thought that avenging the lives of your family would be worth more than _this_," he waved one hand disparagingly at the village below. "Itachi-"

"_I'm not like him_!" Sasuke spat blood, and glared up at the man who had been his teacher for the last few months. "I am not my brother! I will not be a part of the mass-murder of innocents!" Those images ... those images of bodies of those who had been his _family_ would never leave him. As much as he wanted to kill Itachi, he couldn't allow something like that to happen again.

Orochimaru's lips curved in a cruel smile. "You already are a part of this ... and none of you are going to stop me."

Tsunade was staring up in shock at the sudden changes in events. That Sasuke had tried to kill Orochimaru, she couldn't deny – even though she could barely believe it. It meant that Sakura was probably safe, but the appearance of Kabuto had broken her heart again. The medic was breathing hard, and seemed to have depleted a large amount of chakra, but despite a few scrapes he was unharmed. _Shizune ... Gods, Shizune ..._ Her emotions were going haywire. First she was certain that Sakura was dead, then she was certain she was alive, and now her dearest friend was probably ...

But there wasn't time for that – she couldn't take her hands off Kakashi, or he would die. Sasuke was slowly getting up, but Kabuto was watching his every move. Orochimaru was readying himself to trigger the collapse of the mountain, and Anko ... Anko looked like she was in hell. The kunoichi's eyes were haunted as she looked from Orochimaru, to Kakashi, to Sasuke and back.

Anko's world was caving in. Sasuke's words echoed in her mind: "_I will not be a part of the mass-murder of innocents!" "I am not like him!"_

_I am not just a product of my past! I am not _his

Anko stepped forward, a decision making itself known. It drowned out his manipulation, the snake's voice. It stepped forward, and shouted: _Damn this to hell! I'm not anyone's fucking doll!_

Orochimaru turned to meet her eyes with faint surprise in his. "Are you going to try defy me as well?" he asked, irritated but unconcerned.

"You can't control me," the kunoichi told him. She was standing straight, regaining a shred of her pride, her fierce attitude that had held her up for most of her life. "I'm not going to let you do this."

The Sannin smirked with amusement. "Are you going to try to _kill_ me, Anko-chan?" He sauntered closer, every movement of his body evoking hundreds of memories.

Anko met his eyes, feeling that attraction for him. She wasn't going to fight it any more, but neither was she going to be a slave to it. "I hate you," she said softly, "And I love you. I'm not going to kill you, but I _am_ going to stop you, and I don't care what I have to do to do it."

"If I don't help you, then you'll die," he told her softly, his voice a mixture of unnameable emotions.

She would never understand him, or know how he saw her, or how he felt about her. But some things were more important that her _life_ or her _feelings_. "Then so be it." she replied, just as softly. And then she pulled together her chakra, and poured it into the ground beneath her feet.

Orochimaru used his own chakra to prevent her from fixing the cracks he had caused in the mountain, and it was a monumental and invisible fight. It was a contest of will and power, and while Orochimaru may have been superior in the latter, Anko was determined to be superior by sheer force of will. As fights went, it was not spectacular. There was no blood spilt, except the blood that began to run from Anko's nose and the corners of her eyes. A trail of crimson flowed from her ears, as she _pulled _all her power, and all the power of the unwilling serpent, and poured it into the fight going on in the rock beneath them all. There were no cries, except for the faint sigh Anko made as she sank to her knees. They were both standing still, eyes closed or blank as they concentrated on something no one else could see.

Anko fought to contain all the dangerous cracks in the monument with her chakra, while Orochimaru fought to break them wider. The ground rumbling threateningly below them was the only outward indication of the forces at work. But finally it came down to one decision: whether either of them was willing to put all they had into the fight, risking the very chakra that kept them alive. Perhaps it came as no surprise that, as much as he wished for the destruction of Konoha, Orochimaru was not willing to risk his life for that goal.

The Sannin slumped slightly, opening his eyes with a shudder. Kabuto was immediately at his side, using his own chakra to bring Orochimaru's back to normal. The snake Sannin turned to look at Anko, who was still kneeling with her eyes tightly shut in furious concentration as she fought the pull of the cracks already in the cliff-face.

"Orochimaru-sama?" the medic-spy said questioningly.

The Sannin's expression was unreadable as he continued to watch the young woman for a moment, before he finally turned away. "We're leaving," he said shortly to his aide.

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto's eyes slid to where the Hokage was still busy trying to keep the Copy Nin alive, to where the Uchiha was slowly getting up from the floor, to where the kunoichi knelt. They were almost defenceless, all of them, and they could kill them all ... Orochimaru could kill Anko and then collapse the mountain, he could kill another Hokage ... But Kabuto couldn't read that look in the Sannin's eyes, and he knew better than to go against his instincts, which were almost screaming at him to obey, and not question.

In a moment, the two were gone. Sasuke stared at the spot where they had been, the two men who had almost brought Konoha to its knees again. He moved towards the Hokage, and his old sensei. The Uchiha stared down at the silver-haired man, noticing that Tsunade had pulled down his mask so that he could breathe more easily. Sasuke stared at that face, remembering when he, Naruto, and Sakura had spent an entire day trying to see it. They had come up with so many plans, none of which had worked. It was ironic that now, long after he felt any desire to, he would see the famous Copy Nin's face. His lower face was smooth, flawless. Kakashi had a strong jaw-line, an expressive mouth that was flecked with spots of blood from when Orochimaru had pierced his lung.

The Godaime sighed as she finally withdrew her hands from the shinobi's chest. "He'll live," she told the boy softly.

But before she could even get her breath to ask the Uchiha why he had helped them, they were distracted by a cry from Anko that coincided with a lurch of the mountain and sharp cracks and groans.

...o..o.o..o...

_Anko was immersed in the mountain – it was more her body now than the flesh and blood that waited for her above. The spreading cracks felt like slices in her own skin, like she was being torn apart. She was trying so hard to stop it, to heal it, but she had never been a healer and she was spread too thin. There wasn't enough of her to stop the imminent collapse ... the collapse that would take innocent lives ..._

"_No!" Anko pulled deeper, straining against the restless earth. She poured herself into the mountain – all of her that there was. Once, she'd had a dream ... a dream to be a good shinobi, to be a credit to her village. She called on that long-lost dream, and poured herself into the faces of the Hokage, drawing her strength from the Sandaime, who had given his life to try to stop the student who had betrayed him, and the Yondaime who had given his life to save his village from a demon fox. If the collapse began, there was no telling where or if it would stop. Anko wouldn't let that happen._

_With another cry of pain, the earth began to settle. With another desperate struggle, the cracks began to heal. Slowly, slowly the mountain stabilised. Oh so slowly, the danger passed. And Anko was drifting ... drifting in a tide of crimson water, air, soil. Blood stained the earth – she could feel it. It seeped through her soul as it seeped through the soil. The snake was a faint, powerless presence that followed her as she drifted. _

_But something was tugging at her free form – something painful and constricting. Sharp hooks were digging into the fabric of her soul, and dragging her towards agony. She cried and twisted, but the pull wouldn't relent. The crimson tide was gathering her together, swelling up and up, until it broke over her and washed her thought away._

...o..o.o..o...

Smoke rose up from the village later that day. Villagers, both civilian and shinobi, started the slow process of recovery. The Konoha shinobi had battled to repel the surprise invasion by both Sound and Rock, and the repercussions from that day would last for a long time. Once again Leaf was left with a huge amount of damage to repair, and losses to mourn.

The giant snake had been eventually destroyed by Konoha jonin and ANBU, and every shinobi from genin level to ANBU had fought for the survival of the village. It was only good fortune that a group of visitors from Sand had been on their way to discuss the next chunin exam with the Hokage, and they had grown suspicious when no ANBU appeared to question them when they reached Konoha territory. The visitors, the new Kazekage Gaara, his sister Temari and brother Kankuro, provided the help needed to eliminate or chase off the attackers. And when parts of the mountain started to fall, it was Gaara's sand shield that saved the people in the way of the falling rock.

When Sakura ran past, leading the civilians and children away from their refuge in the mountain, they discovered Orochimaru's plan to collapse it on the village. Shikamaru, Ino, Shino, Hinata and a number other genin and chunin joined her in evacuating people away from the cliff-face, and provided protection as well. It was a panicked nightmare, especially when the monument seemed about to fall and the tremors threw people off their feet, but ... suddenly the ground settled.

With all the invaders having retreated or been killed, the young kunoichi medic lead a group of shinobi to the top of the mountain where she had left Sasuke, the Hokage, and the others. They had arrived to see Kakashi lying on the grass, pale but alive, with the Godaime kneeling over a more pale Anko. The Hokage's hands were bloodstained, and she was almost as pale as her patients as she swayed, barely able to stay up with almost no chakra left. It was only Sakura's intervention that saved Anko's life by drawing her soul back into her body.

Then it was only a matter of hoping that she would wake up.

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

The first thing she was aware of was red. Red light filtered through her eyelids, and she consciously drew in a long breath. It was so hard just to breathe, and her heart laboured in her breast. Opening her eyes was the next challenge, because the red light reminded her too much of a -_crimson tide_- ...

Anko opened her eyes, and blinked a few times to clear her vision. She was in a hospital room – she'd been in enough of them to realise that right away. And she wasn't alone.

The kunoichi turned her head, and Kakashi slowly came into view. She had to blink a few times again, so that the tears that welled wouldn't fall. _He's alive._

She didn't realise that she'd said it aloud. "Yes. And so are you. Apparently we're very lucky." He smiled a little at her, under his mask. "Hokage-sama tells me that if either of us get so close to death again, she'll bring us back just so that she can kill us herself for taking such risks."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but Anko cut him off. She didn't want to hear what he was going to say. She couldn't, not just yet. "Sasuke?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I heard how he tried to stop Orochimaru – I was a bit distracted at the time." He paused for moment. "He disappeared before help came. I think he probably felt Sakura and the other shinobi coming. It's anyone's guess where he is now."

"Probably gone to find another teacher," Anko replied softly. She could see the boy, the young man, in her mind's eye. The image of him, spitting blood as he said _"I'm not like him!"_ would never leave her. Just like she would never forget the look in Orochimaru's eyes when she defied him. It had combined so many feelings that she couldn't name a single one. "He would never have stayed."

Kakashi nodded. "I suppose not, though Sakura had high hopes. She sent a message to Naruto, to tell him what happened here and he and Jiraiya returned to help. Those two will never give up on Sasuke now."

"He may ... he may go back to Orochimaru."

"It's possible." Kakashi agreed. There was another moment of uncomfortable silence, which Anko broke before he could.

"And Shizune? Is she ..."

Kakashi smiled. "She's alive. It was a close thing, but it seems that Kabuto didn't have time to finish her off. The rest of the Sound and Rock nin were dealt with. We had a bit of help from Sand." His gaze intensified as he met her eyes. "Sasuke sent Sakura to evacuate the civilians and children away from the cliff-face. We had few losses overall in the fighting, but it could have been a lot worse." He paused. "Anko-"

She looked down at her hands, which were holding the sheets tightly and she forced them to relax. "I can't hear it. I can't hear its voice in my head any more." It was true. The snake spirit's presence was hidden, gone.

The Copy Nin reached out and took her hand. She met his eyes again with an effort. "Jiraiya came back, and he helped me seal it," he told her softly. "You almost killed yourself when you used up all its chakra as well as your own, but it meant that we could seal it while it was weak. It's not gone – it's still inside you. But you ... you aren't going to die, Anko. Not as long as it stays sealed."

Anko almost couldn't believe what he was saying. She didn't want to think about what he and Jiraiya had had to do to seal the snake spirit – something that _no one_ was supposed to be able to do. Something that no one had ever done.

Her mouth went dry when she opened it to ask a question that she didn't want to ask him. Not Kakashi. Anyone but him. "And ..." she coughed, pulled herself together. "And ... what happened to Orochimaru?" Her heart beat painfully. All she could remember was setting herself to countering his jutsu. She could remember contending with him, pouring herself into the fight, but then ... then he pulled away. After she gave all she had, he pulled away.

Kakashi looked away, pulling in a slightly shaky breath. "Tsunade-sama told me that he left with Kabuto. He left, when he could have killed her, or you, or me." He met her eyes again, with his full of hurt and despair and anger and hope. "She doesn't know why. Do you?"

Anko looked down again. "... No."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A month or more passed. It took a long time for Anko to regain her strength, and get settled back into life in Konoha. The Council had forgiven her her crimes, as reward for her part in saving the village. Some still looked at her with distrust, but she felt that she deserved it. It took a long time before she could look in the mirror without seeing a snake hovering over her shoulder in her reflection. She had regular appointments with one of the medics to check that the containment seal was still whole.

She and Kakashi were taking things slowly. Some things could never be forgotten, but he was willing to try. Anko hadn't decided yet how she really felt. She cared about him, maybe not as much as he did about her, but she really did. Some part of her may even love him, but only time would tell.

It was a while before Anko followed the force pulling her a few days out from Konoha, but she couldn't resist it forever. She needed to see him again. She needed to ask him so many questions.

But when Orochimaru stepped out from the shadows under the trees on the edge of the clearing where they had fought so long ago, most of the questions slipped from her mind. For once the mocking smirk was absent from his lips, and he watched her with solemn seriousness.

"Why didn't you kill them?" she asked, the question almost forcing itself to be spoken. The words hung between them, and even though she felt a pull to walk closer to him she held herself rigidly still.

The Sannin shook his head slightly, his ebony hair falling over one eye. "There will be another time." he replied. "I will not stab any of them in the back, as easy as it may have been to do so. When Konoha falls, they will see me coming." His golden eyes were intense, powerful. "This is not the end, Anko."

She stood a little straighter. "Then you must know that I will be there – to stop you. You will have to go through me first."

The corners of his lips curved upwards at her challenge. "If that is what you wish." He saw through her. "But you may have changed sides again, when that time comes." His smile was possessive, arrogant and sure.

"I don't belong to you. You don't determine my future." she said, her voice flat as she denied him. But he tugged at something inside her that she couldn't deny.

"You can't change what _is_, Anko," he replied, starting to turn away.

The question escaped her lips before she could chain it. "Why didn't you kill me?"

His mouth quirked in his typical amused, all-knowing smirk as he turned slightly to reply. After he spoke, he was gone, leaving her alone in the dark, silent, towering forest.

Alone except for his words, which lingered and whispered in her mind long after he had left. It was an echo of another time, when she had been a betrayed child staring at her sensei, and yet it was an echo of the future as well – one that was uncertain, unwritten.

"Just letting you live may be of some use to me."

.c.c.c..c.c.c.

A/N: Sort of unexpected, hey? But the future is never written, and doesn't end here – I'll leave it up to you. I wish you all very happy future years and great stories ahead! Don't leave your dreams behind or let yourself be a mere product of your past :)

Gabriel99/Megs


End file.
